Small Town Beans

“i’m sorry we’re close-“ he pauses, a small smile adorning his features at the sight he hasn’t seen for a long time before him. “never mind. for you we’re always open.”

Joey’s hand fit perfectly in Buck’s larger one, just like he’d remembered. The touch alone sent a zap of lightning through his arm and mercilessly went right for his heart. Thankfully they weren’t standing just yet or Buck feared his knees would’ve given out under him. The warmth of Joey’s hand had flashback’s all the way back to when they first reunited on that one summer night. Joey’s hand had been cold and naturally her fingers had gratefully taken his warm handing as he had helped her up from the cold, dirty ground.

Much like that night, Buck’s heart was dancing to the beat of its own drum as he stood with Joey, putt several inches between them.

But, she hadn’t released his hold immediately either, and almost instinctively, he was preparing to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey.

Almost instinctively, he was prepared to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey. He wanted to caress her knuckles with his thumb and it took the remainder of his willpower not to, worried that she would pull her hand away like she had touched a flame and needed to protect her delicate skin.

“Yeah, that works. If i’m not home, you can always come by the firehouse. Everyone misses you. You’re a big part of the fire-family.” 

Ever since Jee’s birthday party, Joey’s presence was brought up every other shift Buck’s, including the topic of whether he and Jo had reconciled their relationship. It always reminded the firefighter of just how complicated his life had gotten and the extent to which his life had changed. He wasn’t the only one affected by his newly found fatherhood.

Just like that, Joey’s hand was gone far too soon as she went to the table and sat, Buck hot on her trail and lifting his little girl onto her high cheer. He made sure to bring their coffee mugs to the table, before he settled in his seat with Emilia between himself and Joey.

Buck couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like, if this was any indication of how his mornings would go with his two girls. If Joey was a permanent part of his life as well as his household. Would she wake him up if his alarm didn’t go off, shoving him to remind him that Emilia would soon arrive? Would they take turns tucking her in at night when she was staying with them? Lost in a string of thought, Buck’s gaze flicked back and forth between his child and Joey.

The firehouse... It was somewhere Joey had gone out of her way to avoid ever since their lives were flipped upside down for clear reasons and the thought of going back there had her stomach in knots. She’d wondered for so long whether any of them missed her being around. As much as Buck had been her love, they had been a family she hadn’t even realised she’d needed until they were there. Between Eddie and his habit of getting her smiling and Hen with her support and her sass, Chimney with... well, with his Chimneyness and of course Bobby... God, the thought hurt. She missed them, and yet a part of her was terrified to go and see them again. 

It was strange in so many ways how being here again, being around Buck again, could make her feel so much like herself and so out of place all at the same time. Her chest fluttered and her heart pounded just being here again, just seeing those blue eyes and his smile and wanting to desperately to just fall into his arms and be reminded what it felt like to be held by him, and yet she was aware of how much it felt like walking on eggshells. Would Taylor kick up a fuss and demand Joey not be around Emilia? Would Emilia grow to hate her? Would Buck realise she didn’t have a place in any family unit, especially one with a child that wasn’t hers? Would she even be able to have the family she wanted if Buck already had a perfect little girl sitting there, looking at her with those ridiculously blue eyes and already munching away? 

They were all hard thoughts, worries that had well and truly settled themselves into her chest and she couldn’t quite shake them off. Her world - their world - had been thrown upside down and shaken around for good measure and Joey was no longer sure what their future could look like. It had always been so clear... They’d work and follow their careers and eventually they’d be talking about a family, even about a baby. Then there could be a wedding, a child, maybe even a little house somewhere. Now? Now that wasn’t so simple or so clear. It could look like anything now. 

It could be Joey on the sidelines, as a family friend that popped by every now and then. Or it could be school plays and graduations with Emilia where Buck and Taylor sat side by side in the family seats and she sat a few rows back with the extras. It could be birthday parties she wasn’t invited to. It could be nothing at all. Or it could be everything. There was always that hope that it could still be everything and god did she ache for everything with him. She always had and regardless of how it all turned out, she was sure she always would. They were all big, huge, scary thoughts that Joey knew were jumping too far ahead when it felt so much like they were starting from the beginning all over again. 

