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sorry im absolutely too floored by the fact you just called me 'lizardsex' to give you an answer

This exact phenomenon is why there’s now a hyphen in my url.

once this scheiss hitzewelle stops and i am not on the brink of a kreislaufkollaps schon um neun uhr früh it'll be over for you bitches

unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british

me putting the little tag back on the bread bag

Becoming a writer is great because now you have a hobby that haunts you whenever you don’t have time to do it

they should invent a hobby that doesn’t fuck your wrists

as far as i’m concerned all pussy is clown pussy

and brother? i’m about to start honkin

and brother? i’m about to pop a tent. ffor tje circus.

and brotjer??? i’m a ballon aminal

creampie.

the line between vengeful brutal catharsis and gay sex is very thin so be careful out there

if you have dug two graves on your path for revenge bring a condom too

sometimes when i read something extremely good i can hardly stand to read more than two or three sentences at a time because i get so excited every other line that it's almost physically exhausting to get through

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

"retiring for the evening" is a very useful concept lol we should be free to say "i'm not gonna be chatting anymore tonight" without then having to pretend to be asleep. if we ever talk and you say goodnight don't stress it if i see you online later hahahahah