Soft Love Diary

A heart that had always been his

I almost dropped the cake twice.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking, and I kept glancing at the door like it might open any second. The candles were already lit, their tiny flames flickering like they knew I was anxious.

"Calm down..." I whispered to myself, exhaling slowly.

The apartment was completely dark except for the cake. I had turned off everything, lights, music, even my phone just so the moment would feel right. Because it had to be right.

It's Sylus.

Every second stretched longer than it should. I could hear my own heartbeat, loud and embarrassing, echoing in my ears.

Then the door clicked open. I froze.

Footsteps.

"Kouru?"

My breath caught. I didn't answer. Not yet. I wanted to see his face.

Another step.

Then

Click.

The lights came on.

And there he was. Standing still. Looking at me like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

For a second, I forgot everything I planned to say.

"...Happy birthday" I managed, my voice softer than I expected.

He didn't move. Didn’t smile. Just stared at me like the world had stopped.

"...You remembered" he said.

That made my chest tighten a little. "Of course I did."

I barely had time to react before he was in front of me. And then...

I was in his arms.

Tight.

Warm.

Safe.

"Sylus!" I let out a small breath, surprised, but my body melted into him anyway. He held me like I was something important. Like I mattered more than anything else in that moment.

My heart was going crazy.

"Kouru…" the way he said my name made my fingers curl slightly against his clothes. When he pulled back and looked at me… I swear I forgot how to breathe.

Then he kissed me.

Slow.

Deep.

Careful... but not hesitant.

It felt like everything he didn't say out loud was right there, pressed against my lips. I could feel it. The warmth, the gratitude, something heavier... something that made my chest ache in the best way.

When he whispered "thank you" I smiled without even realizing it.

"I'm glad you like it"

But before I could say anything else... Suddenly, I was lifted.

"Wha!! Sylus!" I laughed, instinctively wrapping my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall. He looked… different. Softer. Warmer. And that small smile on his lips?

God… I think I fell in love all over again.

"I'm not letting you go tonight" he said.

My face warmed instantly. "O-Okay..." I mumbled, trying to sound calm, but I knew he could feel my heartbeat racing against him. As he carried me down the hallway, I glanced back for a second, the cake, the gifts, the soft light we left behind.

But somehow…

None of that mattered anymore.

Because right now... I was exactly where I wanted to be.

In his arms.

Happy birthday Sylus 🎂

soft, a little aching, the kind of love that feels like it was never meant to exist but somehow does.

Being loved by Kim Dokja never felt like being chosen at first. It felt like being... noticed. Not in the loud, obvious way. Not like someone calling your name across a crowded room. But in the quiet moments, when no one else was looking.

He would remember things; The way you hesitated before speaking. The way your fingers curled slightly when you were nervous. The exact tone of your voice when you said you were "fine" and how it never really meant that.

Kim Dokja didn't say much. But he knew.

At first, it was subtle. A drink placed beside you before you realized you were thirsty. A conversation steered away before it could hurt you. A hand brushing yours, not by accident, but never staying long enough to be certain.

He loved you like someone reading a story he didn't want to disturb. Carefully. Reverently. As if one wrong move might make you disappear.

But loving him was different. Because Kim Dokja never believed he was part of a happy ending. So when you looked at him... really looked at him... he would pause. Like a character who had just realized that he wasn't supposed to be seen.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he once asked.

And you didn't answer. Because how could you explain that he felt more real than the entire world around you?

The first time he held you, it wasn't because he wanted to. It was because he thought it might be the last time.

His arms wrapped around you with quiet urgency, like someone trying to memorize the shape of something he was about to lose. You felt it then. That fear, not of death. Not of pain. But of leaving you behind.

Being loved by Kim Dokja meant understanding things he would never say. It meant knowing that every time he smiled softly at you, he was already preparing to let you go. It meant realizing that when he stood in front of you, between you and danger... he wasn’t being brave. He was being inevitable.

But you stayed. And that... changed everything.

Because for the first time, Kim Dokja hesitated. Not in battle. Not in strategy. But in choice. His eyes would linger on you longer than they should. His steps would slow when you walked beside him. His plans, perfect, calculated, merciless began to falter.

"You shouldn't stay with me" he said once, quietly. Not cold. Just… certain. As if he had already read the ending where you suffered because of him.

And yet... when you reached for his hand, he didn’t pull away.

That was how you knew. Not through grand confessions. Not through desperate promises. But through the smallest rebellion in his nature.

Kim Dokja... the man who would sacrifice everything for the world was starting to choose something else.

You.

It wasn't loud and it didn't fix him.

But in the quiet space between one disaster and the next… he would sit beside you, closer than necessary. His hand, hesitating before finally, slowly holding on.

And in that fragile, fleeting moment…

a short fics between Daichi Sawamura, Ushijima Wakatoshi and You.

-----

The gym was quieter than usual, just the faint echo of a ball bouncing somewhere in the distance. You were sitting on the bench, scrolling on your phone, waiting.

Then you heard it... two different footsteps approaching.

"Hey"

You looked up first at Daichi. He's calm, steady, but his eyes lingered on you a little longer than usual. Protective. Warm.

"Been waiting long?" he asked, voice low.

Before you could answer...

"I'll take it from here"

That voice… deeper. Firmer.

You turned, and there was Ushijima.

Standing tall, composed, but his gaze was locked on you; like you were the only thing in the room worth noticing.

The air suddenly shifted.

Daichi straightened slightly as he said "Take what from here?"

Ushijima didn't even look at him at first. His attention stayed on you.

"I told you I'd walk you home"

A pause.

Daichi let out a small breath through his nose. "Funny. don't remember you asking"

Your heart started racing.

Ushijima finally turned his head, meeting Daichi's eyes.

"I don’t need to ask"

That did it.

Daichi stepped closer. not aggressive yet, but firm. "You don't get to decide things for them"

The silence is heavy and thick

Ushijima took one step forward too. Now they were face to face, both towering, both unyielding in completely different ways.

"I'm not deciding" Ushijima said calmly. "I'm offering something better"

Daichi's jaw tightened. "And you think I can't take care of them?"

"I think" Ushijima replied, voice dropping slightly, "you hesitate" almost like a challenge.

That hit something.

Daichi's eyes sharpened. "And you think being blunt makes you better?"

"It makes me clear"

You could feel it now. the tension snapping tighter and tighter between them.

Daichi moved closer. just enough that their shoulders almost brushed.

"I've been there for them longer than you"

Ushijima didn't budge. "Time doesn't matter if you don't act"

Your name slipped from Daichi's lips, softer this time, like he was grounding himself.

"They don't need pressure"

Ushijima's voice followed, equally firm.

"They don't need uncertainty"

And suddenly their attention snapped back to you.

Both of them. Waiting. Wanting. Fighting… but holding back because of you.

Daichi exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair, trying to rein himself in.

"…Say the word" he murmured. "I'll back off"

Ushijima didn't speak, but his gaze said everything.

Choose.

The silence wrapped around you, thick and electric.

Two very different kinds of devotion standing right in front of you, one warm and steady the other intense and unwavering.