Hello, This Is Frode

And then it explodes into an argument concerning whether or not getting electrocuted is inherently, ontologically bad for you or not, because someone shared their story of how getting electroconvulsive therapy cured their depression and saved their life, and therefore OP is wrong for implying that going out of your way to get electrocuted is always wrong and bad in every situation.

Georgia O’Keeffe, from a letter to Alfred Stieglitz featured in My Faraway One: Selected Letters of Georgia O'Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz: Volume One, 1915-1933

good tags. but i want to respond directly to one thing here bc in a lot of ways it’s the crux of what im talking about. “do not let them find out later that you weren’t actually consenting.” the thing about this is that, if you verbally consent, even if you don’t mean it, you DID consent. your partner cannot read your mind. they cannot anticipate that you weren’t actually feeling it. you don’t then get to turn around and go “oh this person assaulted me because i didn’t actually consent” when you said yes and responded positively to every check in. that person did nothing wrong, you failed to communicate. when someone needs to set a boundary and doesn’t, they’re causing the harm in that situation. their failure to communicate is what is putting them in an unsafe situation.

You need to able able to express something about where you're at in the process of thinking about what's happening and how you want your partner to proceed.

On the other hand, it completely ignores the concept of coercive consent, & feels very victim blamey towards anyone who has ever experienced it & I do not want that sort of attitude on my blog.

But the fact that coercive consent hadn't arisen yet in this discussion is okay. It would also be okay if it hadn't arisen at all, because not every conversation needs to cover every aspect of and topic connected to the original topic. Sometimes you're only talking about one thing.

what does transitioning to male have to do with beating up 3 horses

well that can't be good

pavizi dcau harlivy art. these ones got a little weird

But I need y’all to understand that if someone doesn’t give you their government name in a queer space, it’s not because they’re “mysterious,” and you do not have permission to take it upon yourself to figure out their “real identity” and go digging for them online like a private investigator. First, that’s creepy and a violation of privacy and reasonable boundaries. Second, some of us keep our private and professional lives very separate because we need to keep food on the fucking table and a roof over our heads, and our private life could jeopardize that.

See— that’s part of the issue. Y’all assume someone is in the closet because they hate themselves or lack self-identity. Some of us know exactly who we are, but need to prioritize financial stability or else our entire life gets exponentially harder immediately.

There is a misnomer that “the closet” inherently means “doesn’t know they’re queer” and not “isn’t out widely and publicly.” “Outness” is often a patchwork.

Each pea makes us closer to getting bigger

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category