Androgynize Me, Captain @sneakysnorlax - Tumblr Blog

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bonivers

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

trickstarbrave

#you got me

markadoo

child: why do they sell board games in bookstores

loving parent: because there's a manual in every board game

child: oh

child: why don't they sell cars in bookstores

loving parent: because when you're buying a board game, what you're really buying is the rules, and those are in the manual. a car manual with no car can't drive you, but if you have the manual to a board game you could play it without the pieces. there are people who can play a game of chess just by saying where they're moving the pieces and imagining the board, but it's very hard so they give you a board and pieces to help you.

loving parent: That's why you never see Mousetrap in bookstores. Because you can't play it with just the manual.

child: whats Mousetrap

moral: kids these days don't know about Mousetrap

fanonical

homestuck is a webcomic about being really bad at the sims

#hs

homunculus-argument

Hey idk who needs this but helpful reminder that "virgin blood" in any witchcraft shit that requires that means "virgin" in the same sense as "virgin hair" means hair that hasn't been dyed or processed in any way, natural in the default sense. So no, "virgin blood" doesn't mean blood from a virgin, just blood that hasn't been used for any other kind of witchy shit earlier.

Whether nor not someone has fucked before is completely irrelevant. Any act of fucking doesn't instantly make someone contaminated or un-magic any of their shit. You're just not supposed to re-use blood for blood magic. That's just not. Just do not. Like that's just weird who does that.

homunculus-argument

no wait that- no that's not- no.

Unles you've like, poured out ALL OF YOUR BLOOD, used it for a spell, and then somehow SIPHONED THE WHOLE THING BACK IN, that doesn't mean the blood on the inside of you is also used. And even then, if you'd had your sacrifical blood IV'd back into your body-

actually nevermind, I need to draw a graph to illustrate:

I hope this helps.

wardenaristraith

The blood inside of you is used. Constantly. It's why there is blood there.

If anything, the blood on the outside is unused.

homunculus-argument

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.

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hustlerose

standing ovation is such a good phrase. that show was so great we laid an egg

hyumjim

We can try and invent discourse as a joke all we want but nothing will compare to the real home grown takes on here such as hating landfillslop consumerism is actually Catholic

katieaki

It Happened to Me

orteil42

unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british

skopostheorie

This is ruining me I can't breathe

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iwilleatyourenglish

sorry what was that

oh okay

pjackk

back from the dead? how was your time in hell?

they just kept throwing magnets at me until I could not move

ot3

shout-out to characters who let their childhood friend situationship dictate the course of their life to a degree that spits in the face of any and all reason. they're doing important work.

mosscobblestone

hey does this shoutout apply to people who may or may not actually be like this in real life ..? asking for a friend

ot3

no sorry it's one of those things that's only enjoyable in fiction. like child soldiers or blonde men.

pjackk

your beautiful corpse keeps washing up on tumblr's shore

there is nothing good about my shit iron ass

rexhistoria

people act like this college shit is hard but i used AI to generate me a medical license and have bee ndoing surgery on newborns for 6 months

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

boywrencher

biocrafthero

contemptible-scoundrel

the most dangerous thing in the world is a man with nothing left to lose. [thinking] or maybe something to lose. maybe a lot of things to lose? [furrowing brow] or a spider. a really big spider with... poison teeth. [exceedingly pleased with myself] the most dangerous thing in the world is a big ass spider with poisonous fangs

contemptible-scoundrel

or maybe a nuclear bomb.

contemptible-scoundrel

[nodding sagely] or a tiger

the-big-heron

what about a venomous tigert

contemptible-scoundrel

😨

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