& / SOFTNESS BLED.

———————   SHE’D  LOST  COUNT.    lost track  --  of time,  of the footprints she’d originally been trailing the first time that’d led her close by.   a curious mind could be a dangerous thing,  that allison’d saw fit to wander through a place formerly unknown to her with little more than the essentials on her back was hardly safe.   but this time it’d been different.   back on the trail,  back on target until the screams had started.   not that it’d have mattered much,  but she’d tried to ignore it,  drown it out and move along because she knew the outcome of checking in...   there she stood anyways,  bothering him again.   she doubted there was little else she could do,  each action and choice she made seemed to annoy,  her presence alone enough to cause tension.   or maybe he was just always that way.  

❛  i’m not a kid.  ❜   is the only answer she gives,  brows raised indignant as she readjusts the bow strung along her back shoulder.   childhood’s long since behind her,  left in the past after the death of her mother,  responsibility shifted from one argent woman to the next now rested firmly on her.   allison’s meant to be proving her worth,  showing she’s got drive and focus...   needless to say it’s not going well.   needless to say,  her curiosity’s gotten the best of her and she doesn’t quite know how to stop it.    ears pricked up at the explanation given,  then drop.   brown eyes narrow,  shake of her head soon to follow.   ❛  it sounded a whole lot worse than just some domestic dispute.  ❜  

her frame squares as he walks through the gate,  careful to tread lightly,  careful to keep a small semblance of distance.   allison’s got enough knowledge of wolves to know the precautions,  knows better than to think she’s perfectly safe.   but that’d never stopped her before.   ❛  i don’t know why that’s so hard for you to believe.  ❜   dig rolled off her shoulders easily,  cooly  --  it’d never been about being smart.   an internal drive to protect,  groomed by a family known for keeping those who could not protect themselves from things that went bump in the night,  she’d come by it all honestly.   and she doesn’t have it in her to stifle it out.   

RULES: share four songs / pieces of music that represent your muse—or just songs that remind you of them.

TAGGED BY: @shewhotases TAGGING: ANYONE who wants to do this. :/ just say i tagged you, then tag me cause i wanna see. i’m a nosy bitch who loves muse songs. 

that didn’t sound right.  corner of a foiled wrapper caught between teeth, weight of a burrito dangling precarious and heavy, castiel rummaged through the disarray he’d left along the sofa for an absent phone until convinced.  why he’d managed to get so much done, no doubt.  no buzz to tell him practice’d been cancelled, again.  nothing to suggest a quiet afternoon had already run its course.  no disappointing contact from a parent to say their flight had landed safe and sound who - knows - where.  all catalyst for why he’d not bothered to go further.  preferred to drop down amidst his work, one leg kicked up to prop atop the other between bites and the words that jumbled in them.

“  don’t tell me you forgot about that report faraize threw out at the end of class,  ”     in a huff of frustration, all kinds of red - faced and flustered.  a man unfit for the job he stumbled through, barely able to reign in the docile ones up from, much less stop the beeline castiel’d made in spite of the hollering to come back.  out the door and down the hall before anyone’d gathered themselves enough to try and stop him.     “  thought he was gonna have a coronary in the middle of the room.  ”     his snickers cruel, smothered down by a mouthful of beans and cheese,     “  was kinda hopin’ for it.  ”

a woof from the adjoining hall and demon’d wandered in, tail a’wag, passing up the hand he’d extended, fingers snapping, in favor of lola, perched nearby.     “  traitor …  ”

she had that going for her, at least.

the flame turning all those around her into moths.  blazing with a glare that ought’ve resented the stare seated over the curve of his knee.  for the way  his  dog nosed for attention.  for how she’d thought to kick off her shoes when she entered.  more than he could’ve said for most.  even if she was full of shit, monopolizing time he’d set aside with the best his intentions ever got.  less prone to seeding uproar on his free time than people gave him credit for.  too tired.  less hungry, now, contented hum swallowed back to steal what satisfaction its birth might’ve given her.  too fond of the hostility that kept feathers rustled to make way for something else.

                                                   “  there’s a time limit for how long bribes last, yanno.  ”  

———————   IT  WAS  LESS  LIKE  FORGETTING.   more like deciding she wouldn’t worry about it until later.   most people didn’t expect exemplary work from her anyways.   always the ditz.   words slung her way that were meant to go over her head,  because lola wasn’t supposed to be smart  --  castiel’d all but said so himself,  more than once.   that she’d never really struggled with her work,  however,  was a fact she kept to herself;  words and answers came easy when you always found yourself with something to say.   she may not have always been right,  but she found no need to worry about assignments.   specifically when they came from teachers like that.   

