I ask myself every single day how a life can end up like this.
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@soulofgraves
I ask myself every single day how a life can end up like this.

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I love the remixes from Clan of Xymox. <3
I try in vain To disconnect my brain I don't know if I can handle it Handle so much pain
I don't know what's left to gain All the guilt and now the blame I don't want to stop this game I'm starting to enjoy the pain
I don't care what you claim I still hear your voice replaying The only thing that remains Is to disconnect my brain
I try to disinfect And sanitize my brain Perhaps I won't be satisfied Until I go insane
Disconnect Disconnect
Disconnect my brain Disconnect Disconnect Disconnect my pain
I love it when an organ plays somewhere in the distance.

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If one were to look deep inside people, one would no longer see, what the outer shell represents to the unknown world. - Food for thought.
Ultimately, the entirety of human existence is characterized merely by repression: people invent religion to find a "universal meaning of life" and have an answer for everything; they choose a profession to keep themselves occupied so they no longer have to think about it; they look to the media for the simplest answers; and they listen only to what they want to hear...
I love it when people don't want to see things; - yet see them anyway...
Constantly facing fierce resistance - and fighting for a cause without achieving any results, eventually leads you to think that you are simply living in the wrong world or reality.
Weak or retard people get rewarded. I’m waiting for a damn heatwave…
Copilot is telling to my dreams:
How about suggesting a funny or interesting question for getting to know someone? Something a bit quirky, yet an instant conversation starter:
"What completely useless skill have you mastered surprisingly well?"
It’s short, funny, and everyone has some odd little talent that leads to a good story.
If you like, I can give you a few more alternatives in different styles. - I have a great memory for my dreams. That’s a pretty cool skill—and one many people wish they had. After all, dreams are like little nightly movies that you usually forget right away. Being able to remember them well opens up some exciting possibilities.
A charming follow-up question could be:
"Since you remember your dreams so well: what was the last dream that was so strange or beautiful that it really stuck with you?"
Or something a bit more playful:
"If your dreams had their own genre—would they be fantasy, comedy, or full-on experimental film?"
Would you like to use one of those as an icebreaker, or should I give you a few more variations that suit your skill? - The last truly beautiful dream that stuck in my memory was around the end of May 2026. I was traveling by train through a vast, deserted mountain landscape. During the journey, I took photos of various waterfalls. Afterward, I visited a small town library and looked at books on art and photography. I’d classify my dreams as leaning towards "fantasy." That sounds like a dream that is simultaneously calm, visually striking, and a little magical—exactly the kind of blend that defines fantasy, even without dragons or magic wands. A solitary train ride through the mountains, capturing waterfalls, followed by that contrast: a small library, almost like a hidden place that only appears when you really need it. It feels a bit like a world opening up to you simply because you’re looking at it.
What I find fascinating is that your dream feels like a journey—one that isn't so much about reaching a destination as it is about conveying a mood. The landscape is empty, yet not threatening. The library is small, yet significant. And you are the connecting figure—observing, gathering, and capturing moments.
If you like, we could turn this into a lovely "getting-to-know-you" question that suits you perfectly:
"If you could photograph a scene from your dreams, which one would it be—and why that specific one?"
Or, something a bit more playful:
"If you had the choice, in which dream landscape would you love to wake up?"
I could also craft a question that ties directly into your dream from May while remaining universal enough for anyone to answer. - One specific scene from my dreams that I would love to photograph is an abandoned estate situated within a vast, colossal cemetery. I dream about cemeteries quite often and appreciate the quiet, mystical atmosphere that inspires reflection. Incidentally, I enjoy exploring the themes of death and the transience of life.
That’s a fascinating blend of aesthetics, silence, and a touch of darkness—not in a menacing sense, but rather like a space that invites reflection. Many people find cemeteries eerie, but for you, it sounds like a place that offers peace, clarity, and depth. That fits perfectly with your interest in transience: you don’t seem to shy away from these themes but rather view them as part of life—perhaps even as a source of inspiration.
There is something symbolic about the scene featuring an abandoned estate within a vast cemetery. A place defined by the past and finitude becomes a subject you want to capture—as if the camera allows you to appreciate the silence rather than fear it. And an estate amidst that expanse feels like a secret waiting for you alone to discover it.
If you were to turn this into a question for getting to know someone, it could become something truly special—revealing your own personality while encouraging others to open up:
"What place—real or imaginary—inspires you to reflect on transience?"
Or something a bit more playful, yet still profound:
"If you could photograph a place that captures the mood of transience for you, what would it look like?"
And if you want something even more mystical:
"Is there a place that feels both peaceful and eerie to you—and what draws you to it?"
If you like, I can also craft a question that ties directly into your dreamscapes while remaining universal. - It is primarily cemeteries that inspire me to reflect on transience. But often, it is simply other abandoned places—such as solitary, vacant buildings or even deserted towns (like Bodie or Chernobyl).
In my imagination, I picture a place I have actually dreamt of: an abandoned room where someone has died.

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When you spend a whole damn evening translating the stories from "Necrophilia Variations" by Supervert. ^^
...Why must funerals always be so dramatic and sad? - Why can’t it be a celebration of a person who has found release?
Well, even if there is no one else there: have a drink at my funeral.
It is not death that makes me sad; but life - death is just the end of all pain and sadness.
When your entire life feels empty and meaningless, try shifting your "mental focus" to change your perspective:
For instance, imagine that you only truly wake up when you go at night to bed—and that when you wake up again tomorrow morning, it is all just the beginning of a shit dream…
That works, if you have a good damn memory for dreams and a vivid imagination.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Given my current situation, I constantly find myself thinking back to how I was repeatedly judged for my "introverted way of life." People told me, introversion was the reason of my depressions, but in reality, it was the shit bullying and thinking of other people.
Well; most people thought, that staying alone in your room "isn't a good thing"; but in truth, it can be the only form of freedom in this world...
It is much like how most people think about "apparent loneliness": they fail to realize, that one can also feel "lonely" in the midst of the biggest community, because so much in it is superficial. (Just ask the biggest stars standing on a stage…).
People are completely overrated, insignificant and stupid. They only really become interesting once they are dead. -I mean, it is far more interesting to observe the biological decomposition of a dead body, than to endure just superficial and subjective opinions...