
blake kathryn
trying on a metaphor



#extradirty

KIROKAZE

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[YOU] and the children [YOU] ruin
pros of my job not giving me any work for the past 2 months: yaaaay art fight yaaayyy spending time with friends yaay yaaaay playing games having fun yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
cons of my job not giving me and work for the past 2 months: will i ever get to live
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hello my beautiful flowers!!!!!!!
(honorary flower pink is here too ๐ฉท)
Saw this post and couldnโt help myself jsndbcmcv
โi have to listen to my bodyโs needsโ secret boss fight written by person who has chronic and disabling wrist pain which has fundamentally changed his relationship to his hobbies and his job <- i care it as someone who has also had chronic pain in my wrist/hand for 5 years
another thing i tend to think about with this. i also just think in chapter 5 there's a theme of care and dependency. the flowers have extreme guilt over being taken care of by asgore. flowery conceptualizes himself as weak and useless. in the dark world, his fantasy, he tries to return the care given to him to asgore to "make up for" asgore taking care of him when he should've died decades ago. it's an extreme example, but i also resonate with his feeling.
when your body or mind puts you in a situation where your reliance on other people becomes really explicit, you're trained by the world to see that as shameful or to see yourself as deficient. your efforts to ignore your needs just to avoid "being a burden," will leave you worse off. you punish yourself because of deeply internalized ableism.
regardless, even by virtue of being a living thing on this planet, you are already designed to need others. you have to listen to your body's needs even against a society that teaches you you shouldn't. you have to be okay with the fact that you have needs. sometimes your needs are different or are greater than the person next to you, and all you can do is listen to your body and turn to others when you need them. you're still a person when you need people.
when toby says this:
it's interesting to me how much he uses the language of deltarune to express this feeling. your hopes and dreams slipping away, and bitterness growing is literally the explanation we get for shadow crystals (and so wept the fallen star, making rivers with its tears. then, slowly, from the bitter water, something grew. it looked like glass). this is also the crushing feeling when you lose a sense of control when you're in pain, when you can't do things the way you want, the way you used to. but when you find yourself still able to fly, you do so because you've adapted. you've listened to your body. you've learned that listening to your body means changing the pace, letting yourself be cared for, letting yourself be helped.
as far as toby's said it, having to expand his team has made deltarune a better game. chapter 5 is so expansive because so many people helped to make it. Pink's fight has sprite work from guest artists, music with Camellia, bullets programmed by Toby's team. She is, to me, a love letter to Deltarune's development process as a whole and how it has shaped Toby, and a reflection of the kinds of thoughts Toby has shared with us about developing Deltarune alongside pain. I also think it's a beautiful follow-up to Gerson's themes of storytelling and authorship (letting go of "perfection" + accepting the contributions of others = both about rescinding control and embracing perseverance). Pink is also so much more than this, but I've been thinking about this a lot.
this is great meta! it also ties really wonderfully into the more obvious theme of nostalgia and an attempt to recapture some idealized time long past, and lends additional insight to that being reinforced by the semi-metatextual return to undertale and chapter 1 of deltarune!
cant do the mutual first memory rb game because i genuinely cant remember anything. i dont know you were all my mutuals at birth. we were joined by the stars and by blogging
m,y first memory is that I Loved You and do still

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golden slumbers fill your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise
Lake Ohrid, North Macedonia
Today I woke up at 2 AM. Instead of falling back asleep my brain decided to conjure up these images which haunted my mind palace until properly expelled
One of the most important images of all time
stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

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i trust you two more than anything
i'm still wonderful