SorchaJayne

He, Brian, Ian, and several friends had fixed up the cottage. Jenny and Mam had decorated the back deck and garden with fairy lights, flowers and streamers. A table had been laid with Mam’s best china and silver. Mam had cooked a meal fit for royalty, complete with all the fancy trimmings. Rupert and Angus had even managed to hang a glittering silver ball atop a makeshift dance floor. Ian and Jenny had hand-picked the music softly playing over an unseen speaker.

As Claire took it all in, tears sprang to her eyes.

She whispered, “Oh Jamie. You did all this for me?”

“Aye. I’d do anything for ye, Claire.”

He kissed her softly on her cheek, then thumbed away a tear on her pearlescent cheek.

“Now, no more tears, aye?”

Claire sniffed and laughed. “Aye.”

**********

Together, they enjoyed the sumptuous meal and danced under the stars and the glittering lights cast around the yard by the light ball. Jamie sang in Claire’s ear, albeit a little off-tune, and held her close as they danced.

He pulled her to a stop and took a deep breath. She could tell he was nervous, having noted his clammy palms.

He lowered down to a knee. Claire breathed out, “ohhh” as Jamie took out a small blue velvet box that held a small shiny diamond ring.

“Claire, I think I have loved ye forever. I asked Da once how I’d ken when I was in love. He told me I’d just ken. It wasn’t something that would just hit me. It would grow over time and suddenly, there before my very eyes, there it would be.

“And so it was. Suddenly, one day, there ye were. But ye’d always been there. However, ye were more. Ye were everything tae me. The breath in my lungs. The beat of my heart. And now,” he touched her belly, “the two of us have made this bairn. We are now forever tied together heart and soul.

“I’d consider it my greatest honor if ye’d consent to be my wife, Claire. Will ye marry me?”

Claire stood before him, her quivering hands covering her mouth. Despite his ban on any further tears for the evening, she felt them fall unbidden from her eyes as she nodded yes.

Jamie’s face beamed brilliantly as he took the ring and placed it on her finger. He kissed it, then rose and took her face in his hands.

“I love ye, Claire. My Sorcha.”

“I love you, too.”

**********

Jamie led her to one of the set of French doors that spanned the back of the deck. Upon opening it, he led her into a bedroom that glowed softly. The bed was framed by entwined willow branches, intertwined with fairy lights and lacy tulle. The bed was invitingly turned down with pristine white, lace-edged sheets and a thick matching duvet. Throughout the room, sat candles in lanterns that softly flickered. The warm late spring breeze drifted in through the open French doors.

“Oh Jamie,” Claire breathed, “this is beautiful.”

“I ken that our first time wasn’t what we wanted it to be. But, I was hoping, if ye were alright wi’ it, that we could maybe have a redo. I wanted our first time tae be so much more. Would ye let me make it up tae ye?”

Jamie held his breath as Claire looked around, taking it all in.

“Who did all this, then?”

Jamie tugged her closer to him and threaded his arms around her waist. “I did. I didnae want anyone else tae see this part. It’s...well, it’s private. My gift from me tae ye.”

“What about your parents?”

“I dinnae care anymore. This is just for ye and me. No one else.”

Claire was overwhelmed. She reached her arms up around his neck and drew him to her and sighed. It was the first time they had been this close since...since that one time. He had avoided anything resembling intimacy with Claire, not because he didn’t want her. Because, Christ, he did. He avoided it because he wanted to give her space. And frankly, he wasn’t comfortable with it, given that his parents were there under the same roof. Then there was the guilt. So much guilt that he’d done this to Claire and made her suffer so, despite all her rejections of any notion that it was anything but the both of them, together, that held the blame for the fix they were in. But tonight, it was just the two of them.

And a fresh start. A do-over.

He slowly leaned in and gently kissed her lips.

He tried to go slow. He really did. But having gone months without her touch, he was more than primed. Their kisses quickly became heated, their touches inflamed.

