i'm mrs. oh my god that smashly's shameless

This post goes around Tumblr every year, and it’s always true. There’s never been an uneventful or boring January.

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

I've seen this post before but it only just occurred to me that there might be some sort of underlying reason that "places where bears are" and "places where people name stars after bears" overlap.

Reblogging for that last comment.

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping

Honestly one of the main reasons to assume Luigi Mangione was framed by the NYPD is that the UHC shooter not only had no reason to carry around a manifesto, he had no reason to even write a manifesto. He said his piece loud and clear with the bullet casings and the monopoly money. Everyone understood it and the shooter knew that would be the case.

I mean the main reason to assume this is that the NYPD are worthless dipshits who never do any fucking work they just parasitically sponge off of the wasted money of American taxpayers like a tape worm