Steve Harrington: ice cream scooper and expert Russian spy


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@slutforpumpkins
Steve Harrington: ice cream scooper and expert Russian spy

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dirty martinis and chuckles
chapter thirty two - masterlist
cw: 18+, cheating, smut, angst, p in v, 69, spanking, violence
a/n: we are at the end folks. thanks so much for reading :) one more chapter after this!!!!
âOlive!âÂ
Sheâd recognize that voice anywhere. She ignores it. She hasnât seen him in three fucking monthsâŠ
âOlive!â the voice comes again. Along with a pebble at her window.Â
And when thatâs ignored, a handful of pebbles hit her window. His voice says, âOlive, donât be a fucking coward. Iâm not fucking leaving!â
SHE FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!
I need to see Steve and reader from Harrington household finally get the house to themselves đ
Summary: Your birthday party is a disaster, and Steve surprises you with a weekend free of kids as an apology - along with some other ways to show you just how sorry he is.
WC: 4.4k
Warnings & What to Expect: hargrove!fem!reader, 18+, minors dni!!! explicit smut - oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, creampie, breeding kink, talks of birth control and pregnancy, explicit language.
Harrington Household Masterlist
putting reqs on pause so i can catch up on what i have! feel free to still send me chats! đ«¶đ»
this would probably take place like a week or so before the oldest went off to college
Main Masterlist If Interested
Peachâs Note: hii anon!! this is my first time writing smut đ so pls be gentle w/ me but im open to constructive feedback!!
im combining this with another request⊠so its still got plenty of plot (yall already know i yap in my fics). max and lucas are in it, and theyâre just the best support system for reader & steve đ„č
smut is labeled and at the end of the imagine after the bday party, in case the anon that requested that does not want to read the smutty part!! hope yâall enjoy lovies đ§Ą
The moment you enter the threshold of your home, Steve twirls your body around - pressing you up against the door and revealing to you that the kids arenât there.
âNo kids?â You ask in disbelief, stunned at what Steveâs just told you.
He grins, hands coming down to rest on your waist, âNope.â
BABY NUMBER SEVEN INCOMINGGGGGHHH OMG
Hi! Thank you for your work!
So Iâm being really moody right now because of PMS, and Iâd like something where the reader is also really moody, but I donât know which would be betterâIâd really like it if Steve put a bratty reader in her place with rough, sexy stuff, but Iâd also like it if it were cute and caring. So maybe it could be some dom-sub rough sex, and then as âaftercare,â something cute and caring where and the girl falls asleep on his chest. (And it would be so good if the reader were that short and there was a little age gap between them, like 10 years max.) Actually, it could be Joe or Gator or Steveâwhatever :)))
Bratty Moon
Gator Tillman x Reader
Summary: Youâre deep in a vicious PMS mood, snappy, restless, and spoiling for a fight. Gator has zero clue what PMS even is and zero patience for your bratty attitude. When you push him too far, he decides to put you in your place the only way he knows how.
Word count: 1.1K
Warnings: NSFW, rough sex (unprotected p/v), dom Gator, dirty talk, spanking, manhandling, creampie, tiny bit of ass play if you squint
âââââââââââ· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·âââââââââââ-
âââââââââââ· · â ·â¶Â· â · ·âââââââââââ-
The ranch was suffocating tonight. Every little sound grated on your nerves, the hum of the fridge, the creak of the floorboards, Gatorâs boots scraping as he paced around the kitchen. PMS had you in its grip: your lower back throbbed, your tits were sore, and a restless, mean energy buzzed under your skin like a live wire. You wanted to bite, to push, to make someone else feel as shitty as you did.
I SEE FIRE
đïž A Stranger Things AU Fanfic from Mishaâs Masterlist Library. đ Full Fanfic Saga & Infodump File here đ Book One: all chapters here
BOOK ONE: Chapter 43 (extended chapter) đïž The Games -> The Capitol -> Hawkins đč Day 5 of the Games -> Read next part here [coming soon]
Steve Harrington x OC!fem!reader hometown strangers to friends to lovers. ultra dark, heavy angst and hurt/comfort. alternate universe -> upside down apocalypse.high suspense, dystopian game-of-survival plot with morbidly dry humor sprinkled along the way. eventual plot-driven angsty smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
A fever dream multi-crossover au inspired by The Hunger Games and The Purge universes, merged with Stranger Things. đč
đč SUMMARY: At long last, Steve Harrington finally emerges from the 2-day long fog that kept him under. He has no clue where he is or how he got here, only that all of his belongings are neatly stashed beside him, along with his bow and arrow...
And there's a message written for him in the ground.
đč AUTHORâS NOTE: These are the chapters I dreaded most, yet couldn't help but fall in love with while writing. Dear Ro, you are the sweetest little lost boy in all of existence and Neverland... Katniss & Rue fans, this next stretch of alliance infused chapters are for you. And yes, I kept Ro alive a little longer because it was killing me imagining him being gone after only one day.
