♤ The Radio Demon ♤

Hello, doppel-me~!

Why, I happened upon your little post, and simply couldn’t resist popping in~! Do forgive my rather rude introduction, won’t you? I was merely… helping to test your reflexes. Gotta keep you—or well, us—on our toes, after all.

"Ah, ah, ah! Using knives to greet your alters isn't very polite, you know!" Al moved to the side at the last second, away from the knife coming his way.

"While I cannot say that I blame you for wishing to share in my company - or, shall I say, our company - and I also do not mind indulging the curiosity, why don't you try pointing that blade at someone who deserves it more, hmm?" He asks, raising his eyebrow and folding his arms with a mischievous glint in his red eyes.

“Have you truly grown so soft that you require assistance to handle the likes of Vox? How embarrassing. I would have thought you’d have set your sights beyond toppling petty overlords by now.

"No, no, no. You misunderstand me, old fellow. I simply thought the endeavor to be something that would provide enough entertainment to also entertain you. I challenge you, to correct me if that fact stands to be untrue." He narrowed his own eyes, unwilling to allow anyone, even another of himself, to infer that his family was a weakness to him.

There was less amusement in his eyes, more calculation, as he tilted his head.

"..Tell me, other me, what, then, would you suggest be done for amusement, hm? Aside from attempting to stab me, that is." Two could play at this game of cat and mouse.

He lingers for a moment longer, simply grinning as his other self glowers back at him, before finally taking a step back.

"Mm...he did have his moments,” he allows. “Though, there’s hardly anything worthwhile on TV these days—just the same tired reruns.” He gives a dismissive flick of his hand. “It’s grown quite stale, to tell you the truth.”

A sharp, bark-like laugh escapes him.

“Well, that rather takes the fun out of it! Nevertheless, I’m perfectly content in your charming company! But I do suppose Lucifer could prove to be of some entertainment… though perhaps we might put a pin in that assassination plot for the time being?”

Leaning forward on his cane, he continues, voice dipping into something almost conspiratorial. “After all, it simply wouldn’t do to off the leading man before the curtain’s even risen. And besides…” He gives a brief pause. “I find myself rather eager to see just how devoted dear ‘Lu’ is to his role.”

Even though it might provide him with an outlet for his frustrations, he did not think now was the best time for such a fight. As enticing as it sounded. He considered the comment on television, and rather than shooting back a retort of his own about wondering how his other would know such things, he refrained.

"Far be it from me to infer such a thing," he turned his head to look at other Al, and rose his eyebrow. "But it almost seems as if to me, as if it might be less about keeping him around for entertainment, and more about..something else. Tell me, just when did you become so fond of the raging annoyance in circus attire?" After the little jabs about his own family, he found it only fair, it seemed, to pry about other Alastor's. Now, if he knew about the whole..'Dees' thing, or not, remained to be seen.

"..Whatever your reasoning may be...perhaps tormenting him would be more amusing than simply dispatching of him entirely," he digressed. "How does setting his beloved stack of ducks ablaze sound to you, hm?"

“Tempting, isn’t it?” Alastor purred, once again leaning in closer, all too delighted to play the proverbial Devil on his own shoulder. One side of his smile twitched downward in mock disappointment the moment he saw the notion discarded.

“A pity,” he sighed, drawing back.

His head tilted to the side, brow quirking to mirror his doppelganger’s. “And what other use would one have for an inane chatterbox?”

“The old models might make for a passable footrest, I suppose…” he mused. “Though these newer models?” He let out a low hum of faux consideration. “Why, I can hardly imagine they’re useful for anything at all!”

Alastor barked out an incredulous laugh. Fond was hardly the word he would use. Raging annoyance, however, came far closer. Honestly, he was almost insulted that any version of himself felt the need to ask such a thing. If the other was fishing for confirmation that he, too, harbored some secret longing for domesticity… well, he would simply have to be disappointed.

“I became ‘fond,’ as you so nauseatingly put it,” he sneered, nose wrinkling in distaste, “of Lucifer the moment it became beneficial to do so…” His grin sharpened. “And I’d dispose of him just as quickly.”

