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@smalltownbeans
category is: yoongi being cute

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svnsorsvnsâ:
âiâm sorry weâre close-â he pauses, a small smile adorning his features at the sight he hasnât seen for a long time before him. ânever mind. for you weâre always open.â
Jesper had been riddled with nerves since the moment he stepped off the plane after what felt like forever away from home. Should he have gone home first? Or at least dropped off his battered little suitcase off before heading here? The answers were probably resounding yesses, but his need to see the other was too great... And so heâd hopped in a cab straight from the airport and here he was, stood there with his eyes on the man before him. He was just relieved he hadnât missed him. Heâd wanted it to be empty, to avoid stumbling and stuttering his way through a reunion with customers everywhere, but turning up after close had been risky. Yet, here he was and there he was and- âAre you sure? I could go get back on the plane and try again during opening hours...â
evan-buckley118â:
Joeyâs hand fit perfectly in Buckâs larger one, just like heâd remembered. The touch alone sent a zap of lightning through his arm and mercilessly went right for his heart. Thankfully they werenât standing just yet or Buck feared his knees wouldâve given out under him. The warmth of Joeyâs hand had flashbackâs all the way back to when they first reunited on that one summer night. Joeyâs hand had been cold and naturally her fingers had gratefully taken his warm handing as he had helped her up from the cold, dirty ground.
Much like that night, Buckâs heart was dancing to the beat of its own drum as he stood with Joey, putt several inches between them.
But, she hadnât released his hold immediately either, and almost instinctively, he was preparing to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey.
Almost instinctively, he was prepared to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey. He wanted to caress her knuckles with his thumb and it took the remainder of his willpower not to, worried that she would pull her hand away like she had touched a flame and needed to protect her delicate skin.
âYeah, that works. If iâm not home, you can always come by the firehouse. Everyone misses you. Youâre a big part of the fire-family.âÂ
Ever since Jeeâs birthday party, Joeyâs presence was brought up every other shift Buckâs, including the topic of whether he and Jo had reconciled their relationship. It always reminded the firefighter of just how complicated his life had gotten and the extent to which his life had changed. He wasnât the only one affected by his newly found fatherhood.
Just like that, Joeyâs hand was gone far too soon as she went to the table and sat, Buck hot on her trail and lifting his little girl onto her high cheer. He made sure to bring their coffee mugs to the table, before he settled in his seat with Emilia between himself and Joey.
Buck couldnât help but wonder what it would be like, if this was any indication of how his mornings would go with his two girls. If Joey was a permanent part of his life as well as his household. Would she wake him up if his alarm didnât go off, shoving him to remind him that Emilia would soon arrive? Would they take turns tucking her in at night when she was staying with them? Lost in a string of thought, Buckâs gaze flicked back and forth between his child and Joey.
The firehouse... It was somewhere Joey had gone out of her way to avoid ever since their lives were flipped upside down for clear reasons and the thought of going back there had her stomach in knots. Sheâd wondered for so long whether any of them missed her being around. As much as Buck had been her love, they had been a family she hadnât even realised sheâd needed until they were there. Between Eddie and his habit of getting her smiling and Hen with her support and her sass, Chimney with... well, with his Chimneyness and of course Bobby... God, the thought hurt. She missed them, and yet a part of her was terrified to go and see them again.Â
It was strange in so many ways how being here again, being around Buck again, could make her feel so much like herself and so out of place all at the same time. Her chest fluttered and her heart pounded just being here again, just seeing those blue eyes and his smile and wanting to desperately to just fall into his arms and be reminded what it felt like to be held by him, and yet she was aware of how much it felt like walking on eggshells. Would Taylor kick up a fuss and demand Joey not be around Emilia? Would Emilia grow to hate her? Would Buck realise she didnât have a place in any family unit, especially one with a child that wasnât hers? Would she even be able to have the family she wanted if Buck already had a perfect little girl sitting there, looking at her with those ridiculously blue eyes and already munching away?Â
