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💀 GOTHIC NIGHTMARES 💀

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Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic 1988

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smolnymphi

except joints

grnteathin

I can’t be the only one but...

My eating disorder is more of a mindset.

And what I mean by that is: I still eat. I eat plenty. I eat junk food and I binge. Rarely do I eat under 500 calories. Yes I am losing weight but VERY slowly.

BUT every time I eat, I fucking despise myself. I feel like a failure. All I think about is food. From the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. What am I going to eat today? If I eat this, I’m going to gain weight... but I’m going to eat it anyway and just hate myself later. My brain is telling me to starve and that I don’t have a disorder but my heart is telling me that I should just enjoy food and love myself. I am at a constant war with myself. The truth is, I SUCK at starving myself. I’m like someone who has a great idea, they just can’t execute it. And that’s how my life has always been.

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