❛  i didn’t forget,  i’m just not doing it ‘til later.  ❜   after she’s cleared her mind.   after she’s had enough of castiel’s attitude,  and gotten her fill of making sure he knows just how likable she is.    there was no harm in putting it all off,  no harm in rushing through it with a more precarious deadline  --  there was nothing like a last minute procrastination adrenaline rush,  after all.   ❛  wishing horrible medical problems on people,  how kind.  ❜   lola’d like to think he’s kidding,  that like most people,  he’d never wish harm on someone else...   and yet,  there’s reason for her to pause and question it.   question if he’s truly that cruel,  question if he’d ever said something like that about her behind her back.   as if that wasn’t a scary enough thought on its own. 

she’s left to ponder it for a moment,  mouth wrought together and dark hues settled onto glitter painted nails before her attention is snagged.   grasped.   pulled away from all thoughts & worries at the sight of a friendly,  furry face.   for such a fear-inspiring name,  demon’d never had anything but a warm greeting for her.   grin pulled wide on her face,  toothy,  child-like,  there’s no shame for the way she leans out and curls fingers into his fur.   ❛  hi cutie!   did you miss me?  ❜   already more focused on petting the dog than she is anything else,  castiel left an afterthought to her mind until he spoke again.   leave it to him to ruin a moment,  fueled by pressing her buttons and dead set on making sure she never made herself too comfortable  --  lola’d like to think it’s out of fear.   that he’s afraid he might like it too much if she did,  and if she’s honest,  she understands it.   doesn’t particularly enjoy it,  but that’s another question altogether.   ❛  is there?  ❜

it was a nice code.  in theory.  something to reach for when everything else was turning to ash and decay.  it was  nice,  but it wasn’t realistic.  the sort of pipedream that paired off with  staying together  and  keeping everyone alive.  impossible.  irrational.  why nick’s eyes rolled in spite of the nod offered to humor her.  agreeing because there wasn’t time for an argument and enough of what little there was had been spent shoving his gift into the pack already full to burst and sagging across his shoulders.  weight he was, for once, happy to heft higher.  a surety that, if all went as planned, he’d see tomorrow.  for what worth that was, he remained brazenly pessimistic.

“  weren’t you …  JUST  threatening to kill me ?  ”     mocked skepticism and another glance spared for the groans building louder.  a chorus that rose gooseflesh and curiosity in waves.  why she cared.  why she idled.  what there was to gain from acts of charity, now.  besides a knife to the back or a barrel between the eyes.  how certainty settled with passive conversation and …     “  the only danger i see around here is  YOU.  ”

a girl who stood like she knew what she was doing, packing blades and empty threats.  looking enough like a sister abandoned to keep the grin from forming.  spared in favor of thinned lips and shuffling sneakers.

“  who knows what you’d do if i got in that car,  ”     cleaner than those around it.  cleaner than  him.  out of place and discomforting.  a reminder of days not long out but distinctly in the past.  where memory fuzzied and his fingers turned numb from their newfound clench around straps snagged tighter.  crescents from nails.  blanched knuckles.  nick knew.  and, turned away, he’d seized refusal as well.     “  i don’t die.  ”     not now.  not before.  not when he’d been meant to.  not when he’d  tried  to.  not to save anyone else or prove points that weren’t worth the time to be proven, now.  until the dead overtook them all and the world dried up and crumpled underfoot —— he’d survive.  in irony and sweat cloaked skin.  painted by death.

“  don’t know if i can say the same for you though …  ”     coupled with a nod towards a figure shambling, blind to his presence, headed for a would - be - saviour and all her good intentions.  the sign that, whatever  this  was, it was over.  punctuated by a blossoming need to slink back into line.  drift away through the alley at his right.  to the next town over or …  somewhere else.     “  thanks for the water.  ”

———————   IT’S  LIKE  CONVERSING  WITH  A  BRICK  WALL.   and yet,  allison’d still not moved.   dumb,  hopeful insistence that she can help has already kept her longer than it should have,  and was now threatening to put her in danger that could’ve been altogether avoided.   one day she’d learn to stop playing savior,  especially to those who deemed themselves unwanting & unwilling to have it.   but that day wasn’t today.   fingers dragging over the material of her jacket,  brushing dirt & dust she’s not sure truly exists as she narrows in on his face once more.   now he was just being hypocritical.  

❛  weren’t you just telling me i wasn’t a real threat?  ❜   questioned curiously,  borderline filled with disbelief.   while the words had been said,  she’d not meant them,  had even gone to lengths to explain herself and yet... yet.   the insistence that allison would cause him harm is one she can’t bring herself to comprehend,  instead decides he’s simply rambling off excuses for himself.   that for whatever reason he believes himself unneeding of her aid  --  another glance over his frame & the bag on his shoulders,  and she’s willing to bet otherwise.   willing to bet he could use a good night’s sleep and the safety she and her father could provide;  willing to stick around and prove it. 

❛  so now you’re afraid of me?   not while i’m holding a knife,  but when i’m offering you help?   that’s rich.  ❜   it’s strange.   the sort of thing that has allison questioning the possibilities of what could make someone like this  --  full of pessimism,  and the insistence that despite it all he’d be fine.   that he wouldn’t die out here,  surrounded by little more than what could be described as walking death.   she hoped she never found out,  hoped she never got there herself.   that sort of outlook seemed all too bleak,  all too dark and twisted for the sort of person she’d always deemed herself to be.   if she couldn’t see the good,  find the light at the end of the tunnel,  there’d no longer be a point.  

                        her words stung  more than elena wanted to admit. it wasn’t the first time someone had said that to her. no, she had been hearing it ever since had been thrust into this world. but that didn’t make it hurt any less.          ❛          that doesn’t surprise me. you, appreciating a survival story. it makes sense. afterall, you can use it inspiration the next time your brothers  STAKE   you.          ❜            the sass was an automatic reflex, one that once she realized caused the human to tense slightly. that survival story was about to come to an end if rebekah lost her temper and SNAPPED her neck right then and there — something they both knew she wanted to do since the moment they met.          ❛          did you come here just to check my pulse? that seems more like something someone who   c a r e s   would do.          ❜