Just A Completely Ordinary Site

Well, I don’t think I have actually written a post like that yet and I also think you may overestimate how many literal kids there are on tumblr - but since you’re handing out awards, here’s some gentle, non-judgemental info on masturbation like a good dad would offer if asked (since teens and young people deserve honest answers to make empowered choices):

Masturbation is a very common activity. It’s generally safe and healthy and it even comes with some benefits: 

it’s only you, meaning there’s no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases! 

it’s a safe way to explore your own likes and dislikes and to try out fantasies you may have, without the emotional entanglement of involving another person (yet or at all). 

it can’t break your heart. Sex with another person requires a lot of trust and communication and you shouldn’t rush into that just to try it out.

it can be a fun way to get to know your own body, and knowing your own body is important to take care of your health! Knowing what’s going on down there is a good thing. 

It’ll not ruin sex with a (future) partner. Many actually experience the opposite: getting to know your body and learning about your preferences solo actually makes sex with a partner more enjoyable and relaxed. 

It may bring physical health benefits: it’s like a mini workout after all, plus orgasms are known to be healthy for you! 

It can be a stress-relief and even helps some people sleep better. 

It can actually help you live according to your values. For example, if you’re single and do not wish to have sex outside of longterm relationships, masturbation can help satisfy your needs without sacrificing your beliefs for a one night stand. 

It allows you full flexibility without having to explain anything. You don’t like orgasms? You can just stop before you reach that point. You like to be perfectly quiet? Nobody expects you to moan if it’s only you. 

It also doesn’t really have any side effects or negative consequences in general. Ideas such as „masturbation causes mental illness“ or even „masturbation leads to blindness“ are outdated medical myths. There’s no scientific evidence for that at all and it comes from times with limited knowledge on sexual health plus very strict beliefs around „sexual purity“. Modern medicine considers masturbation a healthy activity most people do. 

Things you should keep in mind are just: 

You should wash your hands before. While you can’t give yourself STDs (unless you touched someone else’s genitalia or fluids right before), you may have other germs or irritants on your hands that you don’t want down there. Also wash your hands after, that’s just basic hygiene and respect for the next person you shake hands with. 

Masturbation doesn’t always require putting something inside of you. But if you do want to, please only use products specifically designed for that (or your fingers). Things that weren’t made for that purpose might hurt or injure you, or they could even get stuck or break off inside of you. 

If you don’t enjoy masturbation, you don’t need to do it. While it’s a great activity for many, it’s still just an activity. Just like hiking or playing cards or singing: if you don’t enjoy it, you’re not missing out on anything by not doing it. 

Lastly, I also want to address this common question: 

Masturbation doesn’t always involve pornography. Many use their own imagination or even just enjoy the touch without any (inner) movie playing. You do not need to use porn to masturbate. 

But if (and only if) porn is something you’re curious about and maybe something you’re worried about (is it unethical or weird etc), please know: 

it’s a very common thing to be curious about and it’s also something many people regularly consume. 

Know that, just as with online content of other genres, shocking or extreme content sometimes gets the most clicks. This doesn’t mean it’s representative of what most people enjoy or want in real life. 

Sex in porn is staged. It’s meant to look good, not be realistic. Be aware that it’s not a good source for sexual education. 

The problems with the porn industry are mainly problems with the industry (such as unsafe working conditions, unfair wages etc.). The ethical problem isn’t the sex itself. 

Lemme say that again: In 2013, it was expected that gay characters would be censored in children’s mass media.

Remember Korra? How she and Asami had to settle for ambiguous handholding rather than a kiss? That was fully a year after House of Hades came out. Nickelodeon said No Gays, the Children™ can’t handle that. Too risky. And people said man that stinks, but that’s how these things go in 2014 America.

Gay marriage was literally still illegal in the vast majority of US states. As of October 8th, 2013 (House of Hades release date) Gay Marriage was only a thing in thirteen fucking states. California had only legalized it that year.

