This is a bit of an introspection, but at the same time I guess I’m looking for anyone with similar experiences? Anyways here goes (under a cut bc its probably going to be long)
When I was first experimenting with gender, I was in my junior/senior year oh high school and i went ahead and called myself gender non-conforming; I didn’t ask to switch pronouns, though I wasn’t comfortable with she/her, and I started binding.
When I got to college, I started IDing as a dude, started using he/him pronouns, and was pretty open about my transness. I got put on hormones late 2015, and kept binding up until last summer (due to some chest pain I was afraid might have been caused by it).
However, I’ve never really wanted top surgery or surgery of any kind, and now that I’m finally starting to grow a beard, I’m not sure I really want it? Not saying that I regret transitioning - going on T has done wonders for me irt dysphoria. I still prefer to be gendered as male by cis people, but have started feeling more comfortable with they/them pronouns? I also don’t feel like I fit the trans man narrative, as I don’t have any regrets as far as being raised a girl. I’m glad that I was? I had a lot of meaningful experiences, especially through things like girl scouts, and I don’t want to just throw that away.
And then theres the issues w sexuality. I know I’m into girls, I’m not super into dudes, but I wouldn’t call myself straight? And I wouldn’t really call myselfl bi, either. But like... what am I?
I feel most comfortable in women’s spaces, but I wouldn’t call myself a woman? But at the same time I Desperately Do Not Want To Be Seen As A Man? Because man has this negative connotation, even to me, and I don’t exactly Feel that way?
I know you can be in the middle or neither or whatever, but because I’m the subject of this, I’m very quick to invalidate myself.
anyways i feel like a big dumb weirdo. does anyone have any similar experiences?
jbbartram-illu
yousharknotpass
areudirty
pixelskylines
vaporwave