She’s got jokes, of course she did. It’s one of the things Buck loves about her. She was small in stature, but mighty and even witty with her remarks practically since day one. “It looks good. I-uh, it suits you.” For crying out loud, why was it so hard to not sound like a fool? Was it the way that Joey’s cheeks flushed a light crimson at his words? or perhaps the way that she looked away from him, letting him know that she too was just as out of luck with the drum line of her heart… The way that he was with his own. Could she hear the shudders of his breath as he stood up?

Buck’s long legs were taking him to the kitchen in strides as he answered with his back to the two in the living room. “I’ve got plenty here.” He setup two plates and a smaller bowl, making sure to cut the waffles into pieces appropriately sized for Emilia to pick up with her plastic fork. Once he set the plates on the table, he walked back over to the girls and stood, hands on his hips. “Breakfast is ready. You can leave this stuff here to come back to it.”

Of course, Emilia was up and at it, making her way to the table, disregarding a couple of markers in need of their caps. He took the time to return them to their rightful state and looked up at Joey. “I think that’s a great idea. The wig, I mean.” He clarified and for a split second, he allowed himself to linger in a knelt position, his gaze locked on Joey’s. He hadn’t been this close to her in what felt like forever and his heart yearned to take her hand and help her up. Hold her and kiss her hair even. But, he wasn’t sure if that would complicate things or make her run for the hills being unable to come to terms with the newest addition to the picture and what his life currently looked like.

Instead, he took it down a notch or two from the longing pedestal, held his hand out and offered it to her, as Emilia grunted behind him, unable to make it onto a chair without his help. “I’ll be right there, kiddo.”

Joey was capping the marker she had in her hand as well as Buck came back over, glancing to make sure Emilia hadn’t run off with one. Content that she hadn’t, her eyes easily found Buck again, catching onto his as he looked straight at her. 

Maybe it was just a second, maybe a few moments, but it felt like a long-awaited eternity that their eyes were locked. It felt right, exactly how things were meant to be, how they were supposed to pass each and every day. It was bittersweet in a lot of ways, but she had to remind herself that this breakfast, at least before the double booking, had been one of their first steps towards getting back even a fraction of what they had. 

She was allowed to hope, even if the thought terrified her. She wasn’t sure she’d survive it all falling apart again, but she could let herself have this. She could let herself believe, even just for the moment that their eyes were locked and even the moment he was holding out his hand, that they would be okay in the long run. Whatever the future looked like, whatever they ended up being, friends or otherwise, it would be okay. She had to believe that.

Taking his hand, Joey got herself up with a small but warm smile in thanks, even ducking her head a little before she could do something as silly as peck him on the cheek. It was practically a habit by this point and took a good moment for her to remember not to now. “I’ll bring it by. Maybe I can drop it off on my way to work later in the week?” She offered, looking behind him as Emilia tried to climb up. 

“No-no, stay,” Buck didn’t care if he sounded overeager or desperate; the thought of Joey thinking that she had to go were a sack of bricks weighing down in his stomach. He could make it work. He would make it work. Emilia was a good kid, even if she was getting her way with Buck most of the time. He couldn’t say no to those pleading, ocean blue eyes and that sweet face peering up at him. A selfish part of him wanted to have them both with him, at the same time. Taylor was out of mind the second that her name was no longer the topic of discussion.

“I’ll make you that cup. D’ya want some waffles too? I think I made too many and I shouldn’t have her wired up on so much sugar if I plan to have her in bed at her bedtime. Learned that the hard way with Christopher.” Emilia wasn’t just staying for a couple of hours, Buck and Taylor agreed on her staying overnight and he would drop her off the following day around noon. Almost a full 24 hours with the little one. And Joey. Joey was there and he realized he hadn’t introduced Emilia to her properly.

Once their cups were placed on the window sill-and away from tiny fingers’ reach-he turned back to the two girls, using his coffee table as an art station. “Emilia, this is Joey. She’s…a- a good friend of daddy’s,” Buck’s eyes looked everywhere but at Joey, hoping that he didn’t catch a glimpse of pain or sadness from his choice of words. “She’s like family and she loves music and-and baking. She used to live here with me, before you were born.” He naturally knelt at the coffee table, a perfect view of both girls.

