Feral Sunflower Gang

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[actively bleeding out] hold on *coughs* there's a Mountain Goats song about this..... give me my phone. let me just play it for you real *cough* quick

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

So full that i see my giant roast chicken as a man stranded on a raft with me

It's always a knight in some fuckass brigandine nowadays 🙄😒

Why are people so mean and cruel I love silliness and joy and whimsy and respect and love

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall