Where Humour Goes To Die

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

This post starts getting more notes around the end of every semester.

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

a bullet would really hit the spot right now

5 dead and 27 wounded in difficult conversation with mom

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her