*sobs into cereal bowl*
p.s. this is a longer chapter, so the next part [Part II] will come tomorrow.
Xx, Misha
đč OVERALL SERIES WARNINGS: This is my darkest fanfic series. Strong language, mature themes all around. Explores PTSD and severe trauma, past s*xual and physical abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, dystopian setting. Heavy angst/hurt/comfort (yes, there will be a hard-earned happy ending). General THG series setting + angst, plus grim themes and gore in the vein of The Purge.
Chapter Forty-Three
DAY 5 -> The Games
The first thing Steve sees is U R SAFE.
Itâs spelled out on the dirt in front of him in crooked little bursts of color â yellow leaves, red leaves, tiny purple flowers, a couple of white petals, one busted sprig of green that looks like it got shoved in there at the last second because whoever made it ran out of pretty things and said fuck it, thisâll do.
For a long second, he just stares at it.
Not because he doesnât understand the words. Because he does.
Because right now⊠his brain is moving like something dragged up from the bottom of a cold lake. Slow. Groggy. Not stupid, exactly. Just⊠delayed. All hot syrup and static. He knows those words. Knows what they mean. Knows theyâre meant for him.
He just canât immediately make the rest of the world catch up around them.
You are safe.
The sentence sits there on the ground like a hand held out flat.
Steve blinks hard once.
Then again.
And only then does he start to feel the rest of himself.
oh my god i love little ro so much please dont kill him misha my heart cant take it
my dearest one, hold me tightâŠ
allow for me to sign you a sweet sweet lullaby as we dread the upcoming canon events that await us just around the bendâŠ
NO MISHA NO DONT DO IT YOU ARE THE WRITER DONT DO THIS TO MY LITTLE RO

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fckn lego head
HOW is he more rounded now
⥠o thou of little faith âĄ
part 2 of coward
pairing: blind gator tillman x neighbor reader
summary: with you entering his life, gator struggles to find whether or not to trust the reality that has let him down time and time again or to trust youâthe reality he wants.
word count: 3k
warnings/tags: blind gator, explicit language, misogyny, paranoia, unreliable nargator, angst, religious themes, fluff, flirting, cuteness, petnames, pretend any of the movies mentioned are on roku, cuddling
a/n: hi everybody!! so unbelievably ecstatic to have my very own taglist, let alone a second part!! this one's a little short, but I have big plans for these two coming up, trust. I can't wait for you to see the finished series next friday! ty ily!! <3
That one moment where Gator thought he didnât want to be alone anymore? That one sweet period of bliss that told him he was safe for onceâthat you were worth it?Â
Yeah, fuck that.
Thatâs My Mom
eddie munson x bats (fem!reader), alice & roan munson
word count: 1.4k+
summary: Corroded Coffin or Die Photo Prompt Server Challenge | While cleaning the garage, Alice finds some photos that has Eddie feeling some type of way.
warnings: none that i can think of!
notes: I donât think Eddie talks about his parents with the girls oftenâ but the call back to the car heâs got (to connect with his mama) is in this fic right here. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me know if Iâve missed anything!
omg đđđ
Date night
I SEE FIRE
đïž A Stranger Things AU Fanfic from Mishaâs Masterlist Library. đ Full Fanfic Saga & Infodump File here đ Book One: all chapters here
BOOK ONE: Chapter 43 (extended chapter) đïž The Games -> The Capitol -> Hawkins đč Day 5 of the Games -> Read next part here [coming soon]
Steve Harrington x OC!fem!reader hometown strangers to friends to lovers. ultra dark, heavy angst and hurt/comfort. alternate universe -> upside down apocalypse.high suspense, dystopian game-of-survival plot with morbidly dry humor sprinkled along the way. eventual plot-driven angsty smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
A fever dream multi-crossover au inspired by The Hunger Games and The Purge universes, merged with Stranger Things. đč
đč SUMMARY: At long last, Steve Harrington finally emerges from the 2-day long fog that kept him under. He has no clue where he is or how he got here, only that all of his belongings are neatly stashed beside him, along with his bow and arrow...
And there's a message written for him in the ground.
đč AUTHORâS NOTE: These are the chapters I dreaded most, yet couldn't help but fall in love with while writing. Dear Ro, you are the sweetest little lost boy in all of existence and Neverland... Katniss & Rue fans, this next stretch of alliance infused chapters are for you. And yes, I kept Ro alive a little longer because it was killing me imagining him being gone after only one day.
*sobs into cereal bowl*
p.s. this is a longer chapter, so the next part [Part II] will come tomorrow.