They were all hard thoughts, worries that had well and truly settled themselves into her chest and she couldnât quite shake them off. Her world - their world - had been thrown upside down and shaken around for good measure and Joey was no longer sure what their future could look like. It had always been so clear... Theyâd work and follow their careers and eventually theyâd be talking about a family, even about a baby. Then there could be a wedding, a child, maybe even a little house somewhere. Now? Now that wasnât so simple or so clear. It could look like anything now.Â
It could be Joey on the sidelines, as a family friend that popped by every now and then. Or it could be school plays and graduations with Emilia where Buck and Taylor sat side by side in the family seats and she sat a few rows back with the extras. It could be birthday parties she wasnât invited to. It could be nothing at all. Or it could be everything. There was always that hope that it could still be everything and god did she ache for everything with him. She always had and regardless of how it all turned out, she was sure she always would. They were all big, huge, scary thoughts that Joey knew were jumping too far ahead when it felt so much like they were starting from the beginning all over again.Â
âIâll keep that in mind. Worst case scenario, Maddie is trying to get me to meet for lunch so I could always give them to her to give to Chimney. Whatever works best,â She offered, settling down and giving a tiny clear of her throat to shake off everything weighing at her. A sip of her coffee helped a little more, and a bite of the waffles did too. She glanced between Emilia and Buck, her cheeks flushing somewhat when she caught his gaze. âSo... So what plans for the day have I interrupted?â She found herself asking, trying to distract from the sudden need to reach out for his hand or even just nudge him under the table.... Or to throw caution to the wind and kiss him on his stupid mouth. Thankfully, she had a little more self control than she typically gave herself credit for and she stayed well and truly seated.Â
evan-buckley118â:
Sheâs got jokes, of course she did. Itâs one of the things Buck loves about her. She was small in stature, but mighty and even witty with her remarks practically since day one. âIt looks good. I-uh, it suits you.â For crying out loud, why was it so hard to not sound like a fool? Was it the way that Joeyâs cheeks flushed a light crimson at his words? or perhaps the way that she looked away from him, letting him know that she too was just as out of luck with the drum line of her heart⌠The way that he was with his own. Could she hear the shudders of his breath as he stood up?
Buckâs long legs were taking him to the kitchen in strides as he answered with his back to the two in the living room. âIâve got plenty here.â He setup two plates and a smaller bowl, making sure to cut the waffles into pieces appropriately sized for Emilia to pick up with her plastic fork. Once he set the plates on the table, he walked back over to the girls and stood, hands on his hips. âBreakfast is ready. You can leave this stuff here to come back to it.â
Of course, Emilia was up and at it, making her way to the table, disregarding a couple of markers in need of their caps. He took the time to return them to their rightful state and looked up at Joey. âI think thatâs a great idea. The wig, I mean.â He clarified and for a split second, he allowed himself to linger in a knelt position, his gaze locked on Joeyâs. He hadnât been this close to her in what felt like forever and his heart yearned to take her hand and help her up. Hold her and kiss her hair even. But, he wasnât sure if that would complicate things or make her run for the hills being unable to come to terms with the newest addition to the picture and what his life currently looked like.
Instead, he took it down a notch or two from the longing pedestal, held his hand out and offered it to her, as Emilia grunted behind him, unable to make it onto a chair without his help. âIâll be right there, kiddo.â
Joey was capping the marker she had in her hand as well as Buck came back over, glancing to make sure Emilia hadnât run off with one. Content that she hadnât, her eyes easily found Buck again, catching onto his as he looked straight at her.Â
Maybe it was just a second, maybe a few moments, but it felt like a long-awaited eternity that their eyes were locked. It felt right, exactly how things were meant to be, how they were supposed to pass each and every day. It was bittersweet in a lot of ways, but she had to remind herself that this breakfast, at least before the double booking, had been one of their first steps towards getting back even a fraction of what they had.Â
She was allowed to hope, even if the thought terrified her. She wasnât sure sheâd survive it all falling apart again, but she could let herself have this. She could let herself believe, even just for the moment that their eyes were locked and even the moment he was holding out his hand, that they would be okay in the long run. Whatever the future looked like, whatever they ended up being, friends or otherwise, it would be okay. She had to believe that.
