expansion on my southern gothic board of izzy & the dancer Vanna
@deathvallley69 hope you like this little take! and thank you a million for asking for southern gothic, i’m obsessed with this little storyline right now
VANNA’S DIARY ENTRY - mid october 1987
two months after izzy.
he didn’t tell me exactly why he was visiting- i figure he was running from something in LA, his band, a charge he mentioned by accident and refused to bring up again, his mind- something.
how he ended up here? he was riding bikes with some “friends” that lived in my area, yet i never saw em. he was strange in some ways, but as open and as clear as day in others. he let me ride on the back of his bike and in return, i took him to my daddy’s house and let him ride on my childhood horse. we swam naked in the creek and messed around so long by the time we got out, there were leeches lapping at our skin.
he asked me why i danced, i think i was the only dancer he ever cared to ask that question to- i told him that i liked how all the boys i grew up with looked at me while i was on stage- like they realized i was the prettiest thing in their life and yet they couldn’t touch me. i could see it in his eyes when i said that- he loved me or he hated me for the answer but i felt warm from the thought of both.
i slept with him for eighteen days and eighteen night, but his eyes are so damn pure and his teeth on my skin are so sharp when he mumbled certain things to me i can’t even repeat on paper, it was like he knew me more than just the eighteen days- like he’s known me for all my eighteen years and he was just now able to reach me.
izzy would tell me that he thought my “pretty face” made it feel a lot hotter here than it actually was- i’d tell him i thought it was the coke or the humidity in reality but, i liked believing his quiet words of admiration.
he fucked me like he was possessed, his kissed my mouth in a way that it was more like he was trying to live inside of it- devour me for all i am and all i could be. he held my hand in the bars like i was his little girl he was afraid to lose in a crowded store. God knows i craved that my whole life and now i’ve had it and it’s gone. i need it back.
why couldn’t i make him stay?
why couldn’t the dirty water seeping in your veins be enough to make you realize that you are meant for me iz?
i’ve written him twice since he left, the address he gave me i labeled with my kiss stains around it. i just hope my words are enough to charm a reply back from him. i wonder if he thinks of me like i think of him.
i have a dancing shift tonight, i have someone who wants to take me out- but i don’t want anyone’s eyes or hands on me if they aren’t his.
God izzy, you royally fucked me in every way, i almost hate you for it.
kisses, Vanna Mae
10/14/87