He reached behind her and slowly eased the zipper down on her dress. He had gazed all night at her swelling cleavage. It hadn’t escaped his notice that her breasts were growing plumper and filling out. He ached to touch them. He eased her dress down to the ground and helped her step out of it.

What greeted him was a vision beyond words.

She stood before him in a matching red strapless lace bra and red lacy thong. Her skin shone in the light. Their child lay protected in her swollen belly, that he had finally seen uncovered for the first time.

He stared at her for so long that Claire finally wrapped her arms around herself and burst out, “Will you bloody well say something?!”

All he could manage was, “Christ, Claire, ye’re beautiful.”

Her face transformed and she smiled. She reached for him and began to undress him, as he had her. Once his jacket, shirt, tie, shoes and socks were removed, he stood before her in just his trousers. She went to remove them and brushed against his swollen cock, causing it to twitch.

He had to get control of himself. He wanted this to be better.

He closed his eyes as she lowered his trousers and his boxer briefs. He counted to 10. And then 20.

His hands trailed up and down her arms and traced a path across the top of the red lace covering the swells of her breasts. Pulling her closer to him, he threaded his left hand into the back of her hair and tipped her head to the side. He ran soft kisses up and down her neck, stopping occasionally to suck on the spot that he knew drove her wild.

Running both hands down her back, he reached to unclasp her bra and dropped it to the floor. He took a step back and feasted his eyes on her. Her nipples were larger and darker. Beneath the surface, delicate blue veins showed that he’d never noticed before. Taking her hand, he stepped backward until he reached the foot of the bed, where he sat before her, pulling her in between his spread legs.

Slowly, he lowered her thong, kissing a path along their way to the ground. She leaned to slide off her heels when he stopped her with a hand. “Nae. Leave them on. I like them.”

His hands slid back up to cradle her tummy and he kissed it. Softly he explored her rounded shape, getting acquainted with it. He noticed the barely there silvery marks where her skin had stretched. He noticed how hard it felt in comparison to the softness of it before that one time. Snaking his fingers up, he cupped her breasts and wondered at the fullness of them. Not only that, he caught on rather quickly that they were now extremely sensitive. He had barely touched the nipples when he had drawn a breathy, threaded sound out of her.

Leaning forward, he drew one into his mouth and she drew him tighter to him with a loud moan, clutching his curls in her fingers. He switched to the other side, lavishing it with the same attention.

Suddenly, she pulled him to his feet and dragged him to the bed.

“Wait,” he whispered.

He reached up and released her hair from the pins that held it up, followed carefully by the tiara. Her curls fell in a perfumed cloud that drugged him. He eased her backwards onto the bed and crawled up beside her.

There before him was his Sorcha. Her hair spread out on the pillow. Her skin glowing in the soft light. His dream became reality before his eyes..

She reached for him and wrapped her small hand around his cock, then dragged his hand down between her legs. His breath caught at the sheer amount of heat that he felt there between her legs. She was so wet for him.

Christ. 1...2...3...4...5…

Her hand moved faster and he moved his faster in time with the rhythm she set. Their quickened breath, their racing hearts fueled the fire even further. He kissed her, tangling his tongue with hers, panting open-mouthed against hers.

She pulled back. “Now, Jamie. Please, now!”

He positioned himself between her legs and nearly expired as the glow from the fairy lights above them reflected on the wetness between her legs and practically running down her thighs. Grabbing his cock, he slowly slid inside her, giving her a moment to get used to the girth of him before moving in further and further.

When he was inside her buried to the hilt, he couldn’t hold back the ragged groan that came out of him. She thrust up against him and he almost came then and there as her inner muscles grabbed him and pulsed around him.

Three more thrusts and they both came together, crying out as they pulsed together and clung to each other.

Basking in the afterglow, Jamie felt the baby shift against him. He reared away and looked in wonder at Claire. “Was that…?”

Claire nodded. “Umm-hmm. I’ve been feeling little flutters for a while now, but just lately, I’m starting to feel her shifting and kicking.”

