synopsis: a night in with dazai that ends with you and him on the couch (and his fingers in you)
pairing: ada!osamu dazai x fem!colleague!reader >> word count: 1.6k
tags/warnings: established relationship, fluff, pinky promises to stay, cuddles and kisses, mentions of dazaiâs suicidality, making out, fingering, praise, dirty talk #xoxo might be ooc đŁ first dazai work
a/n: thinking ab the people dazaiâs encountered in his life who heâs likely chosen to stick around for despite his fixation on suicide and how heâs got so many people who really do care for him and oml itâs just too muchâand also fingers
Calm after the storm with Dazai.
Dazaiâs apartment is warm. Full of everything youâd need to escape from the cold outside air of wintery Yokohama, and after a long day of work thereâs no better way to escape from your responsibilities than to unwind with your sweetheart Dazai.
Along with the sound of the pot simmering creeps in the laughs of some random reality show playing on the TV with hosts that overreact to everything, put on to act as white noise. Though, neither of you could really care about what was on in the background when you had each otherâs company.
Dazai meets you out the shower, dressed down in a way only you get to see, wrapping his arms around your torso as you plate up some curry for the two of you. He laughs hard enough that you can feel his warm chest vibrating against your back when you warn him heâll be getting an elbow to the face if he doesnât back up while you're spooning up dinner from the pot, ladle in hand. Nevertheless, he tightens his hold, the tips of his fingers curling in on your stomach through the fabric of your t-shirtâand donât think he misses the shiver that runs down your spine at it, or the momentary pause in your breath, a sly smile gracing his features behind you.
âYou know Iâd gladly take a hit from you,â he hums, grinning, burying his face into your shoulder, soft lips pressing kisses to the exposed skin there.
âYouâre so strange,â you mumble, shaking your head fondly as you put down the plates and spin around in his arms.
âBut never boringâŚâ he says back in response, his tone almost melodic.
Dazai smiles. You see it all the time but thereâs something different about it when youâre alone. Something warmer, something more genuine behind it.Â
âHi, beautiful.â He says softly, dipping down to touch noses with you.
âHi, âsamuâŚâ you mumble back, lips pursed in gentle amusement as your eyes find his.
âAtsushi let me braid his bang today. Yâknow, the long one,â you giggle.
The tips of your toes are touching his knee while the two of you eat on the couch, a gentle intimacy held in such a small point of contact as you talk about your days and what happened during your time apart.
âI figured! Sânot like you could manage a braid with any other partâŚâ he replies teasingly.
âI was being descriptive!â You huff, your exasperated tone eliciting a laugh from him.
âYou knowâŚâ he starts after, taking a sip of water in between to clear his throat, Adamâs apple bobbing as he swallows. âI wanna take you to this place I used to go to,âÂ
âYeah?â âHow many places are left? âSeems like you used to go everywhere around here,â you giggle.
ââGod, retirementâs not gonna be a break, is it?â âYouâre still gonna drag me around when weâre all old and gray, huh?â You muffle out through a spoonful of rice, still grinning.
âOf course I will! Are you complaining?" He asks like heâs interrogating you, eyes ticking over your face in anticipation over your answer.
Your head shakes side to side in amusement before raising to lock eyes with him, and when he meets your gaze it feels like every worry he could ever have could never match up to the reassurance you afford him with just a look.
âNo. No, I am not.â You smile at him. âActually,â you continue, placing down your plate on the coffee table. The contact of it makes a soft clink that echoes throughout his otherwise quiet apartment.Â
âDo you promise it?â You ask, extending a pinky.
For a second, the juvenile nature of it catches him off guard. He blinks a few timesâthinks that if you were anyone else heâd have probably thought it to be a silly, go along with it just for fun, but thereâs something about your tone, the softness of your eyes, the quiet of his apartment, how your pinky waits for his like it matters, and he gets why you reached a hand out instead of only using words.
In fact, he thinks he understands why children do it even more than he ever thought about as a child when he wraps his pinky around yours, digits locking together to make something real and concrete, something that would be a foolâs errand to break.
âObviously, I will.â âEven when weâre old and gray.â
As the night draws to a close, you find yourself wrapped up in each otherâs arms, typical yet never tiring. Dirty dishes rest on the coffee table in front of the couch, the previous TV program replaced by an old, late night drama.