Taking his hand, Joey got herself up with a small but warm smile in thanks, even ducking her head a little before she could do something as silly as peck him on the cheek. It was practically a habit by this point and took a good moment for her to remember not to now. âIâll bring it by. Maybe I can drop it off on my way to work later in the week?â She offered, looking behind him as Emilia tried to climb up.Â
Her hand lingered, not wanting to let go but she knew she had to, if only so she could fill her stomach with those delicious smelling waffles and a good cup of coffee, âItâs an old one but still in pretty good condition so sheâs welcome to keep it. I might have an old party blue one, if you like. If thatâs okay with you and her mom of course,â She offered, finally though reluctantly releasing his hand and starting towards the table so Buck could help the little girl and she could take a seat herself.
evan-buckley118â:
âNo-no, stay,â Buck didnât care if he sounded overeager or desperate; the thought of Joey thinking that she had to go were a sack of bricks weighing down in his stomach. He could make it work. He would make it work. Emilia was a good kid, even if she was getting her way with Buck most of the time. He couldnât say no to those pleading, ocean blue eyes and that sweet face peering up at him. A selfish part of him wanted to have them both with him, at the same time. Taylor was out of mind the second that her name was no longer the topic of discussion.
âIâll make you that cup. Dâya want some waffles too? I think I made too many and I shouldnât have her wired up on so much sugar if I plan to have her in bed at her bedtime. Learned that the hard way with Christopher.â Emilia wasnât just staying for a couple of hours, Buck and Taylor agreed on her staying overnight and he would drop her off the following day around noon. Almost a full 24 hours with the little one. And Joey. Joey was there and he realized he hadnât introduced Emilia to her properly.
Once their cups were placed on the window sill-and away from tiny fingersâ reach-he turned back to the two girls, using his coffee table as an art station. âEmilia, this is Joey. SheâsâŚa- a good friend of daddyâs,â Buckâs eyes looked everywhere but at Joey, hoping that he didnât catch a glimpse of pain or sadness from his choice of words. âSheâs like family and she loves music and-and baking. She used to live here with me, before you were born.â He naturally knelt at the coffee table, a perfect view of both girls.
Emilia beamed up at Joey, a dimpled smile as she reached up and touched a few strands of her colored hair and thatâs when Buck really allowed his eyes to wander over her. âYour hair, you colored it,â it was a statement drenched in the tone of a question and he too wanted to reach up and touch her rosey, gold hair. Get it together, Buck.
âPretty. Can I have pink hair, daddy?â Emiliaâs curiosity brought her attention back to Buck, excitement in her ivory features. âWeâll see, sweetheart. Maybe in a couple of years.â As fun as it sounded giving the kid pink hair, something tells Buck that Taylor wouldnât be too thrilled with her dirty blonde locks being modified to match hers.
He seemed so eager... and it had Joeyâs heart skipping silly little beats in her chest. It was almost like a flutter, a hint of something a little like hope. âO-Okay... Waffles would be amazing. Only if you have enough! Donât worry if you donât, I can grab something later.â
Bedtime, though... so that meant Emilia would be here all day. It wasnât a problem, of course. After all, she was technically the intruder here, not Emilia, as strange as it was to think. It still felt odd being in this apartment and it no longer being her home. Her blanket wasnât bunched up in the corner of the sofa from the nights she just couldnât sleep until Buck got home, her slippers werenât dotted about, one seemingly impossibly far away from the other. Her mug wasnât on the counter waiting for coffee to fill it. Even a silly little magnet sheâd bought from Thailand seemed to have disappeared, lost somewhere in the suddenness of her having to move out. Buck introducing her as his friend only sunk that uneasy, almost off-putting feeling deeper into her chest. Not his girlfriend. Just a friend. the family comment softened the blow somewhat, but it felt strange. Though, she could forgive him that in a lot of ways, not least because they technically were just friends at that moment, and because she doubted he wanted to complicate things in the little girlâs mind. It was all understandable and she would agree with a lot of it, but it still felt wrong. Yet, her carefully schooled expression stayed and she was turning her attention back on Emilia when that little hand seemed to catch onto a few strands of her hair.