Xx, Misha
đč OVERALL SERIES WARNINGS: This is my darkest fanfic series. Strong language, mature themes all around. Explores PTSD and severe trauma, past s*xual and physical abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, dystopian setting. Heavy angst/hurt/comfort (yes, there will be a hard-earned happy ending). General THG series setting + angst, plus grim themes and gore in the vein of The Purge.
Chapter Forty-Three
DAY 5 -> The Games
The first thing Steve sees is U R SAFE.
Itâs spelled out on the dirt in front of him in crooked little bursts of color â yellow leaves, red leaves, tiny purple flowers, a couple of white petals, one busted sprig of green that looks like it got shoved in there at the last second because whoever made it ran out of pretty things and said fuck it, thisâll do.
For a long second, he just stares at it.
Not because he doesnât understand the words. Because he does.
Because right now⊠his brain is moving like something dragged up from the bottom of a cold lake. Slow. Groggy. Not stupid, exactly. Just⊠delayed. All hot syrup and static. He knows those words. Knows what they mean. Knows theyâre meant for him.
He just canât immediately make the rest of the world catch up around them.
You are safe.
The sentence sits there on the ground like a hand held out flat.
Steve blinks hard once.
Then again.
And only then does he start to feel the rest of himself.
oh my god i love little ro so much please dont kill him misha my heart cant take it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
still thinking about this
this isnt joe, this is steve, i cant explain. but im right
I SEE FIRE
đïž A Stranger Things AU Fanfic from Mishaâs Masterlist Library. đ Full Fanfic Saga & Infodump File here đ Book One: all chapters here
BOOK ONE: Chapter 43 (extended chapter) đïž The Games -> The Capitol -> Hawkins đč Day 5 of the Games -> Read next part here [coming soon]
Steve Harrington x OC!fem!reader hometown strangers to friends to lovers. ultra dark, heavy angst and hurt/comfort. alternate universe -> upside down apocalypse.high suspense, dystopian game-of-survival plot with morbidly dry humor sprinkled along the way. eventual plot-driven angsty smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
A fever dream multi-crossover au inspired by The Hunger Games and The Purge universes, merged with Stranger Things. đč
đč SUMMARY: At long last, Steve Harrington finally emerges from the 2-day long fog that kept him under. He has no clue where he is or how he got here, only that all of his belongings are neatly stashed beside him, along with his bow and arrow...
And there's a message written for him in the ground.
đč AUTHORâS NOTE: These are the chapters I dreaded most, yet couldn't help but fall in love with while writing. Dear Ro, you are the sweetest little lost boy in all of existence and Neverland... Katniss & Rue fans, this next stretch of alliance infused chapters are for you. And yes, I kept Ro alive a little longer because it was killing me imagining him being gone after only one day.
*sobs into cereal bowl*
p.s. this is a longer chapter, so the next part [Part II] will come tomorrow.
Xx, Misha
đč OVERALL SERIES WARNINGS: This is my darkest fanfic series. Strong language, mature themes all around. Explores PTSD and severe trauma, past s*xual and physical abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, dystopian setting. Heavy angst/hurt/comfort (yes, there will be a hard-earned happy ending). General THG series setting + angst, plus grim themes and gore in the vein of The Purge.
Chapter Forty-Three
DAY 5 -> The Games
The first thing Steve sees is U R SAFE.
Itâs spelled out on the dirt in front of him in crooked little bursts of color â yellow leaves, red leaves, tiny purple flowers, a couple of white petals, one busted sprig of green that looks like it got shoved in there at the last second because whoever made it ran out of pretty things and said fuck it, thisâll do.
For a long second, he just stares at it.
Not because he doesnât understand the words. Because he does.
Because right now⊠his brain is moving like something dragged up from the bottom of a cold lake. Slow. Groggy. Not stupid, exactly. Just⊠delayed. All hot syrup and static. He knows those words. Knows what they mean. Knows theyâre meant for him.
He just canât immediately make the rest of the world catch up around them.
You are safe.
The sentence sits there on the ground like a hand held out flat.
Steve blinks hard once.
Then again.
And only then does he start to feel the rest of himself.
Drinking a shot of espresso like a slut (2)
Cr- twt
he drinks so much coffee and smokes i know his breath gets a little math teachery sometimes and iâd still let him put his tongue down my throat
Thatâs My Mom
eddie munson x bats (fem!reader), alice & roan munson
word count: 1.4k+
summary: Corroded Coffin or Die Photo Prompt Server Challenge | While cleaning the garage, Alice finds some photos that has Eddie feeling some type of way.
warnings: none that i can think of!
notes: I donât think Eddie talks about his parents with the girls oftenâ but the call back to the car heâs got (to connect with his mama) is in this fic right here. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me know if Iâve missed anything!
this perked my day up a little đ„ș

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Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
I wanna be yours - Part 42
TW : guns, mentions of murder
âIâm serious, Iâm going to kill him.â There was no emotion in his voice, just certainty. Alex nodded.Â
âGood.â You stared at both of them.Â
âWhat ?â
âWhat do you mean, what ?â Alex asked.
