Snippets & Misadventures

Tested some new pens.

Donning and doffing station + disinfection materials off our checklist!

Cheers to these lovely ladies for making work during the pandemic bearable.

I went on a short weekend trip with friends last week and it was such a contrast to my current Saturday (virtual meetings galore + school. I want to cry). While waiting for my 2nd meeting for the day, my head is still back to that river resort.

Life updates:

- Had my first covid vaccine dose last month

- Had to leave the center because the building was being put on sale by the owner. I want to rant about how unprofessional the owners are (they gave us a month to find a new place and leave) but I don't want to remember last month's Argie. She wasn't very nice.

It was so stressful for everyone but we survived somewhat. Another new beginning.

I feel like my life has been a constant packing and unpacking the past years.

- I've also been going out now. Not on a regular but when someone says 'hey let's hang out' I don't always say 'no'.

- Massive art block still ongoing. It's been almost a year. When will it end??

Just finished a late night talk with some friends. One topic was how I would consciously and unconsciously sabotage romantic relationships (mine. Not others haha). And yeah, I do. I'm not saying I don't ever want to be in a relationship but I also don't want/need it. I'm also emotionally unstable so there's that too. That part of the conversation was funny in a different way.

Anyway here's mine.

I chose this because it was my first trip out of the country on my own. My face was full of pimples and my eyebags were heavy because I couldn't sleep for weeks due to anxiety but I did it and survived. I got lost so many times, fumbled a lot, looked weird wearing thick cardigans (my comfort clothes) when it was blazing out but I proved the inner voices that I can do it. I think empowerment starts within (as cheesy as that sounds). Empowerment means proving both your inner demons and those in the real world that, yes, I can and I will.

July 26, 2020

Said goodbye to my 'little closet' and the hospital staff. I had so many ups and downs here. Met so many people. Made many memories. Learned so much.

I was too busy packing things this afternoon that I didn't get to feel all the 'feels' until I had to remove my name plate on the clinic's door. Officially the end of a chapter.

Partially done organizing all my things left from the clinic to my new work home. After almost 2 months, I've gotten used to this place but the newness of it has yet to leave.

We had a 7-hour (2-9 pm) zoom meeting with the hospital's BOD, admin, and staff. I zoned out a lot of times especially when it came to the reports regarding the hospital's finances and ended up doing a lot of off task shenanigans off cam. I organized my pen collection, doodled a bit, did a report, ordered pizza and ate it while people were arguing about things beyond me. I was kind of productive... Just not with regards to the meeting. At least I turned off my video and was on mute, a doctor forgot to mute himself and we could hear him practice playing on his piano. He was really good though!

This reminded me of all the times pre-covid when we would end our meetings around midnight. Those 8-10 hour meetings were like hell on earth to my non-doctor/non-business minded self.

It also made me miss the hospital. I recently gave up my clinic. It took a while for me to come to that decision and even longer to finally accept that, yes, I am indeed giving up my baby. I'll miss my 'little closet' (what I affectionately call my clinic) but things must end and you just have to push forward. I am now staying at my friend's therapy center. It's not the same but I'm slowly getting into it. I now officially have workmates again!

I have yet to clear out my clinic but will eventually get to it by the end of this month. I'll miss working in a hospital.

Inktober 2016 - Drowning

Why is it like when I tell people I have an anxiety disorder, they react better (?) versus when I tell them I have depression. Let's not talk about what people's reaction to my full diagnosis because that's just... stressful.

Still out of store bought serotonin and my sleep aids. Will try again tomorrow.

Part 3 of the #the100dayproject

Last part and I'll be showing my slow descent to washi and ink hell.

Part 2 of #the100dayproject