星海学院 学号XH0569

Noan: When I was a child, I lived in a very crowded place.

Noan: People's beds are closely adjacent to each other, and only those with good conditions have a rag curtain as a blanket, while many more people don't even have rags or beds.

Noan: When everyone is crowded in the same place, people want to show off their pride and hide it...

Noan: Or love and sex, hate and quarrels, theft, robbery, accidents, murder... Whether you want to see it or not, these things will happen before your eyes.

Noan: Mother will cry and give birth to their babies in the midst of everyone's noise, and patients will moan and die in the midst of everyone's indifference.

Noan sighed.

Noan: ...Have you ever heard of the Hedgehog's Dilemma?

Noan: Hedgehogs want to rely on each other to keep warm in winter, but they have thorns on their bodies. If they get too close, they will sting each other, and if they are far too away, they will feel cold.

Noan: The same goes for people, they need to keep a moderate distance from other people, not too far, not too close.

Noan: However, everyone living here is crowded together, with no privacy and no way to keep distance.

Noan: In this case, how can the "hedgehogs" avoid stabbing each other?

Noan: Therefore, my seniors always told me to seek common ground while reserving differences and to hide our own attitudes and goals.

Noan: In this environment, I learned not to mention things that others don't want to mention, and to ignore things that I don't want to see.

Noan: If a person is only willing to talk about a certain topic, then I will only talk about this topic with them.

Noan: If this person hid his wounds well, even if I noticed it, I should pretend I didn't see it.

He stared at me seriously as usual. By the light of fireflies, Noan's amber pupils seemed to reveal some dark emotions.

Noan: I have never been a saint who tolerates everything and has no desires. I also care about people and things that I don't want to give in to.

Noan: I just try not to show these emotions on my face-- after all, I suffered a lot because of this when I was a child.

Noan: Now, I can say these words because you also said a lot to me...

Noan: ......Exchanging and sharing can be regarding as the habits of traveling merchant.

>[(Nod)]

[Yeah]

Skk: When you first saw me during that day, you obviously wanted to say something, right?

Noan: Hm.

Skk: Can you tell me now?

Noan: It wasn't anything important, I just wanted to say...

Noan: Your hair... seems to be a little longer that the last time I saw you

>[...]

[Is that so?]

Noan: How are you doing lately? Is everything going well?

>[I'm okay]

[I also have a lot to say to you...]

Noan nodded and stared at me quietly, waiting for the next conversation--- as always.

So, just like in the past, I slowly talked about what happened recently.

Whether it is a trivial pleasure, a report document that I don't want to face, a heavy social engagement, or an investigation task that I have no clue about yet.

In addition to worries, there are also many small joyful things. I got a small gift that I had reserved for a long time, and the restaurant I frequented added new dishes that were unexpectedly delicious.

When all that can be said, the sky has turned slightly bright white.

He also listened to everything carefully and bowed his head when he feeling both happy or sad about my recent experience.

Noan: ......It's really hard to be able to take care of so many things.

Skk: ...

Although me and Noan were not very close, he happened to have witnessed my most exhausted state and accepted my negative side.

He kept these secrets silently, neither laughing at other people nor making fun of them.

When asked about him, he always said--

Noan: As long as you alive, you cannot be indifferent to everything. Of course there will be times when you feel sad and want to escape.

However, I occasionally think about it - what would he think when he hears others call me "hero"?

Skk: Noan, what do you think of me?

Noan: Huh? Why do you ask this suddenly?

Skk: (Explain roughly)

Noan: As others call you - the hero of mankind, the hope that shines like a gem, the invincible Gray Raven Commandant... something like that?

>[Then what?]

[I should not be just "someone else"]

Noan: Found me at the point of disagreement...... someone who was always willing to believe that I was on your side.

>[You've said this before.]

[You should know I'm not just asking this...]

Noan: So...... before answering this question, let me tell you a story.

Skk: Sure.

Noan: This is a comic adapted from the fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty". Unlike traditional fairy tales, the princess in this story is not blessed by a fairy.

Noan: The fairies surrounding her were all disguised by humans, but others around the princess believed she was truly blessed.

Noan: They expected her to grow into a woman who could do anything. In the eyes of others, the princess was blessed with a lot of luck and was a lucky woman.

Noan: However, how can a princess who has not been blessed by a fairy meet these excessive expectations?

Noan: She could only work hard and study day and night, abandoning all the fun that life should have.

Noan: However, what people admired was her talent and luck, and those achievements were taken for granted... No one thought that she also worked hard.

Skk: ......