Emilia beamed up at Joey, a dimpled smile as she reached up and touched a few strands of her colored hair and that’s when Buck really allowed his eyes to wander over her. “Your hair, you colored it,” it was a statement drenched in the tone of a question and he too wanted to reach up and touch her rosey, gold hair. Get it together, Buck.

“Pretty. Can I have pink hair, daddy?” Emilia’s curiosity brought her attention back to Buck, excitement in her ivory features. “We’ll see, sweetheart. Maybe in a couple of years.” As fun as it sounded giving the kid pink hair, something tells Buck that Taylor wouldn’t be too thrilled with her dirty blonde locks being modified to match hers.

He seemed so eager... and it had Joey’s heart skipping silly little beats in her chest. It was almost like a flutter, a hint of something a little like hope. “O-Okay... Waffles would be amazing. Only if you have enough! Don’t worry if you don’t, I can grab something later.”

Bedtime, though... so that meant Emilia would be here all day. It wasn’t a problem, of course. After all, she was technically the intruder here, not Emilia, as strange as it was to think. It still felt odd being in this apartment and it no longer being her home. Her blanket wasn’t bunched up in the corner of the sofa from the nights she just couldn’t sleep until Buck got home, her slippers weren’t dotted about, one seemingly impossibly far away from the other. Her mug wasn’t on the counter waiting for coffee to fill it. Even a silly little magnet she’d bought from Thailand seemed to have disappeared, lost somewhere in the suddenness of her having to move out. Buck introducing her as his friend only sunk that uneasy, almost off-putting feeling deeper into her chest. Not his girlfriend. Just a friend. the family comment softened the blow somewhat, but it felt strange. Though, she could forgive him that in a lot of ways, not least because they technically were just friends at that moment, and because she doubted he wanted to complicate things in the little girl’s mind. It was all understandable and she would agree with a lot of it, but it still felt wrong. Yet, her carefully schooled expression stayed and she was turning her attention back on Emilia when that little hand seemed to catch onto a few strands of her hair.

“I... I did. Well, the hairdresser did,” Joey admitted, looking between her and Buck. Her cheeks felt a little warm, very possibly flushed, but she tried not to draw attention to it even if her chest was giving a little flutter. Did he like it? Did it truly matter if he didn’t? 

“wait, what?” startled, haneul’s eyes widen as guilt sinks in. “oh, my god. i’m so sorry!” he scrambles to gather up his things. it’s not uncommon for him to get lost in his work. “i didn’t mean to hold you up like this. i’ll make sure to keep an eye on the time next time.”

charlie doesn’t want to be a bother. he’s just found the shop to be a calming place to work tonight and he’d been on quiet the ‘roll’ as some would say that he’d lost track of time. still it wouldn’t be fair for him to keep noa later if the other needed to go home for some reason. “are you sure?” he asks, wanting to be positive that his presence isn’t some kind of distraction for the other while he’s trying to close on up for the afternoon. still, noa’s words make him smile and he nods a bit to the offer of some cake and coffee. “i will pay for it though. if you’re going to let me sit here to work i should at least pay.” it is the least he could do for noa, after all. 

His brain stopped working in those seconds-minutes? hours?-with the way that his name sounded coming from her lips, and all that he could do was hope that she wouldn’t make note of the batter on his sleeve from the waffles, or his godawful breath. Sure, she’d experienced it first hand when they started dating and even when they lived together, but for some reason and despite their past, Buck found himself feeling like it was the first time she found him in such a state.

Nevertheless, it clicked for him that she was probably confused and in need of a reassurance. “No-no, I forgot that I had daddy duty today. Come in, come in.” He stepped aside, mentally kicking himself for being so clumsy with his memory and hoping that he wasn’t making Joey uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the first time Joey was in the same vicinity as his kid, but it was the first time she would be around her for more than 10 minutes and Buck knew that her existence came with a reminder of his past and the things he’d done and just how much it had caused his entire life to change - his, Joey’s and Taylor’s for that matter.