Jamie placed a hand gingerly on her tummy and waited. Soon enough, he felt a little ripple against his hand. “Do ye think it’s a girl, then?”

“I don’t really know. I just think of her as a girl, I suppose. Maybe it’s mother’s intuition?”

He frowned a bit and then said, “Claire, I ken I haven’t really been involved lately, but I really do want to be a real Da. Will ye tell me when things like this happen so I can share in it wi’ ye?”

Claire looked at him searchingly. He wondered what she was really thinking in that head of hers. Despite her glass face, sometimes she could be hard to read.

“Alright. Do you really mean to marry me and stay with us? Be a real family? Will you be happy and not feel...I don’t know...maybe ‘trapped’?”

Ahh. So that was it.

“Claire, I told ye I would. I’m not trapped, as ye say. Yes, I wish it had mebbe happened a bit more conventionally, but it is what it is. Fate brought us together and fate is keeping us together. Tae me, marriage is forever.”

Despite her own problems, she was excited for them to enjoy prom. Jenny and Ellen had taken over and had helped Claire get dressed. Jenny had found a beautiful long, off-the-shoulder gown with a deep-cut neckline. The waistline was gathered just under her breasts with a band of glittering rhinestones, where the folds and pleats cleverly disguised her ever-expanding waistline. And best of all?

The dress was red. She was certain she had never mentioned her dream of a red prom dress to anyone. Well, anyone but Jamie. But would he…?

Ellen had loaned her a glittering matching diamond and ruby set. The necklace sat perfectly with the diamond-encrusted ruby falling down to just above her swelling cleavage. Complementing it was a bracelet and draping earrings. Jenny had topped it off with a diamond tiara that she slipped into her up-do.

“I ken it’s a bit over the top, but every prom has a prom queen, right?”

Claire laughed and hugged both of them. They left her to the final bits of her preparations. Claire sat on the corner of the bed and slipped on her strappy glittering silver heels. She smoothed on a last bit of lotion on her legs and arms and touched up her lipstick.

She stood before the mirror and marveled at her reflection.

She had never, in her wildest dreams, have imagined this. She was beautiful and glowing.

It was even better than she had dreamed.

**********

Jamie stood at the bottom of the stairs and was awestruck at the vision that approached him. He had never seen his Claire as radiant. She had always been beautiful to him. But tonight, she glowed.

His Sorcha.

He stood before her in his Da’s tuxedo. They were of a like size, so he opted to borrow it. He saw, with some satisfaction, how Claire’s eyes widened when she saw him. She smiled at him and it was as if the sun came out and melted all their troubles away. He hadn’t seen her smile like that since...well...since “before”.

As she reached the final step, he held out a hand to her and she took it.

He’d always known, in some way. She was his.

And he was hers.

**********

After the flurry of traditional picture-taking and the pinning on of flowers, Jamie led Claire outside to their conveyance. Da had helped him dress up the old carriage. They had attached two of their best matched Friesian horses to pull it. Jamie himself had brushed their coats and manes until they were shining flawlessly. Jenny had attached tiny silver bells to the reins so they jingled as they moved.

She had been distant of late and spent a good portion of her time in her room. Jamie still did what he could to see to her needs, but she could tell he had something weighing heavily on his mind.

As the date of the prom drew nearer, she fell deeper into a depression that even surprised her. She was moody. She cried at anything and everything. She slept (a lot). She ate (a lot). She yelled at Geillis and Louise when they offered to take her shopping for a fancy dress.

It was during that week that she had found an unusual ally in Jamie’s father. Brian had dismissed Geillis and Louise when they showed up to drag her out of the house. He had shooed away Ellen and even Jenny when they had tried to get Claire interested in dresses online.

On the day of the prom, he had found her out in the barn sitting in the hay as she held Adso the cat, tears streaking down her cheeks.