âI... I did. Well, the hairdresser did,â Joey admitted, looking between her and Buck. Her cheeks felt a little warm, very possibly flushed, but she tried not to draw attention to it even if her chest was giving a little flutter. Did he like it? Did it truly matter if he didnât?Â
âI... I had blonde before, just like you,â She explained to Emilia, motioning to the little girlâs head, still a little uneasy with reaching out just yet. To say she was tiptoeing was putting it lightly, âBut I think I might have a pink wig at home. Maybe I could bring it by for your Daddy next time I see him and you can try it on?â She looked up at Buck, then to Emilia and back again.

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nocturnalpicturesâ:
âwait, what?â startled, haneulâs eyes widen as guilt sinks in. âoh, my god. iâm so sorry!â he scrambles to gather up his things. itâs not uncommon for him to get lost in his work. âi didnât mean to hold you up like this. iâll make sure to keep an eye on the time next time.â
âHuh?â Noa started, blinking at Hanuelâs sudden panic. It took his brain a good moment to catch up, before he was straightening up and immediately shaking his head. âNo! No, you donât have to go, really. You can stick around for as long as you like. I just-â He swallowed a little, clearing his throat, âI donât have anywhere to be anyway. I just thought you might want another coffee.âÂ
svnsorsvnsâ:
charlie doesnât want to be a bother. heâs just found the shop to be a calming place to work tonight and heâd been on quiet the ârollâ as some would say that heâd lost track of time. still it wouldnât be fair for him to keep noa later if the other needed to go home for some reason. âare you sure?â he asks, wanting to be positive that his presence isnât some kind of distraction for the other while heâs trying to close on up for the afternoon. still, noaâs words make him smile and he nods a bit to the offer of some cake and coffee. âi will pay for it though. if youâre going to let me sit here to work i should at least pay.â it is the least he could do for noa, after all.Â
âOf course Iâm sure,â Noa replied with a tilt of his head, already moving to fire up the coffee machine again. He quite fancied one himself... He set the chips aside for now, focusing on making the drinks, âAnd donât be silly. Youâre not paying me a damn thing. Youâre a guest and this place is technically closed so I donât need to, nor will I take any money from you.â He shrugged, looking over the leftover cakes, âI think the vanilla or the caramel will probably be the freshest. Unless you want the carrot cake... Luca made all three so theyâll be pretty damn good either way.âÂ
evan-buckley118â:
His brain stopped working in those seconds-minutes? hours?-with the way that his name sounded coming from her lips, and all that he could do was hope that she wouldnât make note of the batter on his sleeve from the waffles, or his godawful breath. Sure, sheâd experienced it first hand when they started dating and even when they lived together, but for some reason and despite their past, Buck found himself feeling like it was the first time she found him in such a state.
Nevertheless, it clicked for him that she was probably confused and in need of a reassurance. âNo-no, I forgot that I had daddy duty today. Come in, come in.â He stepped aside, mentally kicking himself for being so clumsy with his memory and hoping that he wasnât making Joey uncomfortable.
It wasnât the first time Joey was in the same vicinity as his kid, but it was the first time she would be around her for more than 10 minutes and Buck knew that her existence came with a reminder of his past and the things heâd done and just how much it had caused his entire life to change - his, Joeyâs and Taylorâs for that matter.
He closed the door after Joeyâs small frame cautiously took his offer and he blew out a breath he hadnât realized was caged in his chest. âIâm just gonna grab my toothbrush real quick. But you can help yourself to some coffee and waffles, if youâd like.â Before Joey could answer, the towering man hauled over to the lower-level bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, lathering it with a stripe of red white and blue before he was sticking it in his mouth.
Once he was sure heâd gotten rid of the stench of the last 48 hours, drinks and his choice of buffalo plant-based tenders, he joined Joey and Emilia in the open layout of his kitchen slash living room. He took note of Emilia looking up at Joey with curious blue hues. He always said her eyes were like two stars, sparkling and taking the world around her in. âHi,â the toddler waved and pointed a marker at Joey, a red streak on the back of Joeyâs hand, product of Emilia waving the marker for Joey to take, an invitation from the child.