âYou can't just decide to kill him.â Gator laughed bitterly.Â
âWhy not ?â
âBecause he's your father.â The second the words left your mouth, Gator's head snapped towards you. His eyes were red, his jaw tight.
âHe is not my father.â
âGatorâŠâ
âNo.â He pointed towards the tape recorder. âThat man spent years telling me my mother abandoned me. He watched me cry for her. He watched me wonder why I wasn't enough. He watch me hate her, watched me look for her across the whole fucking continent for fucking years.â His voice was shaking again, like he was holding back tears. âAnd he knew. He knew she fucking didnât abandon me, knew she died trying to take me with her.â A tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away angrily. âThatâs not a father.â
Nobody had an answer to that because he was right. He kept going. âYou know what happened when I was fourteen ?â You looked up at him, but he wasnât really looking at any of you anymore, just staring somewhere fae away. âI got thrown from a horse. Dislocated my shoulder. Could barely move my arm.â His eyes drifted towards the floor. âMy father told me to get back on. I threw up from the pain.â A small laugh escaped his lips. âHe told me I was a pussy, and that pain builds character.â
âDude âŠâ Alex rested a hand on Gatorâs shoulder, and he kept talking.Â
âWhen I was sixteen I told him I wanted to leave the ranch.â Alexâs hand tightened on his shoulder. Â
âWhat happened ?â Gator smiled, a sad smile.Â
âHe didn't talk to me for three weeks once again. He had everybody else stop talking to me too. He told the ranch hands not to speak to me and I didnât have the right to leave the ranch. Didnât have a single human contact for three fucking weeks. He made me eat every meal alone.â Your heart broke because you knew exactly why that had worked, Gator was terrified of abandonment and Roy knew this too.Â
Every time Gator talked about something his dad did to him, it was awful. You were really wondering if he ever had a loving interaction with his son. You got up and slowly walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging tightly.Â
âYou don't have to do this today.â Gator looked at you.
âI do.â
âNo.â You squeezed his hand. âYou need to think.â Alex surprisingly nodded.
âFor once, she's right. We canât do this without thinking about it first.â Gator looked between you, frustrated.Â
âWhat am I supposed to do ?â You took a breath.
âConfront him. I know you probably want more answers, and itâs going to haunt you forever if you donât get them.â Alex nodded.
The idea settled over the room for a few seconds, before Gator frowned.Â
âYou two aren't coming.â
âYes we are.â He looked at you, shaking his head.Â
âNo.â You crossed your arms. âAbsolutely not.â
âGator, I'm not letting you go alone.â Alex pointed at himself.
âNeither am I.â Gator laughed.
âYou can't even get through the ranch gates.â Well, touchĂ©. He groaned.Â
âDamn it.â The room went quiet again, the three of you thinking, planning. âWe still need to think it through. You're not rushing him with a shovel the second you see him.â
âI wasn't gonna use a shovel.â Gator replied. Smart ass âŠÂ
The conversation stalled, the three of you sat around the kitchen table surrounded by evidence, but somehow none of it mattered if you couldn't get Alex onto the ranch. Gator stared at the table, thinking, before breaking the silence suddenly.Â
âWhat happens every time something goes wrong on the ranch ?â You both frowned.Â
âWhat ?â
âThe guards leave their posts.â Alex slowly sat up and Gator nodded. You immediately knew you werenât going to like whatever came next.
âWhat are you two thinking ?â Neither answered immediately, which was never a good sign.
âChaos.â Alex grinned while you groaned.Â
âThatâs not a plan.â
âIt is if there's enough of it, it definitely is a plan.â Gator actually laughed, the first genuine laugh you had heard from him since the cassette. Alex pointed towards him. âSee ? He gets it.â
âI hate that you two are getting along now.â Neither man listened, they were already planning. Gator leaned forward.
âThe horses.â Alex nodded immediately.
âEverybody drops what they're doing for horses.â
âEspecially if multiple fences are open.â You stared, feeling completely left out of this conversation.Â
âYouâre actually serious.â
âCompletely.â Gator grabbed a pen and started drawing on the back of an old receipt heâd pulled out of a pocket from his tactical vest. âThe north horse pasture.â He drew a circle. âThe cattle enclosure.â Another circle. âThe feed barn.â Alex's eyes widened.
âOh my God.âÂ
âWhat ?âÂ
âIf there's smoke or a small fire near the feed barnâŠâ He pointed at Gatorâs drawing. ââŠand horses get looseâŠâ Then at another spot. ââŠand cattle start movingâŠâ The realization hit you, then every farmhand on the ranch would be occupied. Gator nodded.Â
âExactly.â You blinked, staring at them.Â
âYouâre both insane.â
âProbably.â Alex grinned. âItâs going to take them quite some time to gather back all the animals if theyâre frightened.â You shook your head.Â
âWhy donât we just go to the police ?â Your question stopped them for a moment. Gator laughed, not because it was funny, but because it wasn't.