He sat beside her and patiently listened to her as she poured her heart out to him. How she missed her parents. How she missed being a teenager and going to parties. How she missed wearing her favorite jeans. How she missed just being a kid that blended in and didn’t look different. How she hated the staring and the whispers. How she missed her best friend, despite the fact that he lived in the same house that she did. How she regretted that one time. How she wanted to go to prom but couldn’t. How she had dreamed of being a princess for a day, but wouldn’t be able to because life wasn’t fair.

Brian patiently listened to her and helped her dry her tears.

“Aye, lass. I ken how ye feel.”

Claire shook her head. “No you don’t. No one knows how I feel!”

“Ah, but that’s where yer wrong.”

Brian began to tell her about how he and Ellen had met at Hogmanay. They were 18 years old. They fell head over heels for each other and Ellen quickly ended up pregnant. Ellen’s family was very much against the idea of marriage to Brian, who they deemed beneath their daughter’s station. On the eve of being shipped off to her sister, Jocasta, in America, where she would live until she had the baby, Brian and Ellen stole away in the night and fled to Edinburgh where they eloped. By the time that Ellen’s brothers found them, they were already married and had found a small flat. Brian worked two jobs to earn a living. At three months, Ellen suffered a miscarriage.

They had never told Jenny nor Jamie about it.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the barnyard around them.

“Sae, ye see why we didna want ye both tae end up in the same situation that we did, aye?”

Claire nodded.

“I do understand, Claire. I ken exactly how ye and Jamie feel.”

He pulled Claire to him and hugged her warmly as she sniffled on his shoulder.

“Now. I believe our Jamie has something planned for ye. I ken it won’t be the prom ye envisioned, but it’s as close as we can get tae it. He’s worked hard on it these last few weeks.”

“You mean all this time, he knew? That’s why everyone is pushing me to look for a dress?”

“It is,” Brian smiled and squeezed her to him with one arm. “His mam and Jenny got ye a dress and yer friends are coming over to help ye get ready. He has a night planned at the cottage that just might be tae yer liking. Now, what do ye say? Shall we get ye inside and get this party started?”

She had hidden her pregnancy well. She had been very clever about wearing loose clothing until the day that even those wouldn’t work. Ellen had taken her to purchase the dreaded maternity clothing and today was the first day she had no choice but to wear them at school.

It was the first day that everyone knew without the shadow of a doubt.

Geillis, Louise and Jamie had all taken great pains to be at her side, throwing daggers with their eyes at those who dared to stare too long or gossip too loudly.

That is, until now. She was alone.

She’d never felt so alone in all her life.

She heard a whispered conversation behind her between three 15-year old girls. One whispered in a scandalized voice, “Did ye ken she was...pregnant?”

Then another. “Nae! It’s a wonder she got away wi’ it for sae long.”

“Do ye ken who the father is?”

“I heard it was that Jamie Fraser...ye ken...the tall red-headed dreamy dish that ye’ve been drooling over.”

Claire frowned.

“Oh, hush ye! I have nae been drooling over…”

“Shhhh! Here he comes!”

Claire looked up as Jamie set his tray down beside her. “I’m sae sorry I’m late. I didnae mean tae leave ye alone tae deal with all…,” he trailed off. She knew exactly what he meant. He felt and heard all that she had. Her face was red with shame. Jamie had always said she had a glass face and today was no exception.

He reached up a tentative hand and brushed the hair behind her ear. “Are ye alright?”

Claire nodded.

“Ye don’t look alright.”

Misery washed over her as she heard more whispers and titters.

“Here. Eat yer lunch. Our bairn needs nourishment.” They had been reading a book on pregnancy and birth that Jenny, who already had one bairn, had loaned them. Jamie had taken his role as father rather seriously as they were enlightened on the finer points of having a healthy pregnancy. He made sure she ate. He made sure she took her prenatal vitamins. He held her hair back when she threw up each morning and passed her a cool cloth and a glass of water to rinse her mouth. He made sure she got rest and that she put her feet up. He carried her backpack full of books and refused to let her bear the burden of it.