âSorry about that. I completely forgot I had Emilia today. I-I hope that you donât mind. Taylorâs working an overnight coverage of the grand opening of the new medical center. Sheâs trying to help rally up donations and help.â Again, Buck mentally kicked himself but this time it was for speaking of Taylor. He and Joey had been working on their friendship, but no matter how many times she said it was in the past, Buck knew it was still a sour topic for Joey.
âDid you want a cup of coffee?â He asked, and it was more-so his way of wondering if she was staying after all.
Though Joey wasnât entirely sure whether Buck would want her to stay for long, she found herself accepting the invitation in regardless. Buck quickly running off, however, was a bit of a whirlwind she hadnât expected. But... well, Joey was Joey and she was never going to be rude or mean even if it was a little awkward being left with the toddler. So she was smiling at her anyway, giving a little wave as they waited, even moving a little closer when she was showing her the markers and, apparently, handing her one. She took the red one gently just as Buck was coming back, looking up at him with a smile and a shake of her head.
âItâs okay, really. These things happen.â She responded. If the mention of Taylor bothered her, she didnât let it show. She looked back at Emilia with a soft âHi- Oh! You want me to draw?â She crouched a little to get down to the level of the paper, looking up at Buck at his offer for coffee, the mark on her hand not at all bothering her. She even set her bag aside, for now.Â
âCoffee would be lovely. But... If you want me to go, I can go after that. I know time with this little one is precious, we can always rearrange for another time.â Again, any disappointment she would feel would be well hidden, tucked away to be dealt with away from this situation. As good as it felt to be around Buck, she was also painfully aware of how fragile it also felt in a lot of ways.Â
Glancing at the paper again, then to Emilia, she swallowed down a nervous lump in her throat and shifted slightly to adjust her crouch, âWhat are we drawing?â She asked, tucking her hair from one shoulder over to the other to keep it out of the way. Again, she was looking up at Buck next, awaiting his answer. She didnât want to leave, not really, though a small part of her wondered whether it would be for the best or even whether Taylor knew she would be there... If she was okay with Joey being here.Â
evan-buckley118â:
buckjo | double-booked @smalltownbeans
Buck was punctual, most of the time. He was most certainly punctual with the exchange schedule he and Taylor had come up with to divide Emiliaâs responsibilities without the conflict of either of their unprecedented work fields. But, today hadnât happened the way that the firefighter and his ex girlfriend had planned all those weeks ago.
Heâd gotten in from a late shift and had barely made it to bed when his vision turned to a seducing darkness, his mattress being his mistress, and he was out cold. It was something that Taylor pointed out with a chuckle when she dropped their toddler off. âDidnât even make it to sweats this time, Buckley.â She remarked for a moment before she was tapping a finger to their daughters nose and reminding her to be good for her dad.
And Taylor was right, he hadnât even brushed his teeth yet, but that made him scrunch his face momentarily and roll his eyes lightly, fighting back a smirk because he wouldnât dare submit his ex and their daughter to his morning breath.
Buck had gotten as far as cooking up a couple of waffles and brewing a fresh cup of coffee, he was currently working on cutting some strawberries up, when he heard a couple of taps on the door. Had Taylor forgotten something? He still hadnât brushed his teeth, not wanting to leave Emilia alone for too long, so instead of asking who it was, his instinct was to open the door.
âJoey,â he breathed out, and it dawned on him that he had invited her over for coffee and breakfast at his place. When her eyes took him in, he remembered that he stood clad in an apron, the same clothes and morning breath. He really had to brush his teeth.
