words are my love language.

I thought I had already found myself, and then I met him. Through experiencing and loving him, I discovered another version of myself.

Will this love last forever? I don't know. But do I love him truly and sincerely with my entire being? Yes.

Sometimes I wonder: does this man deserve so much love from me? Am I loving him the right way? Am I doing it wrong? Am I loving too much? My heart and my mind are constantly at war over this love. And yet, I still drown in it and cherish the love we share.

Will love ever make sense to humankind? Or is love simply... loving?

Loving him has been one of the most selfish and unexpected experiences of my entire life.

Am I loving him the right way? Is this love simply wrong? Because deep in my heart, I want to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally, without pretending that my way of loving is somehow less than, or less worthy.

But, still. I will always cherish the moments we've shared together. It was never about love or even curiosity. It was a mere 'fling,' if I dared to name it for us. I never thought that the literal person who would steal my first kiss would be the person that I will never have, or even have the chance to love.

I am more than my body.

I am more than what’s between my legs.

Even though I take pride in my sense of vanity and my sexuality, deep down I, too, want to be known—

to be loved deeply, beyond what only meets the eye.

I am more than my skin.

Silly me… deep inside, I still yearn to be loved unconditionally, beyond everything else.

Am I too naive, or even foolish, to wait for “the one”?

Does “the one” even exist for me?

Can I be seen deeply?

Surrounded by people, lusted after—

for a while, it made me feel something.

Maybe I am worthy of being wanted.

But beyond everything, I still desire to be seen—

truly seen—beyond any superficiality.

Am I asking too much?

Am I too greedy?

Am I ungrateful?

Is it too much to want to be understood beyond what I show?

Is it my fault that I am the way I am—

that I behave the way I do—

that I make it easy for the world to hypersexualize me?

To be constantly misunderstood…

and still dare to want more?

Am I too needy?