âYou serious ?â
âYeah.â You looked between them. âWe have the file.â You pointed towards the folder under Gator's arms on the table. âIsnât that enough ?â
Gator sighed, a long and tired sigh.Â
âNo. Baby, my dad is the police.â He shook his head slightly. âAnd even if we tried to seek police help elsewhere, I'd go to prison.âÂ
âWhat do you mean ?â You asked.Â
âYou think I'm walking out of this clean ? I've spent years doing jobs for my father. â Okay, you understood now, Gator saw it on your face. âYeah. I wasn't exactly handing out parking tickets.â The words hurt, because they were true. Alex crossed his arms.
âAnd I'd probably end up right next to him.â You looked over while he shrugged. âI broke into places, I stole shit, I spent weeks investigating people. Pretty sure none of that's legal.â You looked back towards Gator.
âBut Roy would still go down.â His expression darkened.
âYou don't get it. He owns half this county. Deputies, judges, ranch owners, politicians. My entire life I've watched people look the other way. You think we're the first people who figured out something was wrong ?â He paused for a few seconds. âMy father survives because people are scared of him. And because some people need him.â You nodded, now realizing going to the police wouldnât do anything. Alex clapped his hands together once.Â
âSo, ready to ruin an old man's evening ?â A tiny smile appeared on Gator's face, and together, you continued building your plan.
An hour later you had refined the whole plan over and over again. Every possible problem, every possible mistake, every possible way it could go horribly wrong. Gator sat back and Alex spoke.Â
âOkay. So we actually doing this ?â
âIâm doing this.â He replied. You looked at him, the anger was still there, burning beneath everything. You didnât ague, didnât try to stop him as Alex glanced between you. He wasnât stupid, he could see on your face that you wanted to speak to Gator, alone. He stood.Â
âAlright.â He stretched dramatically. âIâm gonna go get ready.â You silently thanked him with your eyes. âTry not to have an emotional breakthrough while I'm gone.â And he headed upstairs. It was just the two of you now. Your eyes immediately found Gator's.
âAre you sure ?â He already knew what you meant.
âYes.â
âGator.â
âIâm sure.â You crossed your arms trying not to panic and to cry already.
âI don't want something happening to you.â The words came out smaller than you had intended. Gator's expression softened.
âI know.â
âI mean it.â
âI know mama.â Another silence, before Gator moved closer, close enough that your knees touched. âYou gotta trust me.â You laughed softly.
âThatâs not exactly reassuring.â A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
âI wanna spend the rest of my life with you.â You felt your heart skip a beat. He kept going. âAnd it's gonna be a long life.â His voice was quiet, certain, like he genuinely believed it and he needed you to believe it too.Â
âYou don't know that.â
âI do.â
âNo, you donât.â He smiled again.
âI do baby.â The stubbornness made you want to laugh and cry at the same time. For a moment neither of you spoke. Then Gator reached forward, carefully, taking your face between both hands. His palms were warm and his thumbs rested against your cheeks. The world suddenly felt very small, it was just the two of you and nothing else. He looked directly into your eyes.
âI love you.â The words hit harder than you expected, even after everything, you felt tears immediately threatening. âI never thought I could ever love another woman after my mom left... Well, after she disappeared. But here I am.â Your chest tightened.
âI love you too, Gates.â His smile broke, a real one this time, before he leaned forward and kissed you slow and gentle, the complete opposite of everything you had been dealing with. His tongue slipped into your mouth, dancing with yours. For a few seconds, the world disappeared.
âOh, for fuck's sake.â You immediately jumped apart. Alex was standing halfway down the stairs looking horrified. âI leave for five minutes.â He pointed towards an imaginary watch on his wrist. You laughed despite yourself while Gator rolled his eyes. âSome people are trying to overthrow a ranch dictatorship here, and you two are making out.â
âWe were not.â
âYou absolutely were.â Gator grabbed a nearby cushion and threw it at him, but Alex dodged it. â Hey ! Domestic violence !â You snorted, even Gator laughed, breaking the tension for just a moment. This was exactly what you needed.
Alex looked between you and nodded. âOkay. Let's go ruin Roy Tillman's life.â Â
A little while later you all stepped outside. Alex climbed into the trunk without complaint this time, though not without commentary. âThis is degrading. I feel like a fucking dog going to the park.â
âShut up. Get in.â Gator replied.Â
âI hate both of you.â
âGet in.â Eventually, the trunk closed, the cruiser started, and he began driving.
