I am here for Nanty Narking

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

My heart was heavier than the feather; I am sentenced to Rainforest Cafe

There mexico

Local BDSM Club's Awards Night and you're on the short list for Most Improved

you've just started a new cater waiter gig and the dress code doesn't have any restrictions on accessories (yet.)

Outfit that says "I am about to be the reason why they'll add a list of banned accessories to the company dress code"

BDSM Met Gala NOW!

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

Any good story needs an ending. Any good story needs an ending!! Any good story needs and ending!!! To make a point you need a period, not a comma!!!!!

anti-doomerism has actually improved the way I handle my depression. I’ll think something like “I have nothing to look forward to, everything is getting worse and it’s not getting better” and then I’ll be like “whoa, cringelord. you sound like an emo 14 year old. you’re not helping anyone or anything with that misanthropic hopeless attitude. grow the fuck up.” and I bully myself back into participating in life, because depression and the associated dark thoughts are so cringe

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

hey there just out of curiosity are you not human, too?

hilariously enough, I am probably the most human out of anyone on this entire site. earlier today I was posting about getting "species euphoria" from doing human activities like ecosystem management. I'm the worlds first therian to have a kintype that aligns with his biological species. shirt that says "I ❤️ being a sapient omnivorous primate & bipedal persistence predator" on the front and booty shorts that say "largest gluteal muscles to body size ratio on the planet"

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

reblog to put a discarded fruit sticker on the forehead of the person you reblogged from in whimsical jest

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

it's forever fucked that refusal is associated so strongly with cowardice and cowardice is almost universally uncontestedly seen as an existential failure that disqualifies you from the right to refuse anything when being able to admit that you're afraid and say "no" are some of the most powerful things that anyone can do

"why don't you want to? are you scared?" yes. is that so bad? to be afraid and unwilling? why should that be worth less? why should i hope to be the richest corpse in the graveyard?

[three seal heads seamlessly photoshopped on three scoops of ice cream in a glass bowl]

If I'm elected as your president in 2028 I promise to bring back the Western Interior Seaway.

Pretty babies come swim in w ater with big fish water is fine with big fish in come taste interior seaway with big fish

Smug face of a free man

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014