I Have Too Many Hyperfixations

OOOOH THOSE THINGS

PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE IN AUSTRALIA

Yeah

OOOOH THOSE THINGS

I'm gonna be an adult in the next 24 hours. Please help me

Welcome to adulthood. Let's suffer together.

I thought you were already an adult????

I forgot I had Tumblr

y’all on the west coast know that nobody else calls them that right

t- they’re called zooper doopers??? huh??

THE FOCK IS A ZOOPER DOOPER THAT’S AN OTTER POP

nO WE CALL THEM ZOOPER DOOPERS N THEYRE THE BEST FAKIN SUMMER ICYPOLE

they’re literally just ice pops what the fuck are you two talking about

i call them iced lollies, what the hell is a zooper dooper

Oh my god this is even worse. Yall out here ssaying otter pop and zooper dooper with a straight face AND insisting ur right?

A fucking what now?

BITCH THEYRE FREEZIES!!!!

Here in New York it’s just called an ice.

That word’s already used?????????

I’m oretty sure I just called these popsicles

popsicles have sticks, you heathen. this is a freezie.

these are defo freezies

yall all weird asf those are just cheap popsicles

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

This conversation is very very very funny to me because I have spent so many hours of my life doing hard physical labour in wild venemous snake habitat, and yet there are people here who think in a shopping mall??? Where I can clearly see where each of my footsteps will land?? That a gorilla is a safer option to have around.

Heyy uhh my reddit account was fucking yoinked so yeah, pukicho subreddit, beware.

congrats on the transition Puk!

HELP ME, MAN