The closer you got to the ranch, the quieter Gator became. His hands tightened around the steering wheel. You noticed but didnât say anything.Â
The ranch gates opened automatically, the guards waving him through without questions or suspicions.Â
A few minutes later, Gator parked near the stables. He turned off the engine and looked at you. âCome on.â You climbed out, the ranch stretching around you. You walked through the horse barns together, checking every corner, every stall, every doorway. There were no farmhands, nobody watching. Good. One by one, you both began opening gates quietly, not enough to be obvious, but just enough to leave room for the animals to leave.Â
The first horse wandered out, then another, then another. You watched them disappear towards the open pasture, your pulse was pounding. âGator.â He looked up. âWe should hurry.â He nodded and immediately took off running towards the feed barn, leaving you alone.Â
The next step was yours : the cattle enclosure. You checked once, twice, nobody nearby. You opened the first gate, then the second and within moments, several cattle had already begun wandering away. Before you could really register it, they were all moving. You backed away, heart racing. The first shouts echoed across the ranch, right on cue.
When you reached the meeting point again, Gator was already there, breathing hard. Behind him, smoke, a thin gray plume rising from the feed barn roof. It wasnât enough to be dangerous, but it was more than enough to cause panic.Â
âYou actually did it.â You said, and Gator looked surprisingly proud.
âYup.â The ranch exploded, farmhands shouting, vehicles starting, radios screaming and people running in every direction.
Someone yelled about the horses, another yelled about the cattle, and another about the smoke. It was chaos, pure chaos. Exactly as planned.Â
You sprinted back towards the cruiser and jumped inside, driving to the main house as fast as possible. The closer you got, the harder your heart pounded. Gator parked right beside the front door, and it suddenly burst open. Bowman was running out, exactly as Gator had predicted. He was his dadâs right arm, always together, if he left the house, it meant that no one else was inside beside the sheriff.Â
He practically jogged towards the cruiser and knocked on Gator's window. He lowered it and Bowman looked annoyed. âSomethingâs going on with the horses and cattle.â
âNo shit.â
âYou better get over there, kid. Your dad is pissed as fuck already.â Gator nodded.
âYeah. Iâm on my way.â Bowman pointed back towards the ranch.
âHurry.â Then he ran off, disappearing towards the chaos. You watched him go, and looked back at the house. Nobody was left. That was it, Roy was all alone. Neither of you spoke for a few seconds before Gator climbed out, walked around the cruiser and opened the trunk. Alex immediately sat up, blinking against the sunlight.
âPlease tell me we're done with the coffin experience. I'm fucking claustrophobic.â
âGet out.â Alex didnât argue and climbed out, stretching, before looking towards the main house. The smile vanished from his face.
âOh.â The reality of it settled over all three of them, that was it. It wasnât planning and theories anymore, it was real. Gator looked towards the front door, then towards Alex, before his eyes landed on you.Â
âReady ?â Nobody really was, but you all nodded anyways. He opened the backdoor of his cruiser, lifted the backseat and unlocked the secret compartment. After a few seconds, he pulled out his shotgun, and together, you all started walking toward Roy Tillman's house.
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Dear dollie | Part twenty two
Gator finds out.
Mention of pregnancy, mention of abortion, talking about future of relationship, teeny tiny mentions of trauma flashbacks, miss is not happy & all kinds of confused.
Soft gator, heâs basically begging, no Dollie in this one itâs just them talking things through.
You pace around your room trying to steady your breath, oh god. Pregnant. Your mind spiralling with all of the thoughts, ones you just couldnât process right now.
Youâd been drinking, heavily drinking. Would the baby be okay? All of the stress youâd been under.
âOh my godâ you sob as you pull an oversized T-shirt onto your body, walking towards the door to go and tell gator before stopping. Is telling him the right thing to do? Did you even want a baby?
Youâd always wanted to be a mama and in some ways you already were one, Dollie had filled that hole for you.
You wipe the tears away from your face gently, taking a deep breath as you sit back down on the edge of the bed.
Picking up the test again just to make sure you hadnât miss read it, you hadnât.
Gator looked so stressed when he gave you the test earlier, he didnât want anymore kids he made it clear every time Dollie mentioned it. Would he run away again? Would he take Dollie and go for good this time?
Your chest heaved as you started to sob again, trying your best to stay quiet so you didnât wake Dollie up. Oh god, a baby. A real baby.
You had no one to call, no family to rally around and support you. You couldnât call Tara on her wedding night and take the spotlight away from her, but you needed someone.
You needed someone to tell you it would all be okay, someone to talk through your options with. Just someone.
You push up off the bed hands shaking as you reach the door of your room, the only person you could tell was Gator.
~
Gator sat on the sofa still just in his boxers, beer in one hand as he watched the tv. You could see he was still angry from your little argument earlier, he didnât even turn to face you as you walked into the room.
Your heart was racing, sweat starting to form across your forehead.