âWhat a great dinner!â Dazai hums contentedly, head above yours as he spoons you from behind. âCourtesy of my love, of course.â
âYouâre such a flatterer!â You huff, swatting at his arm gently.
âYou knew that when you got with meâŚâ âBut that doesnât matterâbecause when it comes to youâŚevery word is true.â
âWhat? âDonât believe me?â He teases.
ââGuess Iâll have to spend the rest of our lives proving it then,â ââŚPlenty of time.â He adds after, soft like he still canât believe himself that within the span of a few years heâs suddenly become so settled with the idea of staying alive after an entire lifetime before feeling the exact opposite.
It was slow, sure. A gradual evolution that took a lot of trust and time spent alone with his thoughts but it happened. Every kiss, every smile from you or a well known colleague, every office celebration, every holiday watching you wish for another memory to create with him like wanting his presence was as natural as breathing turns out to make a man want to stick around just another day to see what happens. Every day itâs been that, until those days become months, and suddenly, Dazaiâs lived another year.
âYouâre incredible. You know that?â He whispers.
âWhat? Just âcause of my cooking? Seems like too much praise for curry,â you reply, oblivious to the web of thoughts in his head. Responding like you didnât hold one of the biggest keys to his life, letting him cuddle you when he feels like he should be thanking you for your mere existence.
âYou donât get it, do you?â He says, low and gravely by your ear. It catches your attention. You tilt your head back just slightly to meet his face and then suddenly heâs on you. Puffy lips, swollen from the spicy curry collide with yours in a desperately messy kiss as Dazai maneuvers himself up to rest on one of the couchâs arms, pulling you with him to lay on his chest.
Pants fill the living room when you separate for air, and he laughs when he sees the looks of confusion on your face.
âWhereâd that come from?â You ask breathily.
âMade me realize I need to show you how much I fucking worship you.â
Itâs only minutes before his hand is down your pants, the other arm wrapped around your middle as he clutches you to his chest, ensuring you wonât squirm too far while his long fingers explore deep inside you, pushing in and out of your wet hole while his thumb presses down on your clit.Â
âArenât you just a darlingâŚ?â He coos as you cry out his name, gasping out as his fingers scissor inside of you.
ââSamuâŚoh..shit..!â you whimper, legs twitching as he goes back to fucking you on his hand.
âGod, I love you. Doinâ so good for me,â
A wicked grin plasters his face when he notices you holding back, bottom lip jutted out in a pout as you bit the inner skin, his free hand moving to tug gently at it to release.
ââGonna let me hear those pretty moans? âGonna let me listen to how good these fingers are makinâ you feel?â He asks, voice pleading like he isnât completely in charge.
âFuck! âSamu!â You cry when he finds that one spot inside of you, the tips of his fingers repeatedly rubbing up against it. The pleasure makes you thrash, your hips tilting up so he can get deeper, as if you werenât full enough. Your nails leave crescent marks on his forearm as your grip tightens there, trying to get a bearing on anything at all.
âOh? Whatâs this? Right here?â He hums, placing more pressure, fingers hitting at it harder.
âNeedy slut for my fingers, yeah? âCanât get yourself off like thisâŚmhmâŚI know..â
âN-noâŚI canâtâŚmmmphhh..hah!! D-doesnât feel as goodâŚnnghh..not as full..!!â
The sight of you almost has him losing focus. A woman so normally composed now finger fucked out of her mind. Your mouth hangs slightly ajar and your eyes are half-lidded, your legs move uncontrollably, and your pussy flutters around his fingers like itâs talking to him. Telling him that youâre close.
âFuck..â he grits out under his breath.
âYeah, yeah, good girl.â Dazai whispers, breath hot on your temple as he eggs you on. âCum. Cum all over my fingers.â
âNghhâŚfuck!â A moan rips from your throat as you finally gush, wet walls fluttering around his unrelenting fingers while he talks you through your orgasm.
âYeahâŚgood job, baby.â âSo proud of you.â He purrs, leaving his fingers inside while he watches your chest heave, taking in big breaths as you come down from your high, sweaty and tired after it all.
âMhmâŚâ he hums in affirmation to the way your body sinks down against his, at the fact heâs gotten you this way, content in his arms while he keeps you plugged up in the meantime.
âJust sleep, darling. I got you.â