Noan: Maybe this is what I see of you - so, my answer is "more than that".

Noan: More that the hero, the hope, the invincible Commandant of mankind, and more than the person who is willing to believe in me and stand by my side.

Noan: In my eyes, you are closer to... a human being. Someone who will be hurt, tired, and sad.

Noan: A someone who, even if they are bruised over and over again, is struggling for the people and things they cares about.

Noan: I like someone like this very much... In my opinion, people with weaknesses are more real, which also means that I am trusted by you, right?

Noan: Whether it is a structure or a human being, there will be times when they are overwhelmed by pain, want to cry, and want to give up.

--IF YOU CHOSE...

>[But tears can't save anyone.]

[Yes, who can be so strong that they become numb?]

Noan: Well, my mother once said this to me, and I didn't know how to answer it at that time.

Noan: If I could go back, I would definitely say to her, "But tears can't save me".

Noan: The heroes in the story will also have their own regrets, not to mention we are just mortals, don't push yourself too hard, Commandant.

--IF YOU CHOSE...

[But tears can't save anyone.]

>[Yes, but who can be so strong that they become numb?]

Noan: Well, sunflowers will bend their heads in the sunless night. This is not weakness, but proof that the heart is not numb and dry.

Noan: When you are sad, you can come to me at any time.

Noan: Then we ran away together... to a place where we could rest and cry.

Noan: I'll stay with you until you get better.

[Huh......]

>[What is the ending of that Sleeping Beauty story?]

Noan: The "Prince" in the story finally awakens the princess in the castle, allowing time to flow again after sleeping for hundreds of years.

Noan: ...The princess' time quickly returned to the "present", and just like that, she died in the arms of the other party.

Skk: .... Is this the ending?

Noan: Their time is not equal, but people outside the story can still cherish the present.

Skk: But, I still think about it...

Skk: There are many people who find it difficult to survive.

Skk: My troubles are nothing to them.

Skk: I should at least try my best to do something with my troubled time.

Noan: If you are injured, do you need to take a qualification certificate based on the depth of the wound before you are allowed to feel anything?

Noan: Even those people in the story who live in daily life and peace have a lot of troubles.

Noan: People you can't like, interpersonal relationships that are difficult to take care of, parents who can't understand each other, tedious work and houseworks...

Noan: These things are slowly wearing down the spirit and causing fatigue... If nothing happy happens, just ordinary daily life can make a person collapse.

Noan: At this time, it would be too harsh to check whether you have the qualification to be sad.

>[.....Ah]

[......]

Noan: However, I also know... you still have a lot of things you care about, so you don't want to rest at ease.

Skk: Yes, I want to take care one more step forward.

>[There is no respite from this business.]

[How can I cheer up?]

Noan: Do you have something you like? Like food, or flowers, stories, or people you like?

>[(Nod)]

[Um.]

Noan: When people work hard for this and cannot rest assuredly, they also give the other party that right to treat themselves, so...

Noan: When you are tired and in pain, you seek help from the people and things you love.

Skk: ......

--IF YOU CHOOSE...

>[Well, don't worry, I'll go find those people.]

[Can I come to you?]

Noan: ....Yeah.

He showed a somewhat lonely smile in the dawn sunshine, and then nodded slightly.

There were still many things he wanted to talk about, but before he could even open his mouth, he took back these emotions carefully and took a step away from me.

Noan: ......it's daybreak, let's go back, Commandant.

--IF YOU CHOOSE...

[Well, don't worry, I'll go find those people.]

>[Can I come to you?]

Noan: ......Of course.

Noan stood up, took a step across the distance between the two of us and leaned down again.

After waiting for an excruciatingly long 3 seconds and confirming that the person is from him would not push him away, he hugged the person in front of him tightly.

At this moment, it was as if I could hear him breathing a sigh of relief in my ears.

Noan: I'm very happy... Really, very happy.

The dawn sun pierced the clouds and cast a soft golden edge on our bodies.

[Sunrise]

>[It's dawn]

Skk: Is it time to go back?

Noan: Stay a little longer? When you go back, you can find an excuse and think of a way to fool them.

[Ok]

>[That's too much]

Noan: After some of the troubles with the machine are resolved, do you want to go somewhere farther away together?

Skk: Where to go?

Noan: Many... place I've been to before as a refugee or as a transport captain.

Noan: Ruins covered by nature, seas of flowers, strongholds with burning bonfires, rivers that have not been polluted... There are many nostalgic scenery in this devastated worlds.

Skk: Then we made an agreement.

Noan: Of course, it's a done deal.

THE END