He held his counterpart’s gaze without blinking, silently daring him to challenge the claim.

Then a far-too-bright, far-too-wide grin spread across his face, evidently pleased the other had been the first to relent.

“Why, of course it would be!” he chirped. “Ongoing torment is ongoing entertainment, my friend!”

“Duck Flambé!” he exclaimed with a pleased clap of his hands. “I knew any version of myself must have some semblance of good taste rattling around in there.”

With a flourish of his cane, Alastor turned and began strolling toward the hotel. After a few steps, he paused and glanced back over his shoulder.

i tag @lotusxblossoms @arachnaemboss @ambers-stitch-n-bitch @kingsroach @rradiio

{ Thanks for the tag! It took me a hot second to do it, but here we are! :D

Thanks for the tag @lotusxblossoms

Open to whoever~

Another round of strawpage request!

Chapters: 27/27 Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Alastor/Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino & Velvette & Vox (Hazbin Hotel) Summary:

Exiled to the VeeTek R&D division and hidden away from the public after his disastrous breakdown, Vox finds a device that lets him see Alastor’s thoughts. When he realizes that the radio demon really is in love with him, he decides to try and get Alastor to act on his feelings one last time- especially because Alastor might destroy much more than himself if he can’t confront the truth.

@dawlingsitshermes first post for our au

If only my refusal to own one of those noisy picture boxes you call entertainment had spared me your incessant chatter. But alas! It would seem neither of us is destined to get what we want, now are we?

That being said, pal, I suggest you cease using our shared radio waves to broadcast your marital woes. I neither care to listen nor have any interest in helping to alleviate them. Though, should you interrupt my sleep again… you will find me most interested in becoming the cause of them.

Without sympathy,

“You should use a coaster”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Nonsense, my dear,” he chirped as she slid in beside him. “No one’s arguing. Your darling husband…”

A sharp sidelong glance flicked toward Lucifer. “…was merely reminding me to use a coaster. Wouldn’t want to stain the furniture now, would we, Lu~?”

// If Alastor had a nickel for every time he ended up as a mostly unwilling third in a polycule, he’d have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice./j

"Good morning, Alastor." Daisy returned, looking at the king again, and then - perhaps pointedly - leaning closer to Alastor and even placing her head on his shoulder. It was 'be a petty little menace o'clock' again, it seemed.

"As much as I would very much like to believe that.. given that one of my favorite dresses was just used as an impromptu coaster.." Daisy folded her arms. "I'm sorry, but.. I don't." She paused, then looked up at Alastor, further getting comfortable beside him. And laying it on extraaaa thick, by batting her long eyelashes at him.

"You wouldn't use my clothes for a drink cloth, now.. would you?"

{ Oh, how I love that meme for this. XD

And YES!! I actually do! DuckieDollDeer (affectionately shortened to the Dees) or possibly RoyalRadioDoll? :D

"Special..?" The king scratched his head, his hat tilting to the side as he did so. "But there wasn't much to it, and...oh.." He hasn't seen things like that in so long, it just hadn't registered at the time. Now he felt ridiculous. Again.

"...It was a special dress, Lucifer." Daisy crossed her arms and turned her head, her cheeks flushing as her ears folded back.

No, he couldn’t imagine Niffty being the least bit bothered. In fact—if he knew Niffty, and he was quite certain that he did—the implications of such a garment were more likely to send her imagination running rampant.

The dear had a most unhealthy obsession with bad boys...after all.

Especially Lucifer.

Why, he could almost picture it now: Niffty hopping about, chattering a mile a minute, bombarding Daisy with invasive questions about her… relationship with Lucifer.

An amused hum slipped over the rim of his mug as he considered it.

Should he warn Daisy…?

Perhaps.

But would he…?

Alastor took a slow, deliberate sip of his coffee.

"I think I'm going to go see if I can find her. Thank you, Alastor." Daisy rose from her seat, kissed Alastor's cheek, then turned to leave.

"Listen, Daisy.. I, uh.." Lucifer rubbed the back of his neck, holding up a finger as if he'd finally found the words he wanted. By then, she was either out of earshot...which was unlikely, given her hearing...or, not in the mood to listen. "...Damnit." Lucifer grumbled, exhaling lowly. As soon as she was out of the room entirely, Lucifer turned his gaze to Alastor.

