Just Peachy

By someone who picks you flowers on their walks just to have something to give you when they get back

Someone who brings you your favourite snacks because you've had a hard day at work

Someone who stays up later just to send you a long message to wake up and smile at

Someone who tells you to drive safely and to send a text when you get home

Yeah, it must feel good to be loved like that

You know, the way that I love you.

I hate that I never want to go to any of the places we went including the bloody supermarket just because I don't want to see you down every aisle in my memory.

I hate that you changed me and then you left. I hate that I can't get your voice out of my head. And worst of all? I hate that I can't remember all the lonely nights you put me through. I only remember how it felt to think I'd found my home in a man that never wanted me.

You live rent free in my head and I hate that I signed the lease.

You glimpse the parts of the girl you want me to be, the almost

But your soul doesn't recognize mine

Not after 100 good mornings, sleepy kisses, not after you pull me closer when we sleep side by side, your breath tickling my ear

Because I'm not just the laugh you love to hear

I'm not just the phone call you long for after a hard day, telling you I'll be home soon

I'm the crying at 4am, desperately fighting to fill the emptiness that threatens me every night, telling me it's only a matter of time until it swallows me whole

I'm the scars on my thighs, the trying on 17 different outfits before I can look in the mirror

I'm the loves you with her whole heart but that heart is tattered and bruised girl

I'm the not just the parts you want to see, tired girl

Love was being held with icy fingertips that left frostbite in the deepest parts of me

Honey-dripped words stain the walls of your house and you long for me to stay there

But I feel as though gentle souls such as yours aren't made for broken pieces like me