He closed the door after Joey’s small frame cautiously took his offer and he blew out a breath he hadn’t realized was caged in his chest. “I’m just gonna grab my toothbrush real quick. But you can help yourself to some coffee and waffles, if you’d like.” Before Joey could answer, the towering man hauled over to the lower-level bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, lathering it with a stripe of red white and blue before he was sticking it in his mouth.

Once he was sure he’d gotten rid of the stench of the last 48 hours, drinks and his choice of buffalo plant-based tenders, he joined Joey and Emilia in the open layout of his kitchen slash living room. He took note of Emilia looking up at Joey with curious blue hues. He always said her eyes were like two stars, sparkling and taking the world around her in. “Hi,” the toddler waved and pointed a marker at Joey, a red streak on the back of Joey’s hand, product of Emilia waving the marker for Joey to take, an invitation from the child.

“Sorry about that. I completely forgot I had Emilia today. I-I hope that you don’t mind. Taylor’s working an overnight coverage of the grand opening of the new medical center. She’s trying to help rally up donations and help.” Again, Buck mentally kicked himself but this time it was for speaking of Taylor. He and Joey had been working on their friendship, but no matter how many times she said it was in the past, Buck knew it was still a sour topic for Joey.

“Did you want a cup of coffee?” He asked, and it was more-so his way of wondering if she was staying after all.

Though Joey wasn’t entirely sure whether Buck would want her to stay for long, she found herself accepting the invitation in regardless. Buck quickly running off, however, was a bit of a whirlwind she hadn’t expected. But... well, Joey was Joey and she was never going to be rude or mean even if it was a little awkward being left with the toddler. So she was smiling at her anyway, giving a little wave as they waited, even moving a little closer when she was showing her the markers and, apparently, handing her one. She took the red one gently just as Buck was coming back, looking up at him with a smile and a shake of her head.

“It’s okay, really. These things happen.” She responded. If the mention of Taylor bothered her, she didn’t let it show. She looked back at Emilia with a soft “Hi- Oh! You want me to draw?” She crouched a little to get down to the level of the paper, looking up at Buck at his offer for coffee, the mark on her hand not at all bothering her. She even set her bag aside, for now. 

“Coffee would be lovely. But... If you want me to go, I can go after that. I know time with this little one is precious, we can always rearrange for another time.” Again, any disappointment she would feel would be well hidden, tucked away to be dealt with away from this situation. As good as it felt to be around Buck, she was also painfully aware of how fragile it also felt in a lot of ways. 

buckjo | double-booked @smalltownbeans

Buck was punctual, most of the time. He was most certainly punctual with the exchange schedule he and Taylor had come up with to divide Emilia’s responsibilities without the conflict of either of their unprecedented work fields. But, today hadn’t happened the way that the firefighter and his ex girlfriend had planned all those weeks ago.

He’d gotten in from a late shift and had barely made it to bed when his vision turned to a seducing darkness, his mattress being his mistress, and he was out cold. It was something that Taylor pointed out with a chuckle when she dropped their toddler off. “Didn’t even make it to sweats this time, Buckley.” She remarked for a moment before she was tapping a finger to their daughters nose and reminding her to be good for her dad.

And Taylor was right, he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet, but that made him scrunch his face momentarily and roll his eyes lightly, fighting back a smirk because he wouldn’t dare submit his ex and their daughter to his morning breath.

Buck had gotten as far as cooking up a couple of waffles and brewing a fresh cup of coffee, he was currently working on cutting some strawberries up, when he heard a couple of taps on the door. Had Taylor forgotten something? He still hadn’t brushed his teeth, not wanting to leave Emilia alone for too long, so instead of asking who it was, his instinct was to open the door.

“Joey,” he breathed out, and it dawned on him that he had invited her over for coffee and breakfast at his place. When her eyes took him in, he remembered that he stood clad in an apron, the same clothes and morning breath. He really had to brush his teeth.

Was Joey functioning on barely three hours of sleep? Maybe. Had she spent longer than that trying to find something to wear and to make herself look presentable? Possibly. Was it all because she was a weird mixture of worried and excited and just plain nervous? Absolutely. 