"You!" he pointed, accusingly, at the remaining 'Dee' in the room. "...Why is it that you're never on my side, about anything? There's no way that I could have known that was a 'special' anything, it's not like I held it up to look at it. How come you didn't tell her that?" The disgruntled king crossed his arms, his tail flicking and..unfortunately, spilling that cup of his that he also, did not have a coaster for.

"...Ah, shit.."

From behind the rim, he watched as Lucifer made a clumsy attempt to call her back, only to falter when he failed to receive so much as a twitch of her ears in reply. One corner of Alastor’s mouth ticked up, hidden neatly by the cup.

Ah… perhaps now His Majesty would take the hint, slink off to sulk, and leave him to his coffee in blessed pea—

“You!”

He looked up to find a gloved finger pointed directly at him.

One brow lifted. “Side?” he echoed, mild disbelief in his tone.

Tilting his head slightly, he regarded Lucifer for a moment before adding, “I was under the impression marriage was a partnership. A team effort… or is that notion a bit outdated?”

Lucifer’s tail flicked sharply, knocking into his mug. It tipped, dark liquid pooling into the plush velvet.

Alastor’s gaze dipped briefly to the spreading stain, then lifted to meet his again.

A small snort.

"...Yeah, and I thought that marriage meant one person asked the other. I wasn't under the impression that you asked either of us - unless it was done behind my back that you asked her, you worthless sack of over-paid, over-hyped deer me--"

A knock on the door stopped Lucifer in his insult track, the familiar beat causing him to look to the door suddenly, then shrink back and try to at least feign good behavior again. He coughed, then started messing with the coffee stain on his clothes again.

"Come in," Lucifer called, the smile on his face straining.

"Oh, hey, dad! And uh..Alastor?" Charlie asked as she came in, looking like she still wasn't too sure what he wanted her to call him. "I came by because I wanted to let you both know.. the wall has finally finished being fixed!" She smiled and looked at her dad, then at Alastor in the way that said she was really, really hoping they would know which one she meant without having to come out and say it. It was a wall on the eastern side of the hotel, that the repairs of had been put off for awhile - one that had been caught in the crossfire of a 'disagreement' by the two.

His attention snagged on a splotch of red among the yellow revealed by their fellow ducks’ sudden migration. He plucked it free, turning the striped duck this way and that, head tilting at the crosshair painted dead center on its head. How quaint.

His eyes flicked back up to Lucifer, catching the tail end of his tirade as it devolved into insults. His grin stretched wider with each one, sharp teeth glinting beneath. A sickly green flame sparked to life in the hand holding the duck. He remained unblinking, smile locked in a rictus as the plastic began to melt and drip down his fingers, pooling onto the table below.

A knock at the door.

Oh, deer.

Alastor rose quickly, clasping his hands behind his back in an effort not to be caught quite literally red-handed.

“Come in.”

“Oh—hey, Dad! And, uh… Alastor?”

He turned, offering Charlie a bright, toothy grin.

“That’s great news!” he chirped, with no idea which incident she was referring to. He knew the wall, of course...that particular stretch served as collateral damage in nearly every dispute in the hotel. But as for the most recent cause of its destruction? Well, who could say.

“Mm, we really ought to reinforce it, considering how often it’s destroyed.”

He started to raise a hand as though to dismiss her concern, then caught himself. “Not a clue!” he chirped instead, already edging toward the end of the sofa where his staff waited. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry your pretty head about, my dear. But if it’ll put your mind at ease, I suppose I can go see what all the fuss is about, hm?”

Careful to keep his back turned, he leaned back just enough to retrieve his staff, slipping it neatly into his clasped hands.

That’s wonderful news, my dear! Why, I can’t wait to meet the charming fellow. Will he be he be carrying on Sharky’s little cause?

//Ha! Don't teach Alastor slang he'll start using it ironically.

That’s wonderful news, my dear! Why, I can’t wait to meet the charming fellow. Will he be he be carrying on Sharky’s little cause?