Oh god, this is going to make everything worse, heâs going to shout, wake dollie. You couldnât bare the thought of that being the way she found out, you lingered next to the sofa for a moment.
You didnât have to tell him, maybe you could hide it for as long as possible. Go to all of your appointments in secret, tell him when things at home got better.
No, that would be so wrong.
âGatorâ you say as you walk towards the sofa, voice barely above a whisper. Your limbs felt numb, pins and needles all over your body. Shit, shit, shit.
Your hand was shaking holding onto the pregnancy test, it didnât feel real. None of this did, the past few weeks becoming a haze of nightmares.
âHm?â Gators jaw tenses, he doesnât turn to face you but at least he wasnât ignoring you. He was stubborn and youâd hurt his feelings once again so this was expected.
âI-â you sob as you look at him, his head instantly turning towards you. Hard expression on his face instantly softening at the sight of your red eyes and trembling body.
âWhats goin on?â He gets out of his seat placing the beer on the table before walking towards you, eyebrows furrowed as he looks down at you waiting for your reply.
âGator I- I donât kno..â you let out a loud sob, not really making any sense to anyone as your eyes looked into his âI donât know how- fuck Iâ
You couldnât do it, mind racing as you looked at him. This really was going to be the end of it all.
Gators heart racing as he looked at you, thoughts racing in his mind what could have possibly caused you to act like this in the last thirty minutes youâd been upstairs.
âShhhâ gators hand cups your cheek softly âtry again, pretty girl. Tell meâ
The warmth of his hand calming something inside of you, all the anger built up towards him managing to slip away in the moment.
You needed him right now.
You look at the soft smile placed on his lips, a wave of fear washing over you that you were about to knock it straight back off.
Gator felt sick, worry crippling him. Waiting for your next words to be the worst thing heâd ever heard. What would that be? He wasnât sure but he was sure something bad was coming. He waited patiently, eyes soft against you not wanting to rush you but the anxiety was killing him.
âTell me, babyâ his thumb stroked the tears from your cheeks, his own hands starting to shake now. The softness in his voice made your breath catch in your throat âsâok, whatever it isâ
It was so far from okay, thoughts of Dollie feeling left out, not having all of yours or gators attention anymore clouding your mind. Sheâd always wanted a sibling but how would she feel when it really happened?
Gator watched, he could see the thoughts racing through your mind anxiously biting down on his lip.
You tried to pull yourself together but every time you did something else replaced the worry youâd sent away.
âYou were rightâ you whisper between sobs. Instantly regretting saying anything, did you really need him? Should you have just kept it to yourself until Tara was home?
Gator stared at you, clueless as to what you were talking about. What could have upset you this bad? What was he right about?
âRight bout what?â His hand moved from your cheeks, trailing down to your shoulder before making its way down further to your hand.
Your heart beating rapidly as he tried to hold your hand, the one you were holding the test in.
The touch of his hand felt hot against your skin, like it was burning the whole time it lingered on you.
Gators eyes looked down at your hand before he pulled it up, taking the test from your hand.
Oh god, you felt sick. But this wasnât the sick that had been bothering you for weeks, this was fear. Too late to back out now, the tests in his hands. His eyes looking down at it.
âI- Iâm sor..â
âOh pretty girlâ he sighed as he looked from the test back at you.
He didnât look angry, he didnât look anything but concerned as you stood in front of him crying and trembling.
Relief washed over gator, of all the things racing through his mind. This was the best one.
Gator watched as you sobbed, he noticed the way right now you looked like your life was falling apart. He wanted to tell you that heâd done this all before, the fear, the what ifs but he knew right now that wouldnât help.
He wanted to tell you how this would end up being the best thing that ever happens to you just like Dollie was for him, like this new baby would be too.
But it could wait.
âBaby..â he stepped forward arms outstretched to pull you into him before stepping away again to give you space.
It had always been him and Dollie, she was his world how was he meant to ever love something as much as he did her?
Did he want another kid? Not right now.
But was it the worst news heâd ever been told? No.
He loved you, he wanted to make it work and heâd prove that to you every single day.
âSâok baby shhhâ hand running up and down your back soothingly âIâm hereâ throwing his concerns to the side and pulling you into him.
âYouâre gonna leave arenât you?â You cried as your hand rested against his chest, your mind fighting you if you should let your hand stay in place or use it to push him away âyouâre gonna take her and go and Iâm going to be here all alone with the baby by myselfâ you sobbed before you step back to look up at him.
You watched as he exhaled, hands moving to his hips now.
You waited, waited for him to tell you that you were right. He was going to leave you to deal with it all yourself, but he didnât.
âThaâs my babyâ he spoke softly âan yer my girl, I ainât goin anywhereâ
His words didnât soothe you like you thought they would, panic still raging through your body but you listened.
âWhat if I donât want a baby?â You cried as you looked at him.