She wasn’t sure when in their separation, or even their reuniting, she’d started to feel quite as nervous and giddy as she did when they first met, but it had happened and she found herself a little shaky as she hopped out of Noa’s car and walked up to Buck’s apartment. She would’ve driven herself if she’d trusted herself to focus on the road enough. But that was all thoughts for the past when she stopped in front of the door, knocked, and it was opening just moments later. 

Buck in the state he was wasn’t an unusual sight for her - they’d lived together after all - but something about seeing it like this had her breath catching and butterflies taking flight in her stomach. God, she missed it... Even in her newly dyed hair and a painstakingly picked outfit, she desperately missed mornings where they’d walk around in pyjamas or whatever clothes they’d collapsed in and just cook or mess around or just drink coffee silently but with each others company... It felt like a world away, but there was an inkling of hope that maybe they could have it again. 

it was rare for charlie to come by in the afternoon. he almost always only stops by the shop in the morning to grab some coffee. yet today it was just - it was one of those days. a day where it felt way to long and way to tiring so he’d wandered over. being around noa makes things better, at least it always seems to, so he’d settled down in a corner with same papers and a coffee to do some grading - and it seems he didn’t realize how much time had passed until noa points it out. he sips his drink one last time before putting it down. “ah - apologies.” charie nods his head at noa. “you must want to get home though. i’ll leave so you can close up.”

to; all

“Hm? Oh, yeah. We closed like, half hour ago but take your time,” Noa smiled, popping another chip in his mouth as he leaned against the counter of his coffee shop, “You seemed like you were pretty engrossed in whatever you were doing. Do you want another drink?”

info: hansoo. 27. professional dom. he’s never brought his kinks into his personal relationship before but your muse (boyfriend/partner) just called him a title (sir/master/daddy/etc) and he’s pretty amused by it.

hansoo raises an eyebrow, looking over at the other with a bit of a smirk on his features, “excuse me?” he asks, tilting his head. “when did you learn to call me that?” not that he’s against it, he’s pretty far for it actually, “no, better yet, where did you learn to call me that baby?”

@smalltownbeans

“you don’t want me to dredge up any of that shit trust me.” alexander tries to seem uninterested and not annoyed at being asked the millionth question today. “none of it’s interesting in the slightest.”

“Wy…” Wonjoon paused and sighed the little nickname out with a small, sad, warm little smile. And he let himself be stupid again because he was kind of tired of not letting himself be a little carefree for the first time in two years. Wyatt always had this was of making him act.. in a way Father would’ve been annoyed by. Not calculating, not ‘like the future Alpha’ but just… like.. Wonjoon.. It was nice getting to be thoughtless and thoughtful like that again.

“I’m gonna pick out two things tonight but” He tapped around the screen and ordered, setting it down in favour of wrapping both arms around Wyatts one still devastatingly firm arm, and nuzzled against the older’s temple. “You’ve gotta stop… thinking you owe me every little thing. And I know that… all of this will be hard. And I know that brain of yours will make you think otherwise but.. you don’t owe me every little thing. You do owe me is communicating, and understanding, and honesty if we’re gonna make this.. us really work this time around. That’s the least you can do. Telling yourself you have to give me the choice, that you owe me every which way is… I don’t think it’s healthy, Wy. You deserve better than that, than having every turn be a chance to remind yourself of your guilt… Y..” He sighed a gentle, smiling sigh, taking a hand away to cup the other’s cheek. “You’re allowed to heal, Wyatt. If nothing else, I want that for.. and from you, ‘kay?”

Healing... could Wyatt ever really heal? Because it wasnt just this, was it? It wasn’t just ruining them that he had to heal from. It was a lifetime of moving and never making roots or friends or relationships... It was looking after his father every day of his life, nursing a grown man back to being sober even as a child barely old enough to cook for himself. It was scurrying through dark parking lots late at night getting from the store to the latest dodgy motel or hotel room, desperate not to get noticed by any of the not-so-pleasant looking people hanging around. It was his life, and it was all he’d known and it was just one of many reasons that Wyatt might never stop believing that Joon deserved so much better. It wasn’t even just about finances. It was about pride, and not being with someone so desperately broken that he was never sure one day to the next whether he could support Joon or need support that he would never, in a million years, ask for. He’d rather curl himself up alone until the moment passed. 

And wasn’t that one of the key reasons they’d broken down that first time?