Was Joey functioning on barely three hours of sleep? Maybe. Had she spent longer than that trying to find something to wear and to make herself look presentable? Possibly. Was it all because she was a weird mixture of worried and excited and just plain nervous? Absolutely.Â
She wasnât sure when in their separation, or even their reuniting, sheâd started to feel quite as nervous and giddy as she did when they first met, but it had happened and she found herself a little shaky as she hopped out of Noaâs car and walked up to Buckâs apartment. She wouldâve driven herself if sheâd trusted herself to focus on the road enough. But that was all thoughts for the past when she stopped in front of the door, knocked, and it was opening just moments later.Â
Buck in the state he was wasnât an unusual sight for her - theyâd lived together after all - but something about seeing it like this had her breath catching and butterflies taking flight in her stomach. God, she missed it... Even in her newly dyed hair and a painstakingly picked outfit, she desperately missed mornings where theyâd walk around in pyjamas or whatever clothes theyâd collapsed in and just cook or mess around or just drink coffee silently but with each others company... It felt like a world away, but there was an inkling of hope that maybe they could have it again.Â
âEvan, hi...â She started with a breath, her lips tugging into a smile - only to falter when she heard what sounded like a toddler babbling away. Emilia? Had she gotten the day wrong? Or had Buck mentioned it and she forgot? She blinked, peeking around him briefly for a moment, before looking back at him, âI... I....â She began, trying to find words that didnât sound wrong. She didnât want him to believe even for a second that his daughter was ever going to be a problem, or that she ever expected him to cancel other plans for her... She just also knew that they hadnât exactly talked about her meeting Emilia like this. âDid I get the wrong day?âÂ
svnsorsvnsâ:
it was rare for charlie to come by in the afternoon. he almost always only stops by the shop in the morning to grab some coffee. yet today it was just - it was one of those days. a day where it felt way to long and way to tiring so heâd wandered over. being around noa makes things better, at least it always seems to, so heâd settled down in a corner with same papers and a coffee to do some grading - and it seems he didnât realize how much time had passed until noa points it out. he sips his drink one last time before putting it down. âah - apologies.â charie nods his head at noa. âyou must want to get home though. iâll leave so you can close up.â
âOh no, thatâs not-â Noa started, straightening himself up by pushing off of the counter and abandoning his snack for now. The last thing he wanted was to pack up and go home, especially with Charlie here. Call him lovestruck, a plain idiot and everything inbetween, but Noa would much rather stay right here watching Charlie grade papers than go back home. âThatâs not what I meant. I just meant...â He didnât really know what he meant... Other than anything that got Charlie to stay. âI can clean up and stuff while you work or do it in the morning before we open again. Most things are done anyway, I just... Itâs quiet here and you look like youâre concentrating so I just... you can stay. For as long as you want, really. Some of the others have friends and uh... partners... and stuff hang around after hours. Maybe itâs the free coffee and leftover cake... Do you want some?â

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O P E N
to; all
âHm? Oh, yeah. We closed like, half hour ago but take your time,â Noa smiled, popping another chip in his mouth as he leaned against the counter of his coffee shop, âYou seemed like you were pretty engrossed in whatever you were doing. Do you want another drink?â
âOh, I hear what youâre saying, I really do,â Joey began, her head tilting as she twirled a pen around her fingers, only stopping to point it in the vague direction of the person in front of her, âBut that order you just gave me cannot possibly actually fit in one of our cups, so Iâm gonna need you to rethink and give up some of the extra pumps, or there literally wont be enough room for the coffee itself.âÂ
âOh, I hear what youâre saying, I really do,â Joey began, her head tilting as she twirled a pen around her fingers, only stopping to point it in the vague direction of the person in front of her, âBut that order you just gave me cannot possibly actually fit in one of our cups, so Iâm gonna need you to rethink and give up some of the extra pumps, or there literally wont be enough room for the coffee itself.âÂ
O P E N
to; all
âHm? Oh, yeah. We closed like, half hour ago but take your time,â Noa smiled, popping another chip in his mouth as he leaned against the counter of his coffee shop, âYou seemed like you were pretty engrossed in whatever you were doing. Do you want another drink?â
svnsorsvnsâ:
info: hansoo. 27. professional dom. heâs never brought his kinks into his personal relationship before but your muse (boyfriend/partner) just called him a title (sir/master/daddy/etc) and heâs pretty amused by it.
