How Various Members of Site Command React to Sudden Hugs
Okay, this is by no means at complete list of who's huggable on site and who isn't, and HR would have maid-waifuless kittens if they found out I even made this list. That being said... it's a lot safer to hug some staffers than others.
First, no one on record has tried hugging Dr. Gears. But, should someone be brave or crazy enough to try it... he might get to tolerate it with repeated attempts.
Second, hugging Dr. Bright is just encouraging him to be a perv. Stick to pats on the head. On second though... just don't touch Dr. Bright.
Third, Dr. Glass gives the warmest hugs, next to Cain, 999, and 343 themselves. 10/10, highly recommend hugging him if you had a bad day.
Fourth, Dr. Iceberg. Yeah... Sadly, I think only his partner Quinn can get away with that one. Anyone else would wind up with at least a literal cold shoulder.
Clef is most likely to just ninja hug the crap out of you in retaliation if you do this to him first. My ribs still hurt from this morning's clingy ambush. More likely to happen if he's hungover.
Dr. Rights is a hugger. Do not hug unless you're free for ten minutes at least.
Do not ninja hug Dr. Gerald. He likes hugs, but... exaggerated startle responses are not fun. Approach slowly from the front once consent is given, do not squeeze.
Cain will turn terracotta red if hugged off guard. Agent Nordstrom thinks it's adorable.
It is nearly impossible to ninja hug 343. He still loves hugs, so feel free to try. Just... not with whiskey in hand. It's a sin to waste good alcohol.
Dr. Light is fond of hugs. For the record, if she really likes you, she squeezes.
Ninja hugging 999 means you sink into him a tiny bit, like jumping onto a huge Jello lump. Just don't build up too much speed. I recommend this on those really crap days.
Assuming you locate him, hugging Dr. Kondraki will have one of two results: him either shouting at you or dragging you down to the local karaoke bar to get smashed and sing 90's heavy metal off key with him. If he's already half pickled with booze first, it's the latter. There is no in between.
Dr. Shaw will also blush if hugged. It's sweet. Also gives very gentle hugs.
Dr. Myriad, however... be prepared for a rib-bruising hug in return.
Iris is not a hugger. Only family and Agent Markovich can hug her and live.
Do not attempt to hug Dr. Mann. He's not a touchy feely guy, you will be shot at.
Agent Strelnikof likes hugs, believe it or not. Bonus if the hugger is a pretty woman.
Do not hug Agent Dimitriov around 076-2, unless Abel agrees. Agent Okame was just trying to help, you didn't need to kill her, Big Brother! No GTA5 for three weeks.
There was one intern who actually hugged 294 after it produced "a perfect duplicate of my nan's hot chocolate, right down to the correct color of marshmallow Peep". The machine did seem to perform better for the rest of the day, but the test was never duplicated.
Dr. Kain Pathos-Crow is hit and miss on hugging. But... he loves a good ear scratch, like most canine lifeforms.
Dr. Cimmerian gives great hugs, at a dollar a piece. If you're good at something, never do it for free.
Hugging Agent Lombardi will get you punched. Don't.
No hugging Lieutenant Tori. She will shoot you. In the knee. With buckshot. Twice for repeat offenders.
No surprise hugs with Dr. Sherman, lest you get a lecture on consent. Best to just bring him a coffee. He's nice, just a stickler for decorum on site.
I myself welcome hugs from almost anyone except Agent O'Hare for obvious reasons, and Dr. Bright, again for obvious reasons. Just mind my teacup, please.
baratheonpilled
discoholicmusic
prguitarman
tangentwithtanner
romaincrisis
vaporwave
dailybridgerton
gracieabrams
