good morning *puff*

Bilbo: Okay so just follow my instruction

Thorin: *in warrior stance*

Bilbo: First, beat the eggs

Thorin: *fist smashed the eggs*

The hug takes Bilbo completely by surprise. He hugs Thorin back before he can remember that he needs to keep him at arm's length. When he finally remembers, he just holds him tighter.

He can allow himself this. Bilbo almost saw Thorin murdered. No matter what his feelings about the dwarf were, he would never want him dead.

Thorin's arms are steadfast around him. He needs to remember that this can't be. This is already going to hurt, and every moment he delays it just makes it harder.

His hands move to Thorin's shoulders and he pushes himself away, not willing to meet those piercing blue eyes.

"You're still angry about the jest? It meant nothing, Bilbo."

"It's not funny to me, Thorin."

The dwarf king's face is solemn as he takes a step closer to Bilbo.

"I'm sorry I said it. I don't want to see you upset, Master Burglar."

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Bilbo rolls his eyes and speaks slowly. "It is not your joke that bothers me, Thorin. It is your hatred of elves." He looks at his filthy hands. ".... What if... what if I was an elf?"

"You're not an elf. You're a hobbit."

"And? If I wasn't?"

"This is ridiculous! They are our enemy. The elf wanted to stop us from leaving Rivendell!"

"Because he was worried about the damage a BLoody dragon could havoc on middle earth!" Bilbo knows his voice is getting louder, but he can't seem to stop it.

Bilbo is training with Dwalin when Thorin gets it into his mind to 'help'. Which is no help at all, thank you very much!

Thorin had washed and changed his hair, and it was maddening! Driving him to distraction. Bilbo is trying not to admire the low ponytail, which reveals the dwarf's neck, but he doesn't think he's succeeding.

He finally calls it to a halt, for he can't focus a damn bit! His mouth on Thorin's neck, that's all he can think about. Bilbo thinks about how he could reach that neck if Thorin was holding him up, if his legs were wrapped around his waist.

What he really needs is some privacy. He could slip on his ring and have a wank behind a tree. Just as he's about to make up a reason to part from Thorin and Dwalin, Thorin comes up to him.

"Your fighting is magnificent, as always Bilbo," damn that low, sultry voice, "but you seem distracted." By Yavannah, did he just lower his voice even more??

He turns around to face the persistent dwarf. How can anyone have eyes that blue? How is that fair? And Bilbo should stop looking into those eyes this instant.

When Thorin slowly reaches towards his face, Bilbo waits in anticipation. He should move away, he should not be encouraging this. A stray curl is tucked behind his ear, and by that smirk he knows the dwarf felt his shiver.

They're very elvish, but on you they look cute."

Aaaaaaand that was like getting into a cold bath.

Bilbo glares. "That's not the compliment you think it is," he seethes.

Balin: Thorin, what do you have to say to the people who doubted your success?

the microphone: how does my

entire ass taste