hansoo raises an eyebrow, looking over at the other with a bit of a smirk on his features, âexcuse me?â he asks, tilting his head. âwhen did you learn to call me that?â not that heâs against it, heâs pretty far for it actually, âno, better yet, where did you learn to call me that baby?â
Dove hadnât even realised at first that the word Sir had slipped free. In fact, he found himself staring at Hansoo throughout his entire question, blank and unknowing, right up until he called him baby. That triggered the memory. Ah, right. And heâd been so careful... âI... from places...â he admitted, hands tucking behind his back almost on instinct. It had been places he didnât typically dwell on anymore... a relationship heâd rather never revisit. His hip ached almost from the memory of how that had ended... He shook the thought off for now, tilting his head with a slight smirk, âWhy? Did you like it?âÂ

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svnsorsvnsâ:
@smalltownbeans
âyou donât want me to dredge up any of that shit trust me.â alexander tries to seem uninterested and not annoyed at being asked the millionth question today. ânone of itâs interesting in the slightest.â
âOh, but I... I do...â Nathaniel answered, his ever-eager eyes bright and fixed well and truly on Alexander. He was always careful not to tread too close to sensitive topics when talking to anyone, what with his whole... condition. He didnât know enough about it or how heâd hold up in an argument or fight so he never bothered to toe that line - but this? This, he needed to know. Because what if Alexanderâs answer could help him work out why his mother had given him up so easily? âI really, really do. Please?âÂ
n0chanxesâ:
âWyâŚâ Wonjoon paused and sighed the little nickname out with a small, sad, warm little smile. And he let himself be stupid again because he was kind of tired of not letting himself be a little carefree for the first time in two years. Wyatt always had this was of making him act.. in a way Father wouldâve been annoyed by. Not calculating, not âlike the future Alphaâ but just⌠like.. Wonjoon.. It was nice getting to be thoughtless and thoughtful like that again.
âIâm gonna pick out two things tonight butâ He tapped around the screen and ordered, setting it down in favour of wrapping both arms around Wyatts one still devastatingly firm arm, and nuzzled against the olderâs temple. âYouâve gotta stop⌠thinking you owe me every little thing. And I know that⌠all of this will be hard. And I know that brain of yours will make you think otherwise but.. you donât owe me every little thing. You do owe me is communicating, and understanding, and honesty if weâre gonna make this.. us really work this time around. Thatâs the least you can do. Telling yourself you have to give me the choice, that you owe me every which way is⌠I donât think itâs healthy, Wy. You deserve better than that, than having every turn be a chance to remind yourself of your guilt⌠Y..â He sighed a gentle, smiling sigh, taking a hand away to cup the otherâs cheek. âYouâre allowed to heal, Wyatt. If nothing else, I want that for.. and from you, âkay?â
Healing... could Wyatt ever really heal? Because it wasnt just this, was it? It wasnât just ruining them that he had to heal from. It was a lifetime of moving and never making roots or friends or relationships... It was looking after his father every day of his life, nursing a grown man back to being sober even as a child barely old enough to cook for himself. It was scurrying through dark parking lots late at night getting from the store to the latest dodgy motel or hotel room, desperate not to get noticed by any of the not-so-pleasant looking people hanging around. It was his life, and it was all heâd known and it was just one of many reasons that Wyatt might never stop believing that Joon deserved so much better. It wasnât even just about finances. It was about pride, and not being with someone so desperately broken that he was never sure one day to the next whether he could support Joon or need support that he would never, in a million years, ask for. Heâd rather curl himself up alone until the moment passed.Â
And wasnât that one of the key reasons theyâd broken down that first time?Â
He took a breath, looking at Joon and taking in every little thing about his features and his expression. The months had been kind to Joon, at least as far as his appearance and health seemed... âAre you sure you want to do this with me?â Wyatt said quietly, his eyebrows furrowing a little in confusion, in an odd sort of fear. Whether it was fear that Joon would say no, or fear that heâd say yes, Wyatt didnât know, âBecause I... I have a job now, but I still live with my dad and Iâm not, I... Iâm not... Iâve always told you you deserve someone who can give you more than I can.âÂ