EXCUSE ME, WE’RE WHAT? husband!satoru x f!reader
AWESOME art by @hunnismokah
your husband’s students mistakenly believe you’re getting a divorce.
warnings. fluff. ooc? f!reader
A/N. this is my first post and oh my god, this is sooo fucking boring but i sat at my desk and spent three hours trying to correct everything so i hope this is enough. UGH EDHIEGQG. i really have no idea what to write so requests should be open ig…? i dont even like gojo that much so dont ask me WHY i wrote about him first… i’m absolutely sorry if it’s out of character, just tell me if it is.
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your husband is not on your side when you arrive at the jujutsu high school. that alone is enough to make the place feel slightly off. sure he is most of the time late, but ever since the two of you got together, waking up early wasn't that much of a big deal.
you make your way through the corridor, ignoring how you could hear some whispers and eyes briefly following you. normally, he's already somewhere nearby, talking loudly, leaning into your personal space. today there's none of that.
the real reason is simple and almost annoyingly satoru-like. according to satoru's story, his, yesterday's mission was so tiring that he accidentally ended up in a candy store and bought a bunch of different candies and then he spent his evening, eating those candies instead of getting rest. originally, he had planned to head straight home after finishing the mission but he failed to do that.
a sigh escaped your lips as you continued walking. then you heard another quiet but rushed step. the feeling of someone following you was already scary enough but now hearing creepy footsteps? you scanned the area behind you, there was no one so you walked faster and turned a corner. a minute later, another footstep echoes in the silent corridor but this time, you could see who it was. panda.
you stared at the big panda lying on the ground with an awkward smile. panda stared back. "..morning?"
“..morning" a quick reply and he disappeared around the corner again. your eyebrow twitched. what the hell? you thought and continued walking.
just as the weird event started to fade from your mind, you were summoned to Yaga's office so you made your way there when you caught yuji staring at the bulletin board with unusually serious expression. nobara stood next to him, whispering aggressively.
"i dont know! does she LOOK today?"
"how am i supposed to know?!"
neither of them noticed you'd stopped then you cleared your throat. both of them jumped. "sensei!" yuji shouts in horror. "what are you doing?" the teenagers exchanged nervous looks. "nothing" "absolutely nothing" no excuses came to their mind.
by lunchtime, everything somehow became even stranger. everyone seemed to be hiding something since morning which was becoming harder and harder to ignore. the constant staring and whispering were becoming increasingly annoying.
by the time lunch was over, satoru finally showed up. he looked exhausted, but more importantly, even more annoyed than you. the same look he always got whenever you hid his candies. you barely had time to react before he wrapped his arms around you from behind. "give it back" he muttered into your shoulder, voice muffled. "you can't just steal a man's candy like that"
you let out a quiet sigh "good morning to you too" he grumbles while his fingers lazily intertwine yours. "no candy?"
"no candy" your answer didn't change. "you're supposed to encourage me as my wife" he complains. "I'm not going to encourage you on getting diabetes" you argue. then he leans even closer. "at least give me a kiss?"
you dont react to it at all. you've already decided that the situation around the campus is far more important than his demand for sweets. "do you have any idea what's going on today?" you ask, tone flat. "because something is off"
the silence settles but satoru doesnt move away, just shifts slightly so he can hear you better, still holding you. "define 'off'' he says. "if you're talking about the weird looks from yuji and others..."
"yeah" he continues "i noticed that too." that gets your attention. he tilts his head, gazing at the closed door behind him as if he is replaying something in his mind. "when i made my way here earlier, it felt like something was... following me" you blink a few times "you too?"
"mm" he nods slightly, except he didn't look particularly worried. that finally confirms that you are not imagining things. satoru exhales lightly "alright, let's go see what kind of weird thing they are plotting" he opens the door leading out of the professors dining room first and immediately steps back. right in front of them, stood megumi. arms at his sides, posture straight. and his usual, irritated and grumpy expression, like he's been forced to come here and is reconsidering every life decision that led him here. he looks up at the you two. "...finally" he says annoyed
“megumiii” satoru says with an amused look, atleast one of his students is acting normal. "what are you doing here?" you step out beside your husband. "i was sent here" megumi replies. "i was asked to ask you two something clearly stupid"
"oh?" satoru narrows his eyes a little, but in a playful way. "this sounds serious." megumi exhales, clearly showing he is also affected by the entire situation already. "it's not" he remarks "at least i dont think it is" you both glance at megumi in silence.
megumi looks between you two for a second before finally asking the 'stupid' question. then he just says it, blunt and tired: "They want to know if you're getting a divorce"
the silence hits, harder than this morning, at least this morning, there was footsteps. then you slowly turn your head toward gojo meanwhile gojo's covering his mouth, shoulders shaking. he was trying not to burst into laughter, you don't laugh yet. "oh, this is going to be fun" your husband states looking at the unimpressed megumi who is probably regretting accepting to take this role.
"oh" now he's remembering. satoru slowly puts down his hands after thinking for a few more seconds. the bench, the candy bags and the phone call. your voice on the line, irritated saying "I'm so done with you!” satoru giggles again before explaining megumi how yesterday, in the evening, his wife was scolding him for buying way too many candy when he was supposed to come home early.
"panda?" megumi says and satoru continues anyway. "yeah panda and inumaki, they were walking by when i was on the call, they probably heard that part and decided that we were getting a divorce"
"..are you fucking serious" he made sure it wasn't a question. you decide not to speak because megumi's reaction was fair. the spiky haired boy runs a hand down his face, like he is trying to erase everything that he just heard. "oh my god" he mutters while sator laughed in the background. “oh my fucking god, how stupid can they be"
he walks back to the group who's hiding and failing to hide in the corner. they all run to the couple after megumi's explanation mixed with mild anger. "so this was all fake?" panda says. "like, you're not actuallyy getting divorced??" yuji blinks fast. nobara sighs "you're kidding" "no way!" yuji reacts "we were seriously worried for a second!" inumaki gives a nod.
" told you none of these made sense" megumi adds, standing apart.
"so that's what this was about" you say at last, processing the crisis and misunderstanding over candies. you're not angry, in fact, your annoyance fled away because now you know, even your students care about your marriage.
"(name) likes me too much to divorce anyway." satoru says before getting hit in the back of his head by you. "but i love her more of course-"
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p.s this is my first time writing a fanfic too, i'm cringing so hard LSHOADHOUSD
p.p.s had to rewrite everything cuz i forgot some stuffs and my tumblr keeps glitching. </3