Gay people were still very much on the fringes of society. It was an acceptable political position on both sides of the aisle to be against the existence and equal rights of gay people.

Nico was legitimately a landmark character in queer representation. To my knowledge, there wasn’t before an openly gay main character in a bestselling ya/middle grade fantasy fiction series. It simply was not a thing. They didn’t exist. They weren’t allowed to exist.

I remember people crying. Finally. It was a watershed moment. Kids all across the world finally got someone who represented them. It was such a big fucking deal. And it was controversial!!! Not for the reasons it is today, but because people thought gay kids having representation was inappropriate.

Is Nico’s coming out a great scene? No, these days it leaves a lot to be desired. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I’m sure Rick wishes he could change it. But the fact that’s the case is a wonderful reflection of how far we’ve come.

Let’s start with the facts as directly provided by the show:

Korra was discovered by the Order of the White Lotus at the age of four.

The OWL kept her in a compound in the Southern Water Tribe for the dual purposes of training and protection and were quite strict about keeping her under constant watch.

Korra’s parents lived outside of the compound, but Korra was still emotionally close to them.

Korra considered Naga to be her best friend; there’s no evidence that the OWL provided her with peers inside the compound or allowed her to make excursions outside to interact with anyone her age.

Now, given these facts, what kind of assumptions can be made about Korra’s background?

Given that, as per point 2, Korra’s protection is at least as important as her training, it is quite likely that she was taken to the compound as soon as it became an option.  It can therefore be assumed that Korra was either immediately taken into the OWL’s custody after her discovery or brought in immediately following the construction of the compound.  Either way, she’s likely been raised by the OWL since the age of four (per point 1).

Per point 3, the OWL kept Korra separate from her parents.  Given the size of the compound, there’s no reason her parents shouldn’t have been given living space inside the compound itself unless the OWL wanted to limit the amount of time they could spend with Korra.  In fact, given that Korra wasn’t completely cut off from her parents, allowing them to live outside the OWL’s protection creates a potential security risk that the OWL ought to have tried to avoid if possible (since it would be quite a problem if the Avatar’s closest family members were taken hostage).  Presumably, Korra’s parents don’t live with her because the OWL doesn’t want her to get too attached (which offers the further implication that the OWL might be averse to close non-familial attachments as well, limiting Katara’s ability to take a mothering role towards Korra).

Point 4 directly implies that Korra was never really allowed much in the way of close peer interactions, either.  It’s quite possible that, if all of her teachers and sparring partners were adults far outside of her age range (as was implied by her firebending test), she never had any close human friends whatsoever.  

And here’s the upshot of all that:

Korra has, for all intents and purposes, been denied consistent affection since the age of four in favor of conditional praise.

Her upbringing was, therefore, emotionally neglectful if not outright abusive (and I sure hope that the OWL didn’t treat her the same when she was five as it did during her firebending test).  The OWL might have meant well, but they had no idea how to raise a child and messed it up as badly as they possibly could given a legitimate desire to do what was best for her.

It shouldn’t be any surprise that Korra has identity issues and a need for validation as the Avatar; she learned from a very young age not to count on her parents love, and ended up filling in the hole by impressing people with her bending.  This is, as can be expected, something of a recipe for disaster in terms of raising a well-adjusted individual.

To make matters worse, the majority of the praise that Korra did get would have been in the context of violence, given that her demonstrated talents are all martial in nature.  Her life was highly controlled, except insofar as she could impress the OWL by showing up her sparring partners or use force/manipulation to get what she wanted over the OWL’s objections.  Violence would have been, essentially, the only way for Korra to define herself and take charge of her own life, which inevitably caused her need for validation to become all the more dangerous.

🔥The avatar

🔥Appa

🔥His lost uncle via a sweaty sandal

🔥A secret civilization thought to be long gone

🔥The last 2 dragons existing

🔥Katara and Sokka’s Father plus Suki

🔥Katara’s mother’s murderer

🔥His honor

🔥His entire nation’s honor

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”