He had done everything right.

But this? For this, he had no answers. The book didn’t address how to handle the shame one felt. The book didn’t address how to shut out the looks of judgement and the whispers. The book didn’t address how one handled something that should have been a joyous situation when it was laden with regret and shame instead.

As the months wore on, she grew accustomed to the tiny being growing within her. She often laid her hands on her tummy and spoke to it, telling it stories of the dreams she had, how she envisioned their life as a family of three had life gone as it should’ve.

But those were just dreams. Reality was much darker.

She jolted out of those thoughts when Geillis and Louise arrived at the table. Geillis was busy telling off a tableful of nosy Nellies to mind their own business when the school’s guidance counselor walked up to the table. Mrs. Graham was a kindly sort who got along with all the students. She sat down beside Claire and offered her a sympathetic smile.

“Hello, Claire. I ken that today might be a little rough fer ye. Would ye and yer friends like tae have lunch in my office? We could chat a bit and ye could have some privacy for a bit.”

Relieved, Claire quickly accepted. She would do anything to get out of this room.

Geillis and Louise had begged off, stating their need to cram for an upcoming test in the afternoon.

Jamie and Claire took their lunch trays and followed Mrs. Graham, prying eyes staring at them as they walked by. Claire could imagine the conversations that would begin as soon as the door closed behind them.

As they settled in the counselor’s office, Mrs. Graham made them feel at ease with conversation. They discussed the weather, the new shelf of books in the library that had been donated by a local organization, the prospect of finding Mr. McDonald’s glasses (which he frequently misplaced), and the likelihood that they would beat the local rival in the big game on Friday.

After a small lull in the conversation, Mrs. Graham finally drew in a breath and leaned back in her chair. “Alright. Enough o’ that. Let’s get down tae brass tacks here. I see yer about tae be a new mother, Claire. Am I correct in the assumption that Jamie here is the father?”

Jamie spoke for them both. “Aye.”

Mrs. Graham nodded. “I’ve suspected so for a few weeks now. Have ye both discussed how ye are going to proceed, then?”

“Aye, we have. We’ll be married as soon as school is out. Claire is staying at my house. Her Da isna speaking tae us right now.”

“I see. So, ye have support, then?”

“Aye. My parents are helping us fer now.”

“And what would be yer plans for the future? Are ye still planning on going tae University and continuing on wi’ yer schooling?”

Claire spoke this time. “We are. I know it will be difficult. I don’t have any doubt about that. I don’t want Jamie to lose his chance at his scholarship. I don’t want to hold him back.”

Mrs. Graham smiled, “O’ course no’. But what about ye, Claire? What about yer dreams and yer plans?”

Jamie began to reply but Claire held him off. “I decided that I won’t be going to University.”

Mrs. Graham frowned and Jamie turned to her, “No! Ye had plans tae be a nurse. I’ll no’ hear o’ it! Ye’ll go until the bairn comes. Ye have yer college fund, sae we’ll be able tae afford it.”

Claire shook her head. “I haven’t told you yet, but Mum called me. She said that she had tried to smooth things over with Dad. He’s dug in his stubborn heels and he refuses to give us one dime of assistance. And that includes my college fund.”

Jamie and Mrs. Graham both gasped, both equally disturbed by the news.

“So you see, I’ll be looking for a job instead.”

Mrs. Graham scoffed at that. “Now, see here, Claire Beauchamp. Ye are too smart tae be working some low-paying job. Ye could easily qualify for scholarships wi’ yer grades and I can help ye get more financial aid. Ye just put that idea right out o’ yer mind.”

Jamie agreed with her and started to argue when the bell rang for the next classes.

“Well, that’s that. Ye can leave yer trays here and I’ll see that they get back to the lunchroom. Ye go on tae yer next classes. In the meantime, ye both think about what we discussed. And please, feel free to stop in anytime ye need tae talk or just need a private space to escape. I ken it can be difficult. I’ll be here tae help ye both in any way I can.”