âDonât ya?â
Gators eyebrows raised as he looked at you, he knew you well enough to know that this baby wasnât going anywhere. But if you did decide that you didnât want it, heâd be right there beside you.
âI donât know..â
âYer scared, thatâs allâ you nod as you look at him, you didnât want a baby right now. Everything was such a mess but you knew an abortion wasnât something you wanted to do âI think ya need ta sleep on it, donât make any decisions nowâ
âI- I wonât be able to sleepâ you bite down on your lip as you shake your head, trying to stop the tears from coming.
âWant me ta stay with ya?â
Your body tensed up at the thought, head spinning with all of the unwanted memories again. You looked at him, the softness in his eyes, the sweet words he kept saying trying to reassure you.
âNoâ you push against his chest âI want you to leave!â You push him again.
Gators expression dropping to something that looked like sadness, his mouth falling open like he wanted to say something but he stopped himself.
âI want you to go and never come back!â You shout as you push him again, gator didnât try to stop you he just watched as you fell apart once again in front of him âit should be easy for youâ you scoff.
âSânot fai-â
âShut up gator! Just shut upâ you sob as you push against him again, gators hands gently holding onto your wrists to stop you. Your stomach turned as he held onto you, eyes wide as the thoughts of Roy restraining you raced through your mind âdonât!â You cry as you try to wriggle them free âplease donât hurt meâ
Gator released your wrists instantly, chest tightening at your words. God heâd never hurt you, never touch a hair on your head.
âI- Iâd never hurt ya, is that what ya think?â You could hear the hurt in his voice âbaby..â
You shake your head as you look at him, the noise in your head slowly starting to settle as you realise whoâs actually stood in front of you. Not a monster, Gator.
You didnât want him to go, but maybe if you pushed him away first it would hurt less when he goes again.
Gator watched as you sobbed, hands covering your face. His heart aching as he looked at the broken woman in front of him, the woman heâd do anything for if given the chance to.
âBaby.. please donât..Sâgonna be okayâ gators arms wrap around you cautiously, like heâs testing it youâll let him or if youâll lash out again âIâve got yaâ
He lifts you up off the floor holding you softly as he carries you up the stairs, you want to tell him to put you down, leave you alone but you canât. You need someone. Everything is falling apart but he seems calm, you need calm.
âThis ok?â He asks as he places you down on his bed, the familiar smell bringing you instant comfort.
You quickly snuggle yourself against his pillow, feeling safe for the first time in weeks. You feel the bed dip as gator climbs in behind you, he doesnât touch you like he usually would, he doesnât even wrap his arm around you.
He gives you space, there if you need him.
You take a moment to let your breathing settle, letting all of the thoughts clouding your mind wash away before you roll over towards him.
âWanna talk?â He asks softly as he rolls onto his side to face you, still leaving space between you.
âYeahâ you whisper.
âWhat ya wanna do bout it?â
âI donât knowâ you exhale.
âDo ya want tha baby?â Anxiety flooding his body as he asked, almost scared of your answer. It wasnât the perfect time right now but something heâd learned from having Dollie made him realise itâs never the perfect time.
âIâm not readyâ you half smile âbut I canât get rid of itâ
Gator nods as he looks at you, not letting the relief he was feeling show on his face.
âIâm scared youâre gonna leave meâ
âI wonâtâ his eyes almost plead with you to believe him, but he keeps his reply short and simple. Not wanting to over complicate things again.
âI want to believe youâ
âLet me show ya, mânot goin anywhereâ his hand moved closer towards you, letting it rest in the air as he looks at you waiting for you to give him the go ahead. You nod at him, his hand gently strokes the hair out of your face âweâre a family, always have beenâ
âDo you love me?â You whisper.
âSo much, mamaâ gators finger traces the shape of your nose as he slowly drags it down the length of it.
Mama? Something Dollie always called you. Something that felt so right with her but gator referring to you as it? You werenât sure how to feel.
âDo ya love me?â
You thought for a moment, you knew you did. You always had.
But did you want to tell him that right now? Did you want to let him right back in again? Was it even worth it?
Did you owe it to the baby to try?
âI do..â you whisper, looking down at the sheet so you didnât have to see his smug face.
But when you did look back up at him it wasnât smug, he just looked.. peaceful? Like everything was right in the world right now.
âI know ya donât trust meâ he scoffs âbut mâgonna prove it, gonna be here every step of the wayâ
âIâll try to trust youâ
âSâall ya can doâ he smiled softly letting his hand rest against your cheek before pulling away and rolling onto his back.
âFuckin dad of twoâ he let out a breathy laugh like he couldnât believe it, about to do it all again.
âAre you happy?â
âScaredâ
Gator wasnât lying, he was scared. He remembered doing it all alone with Dollie, the dark lonely nights when her mama was fast asleep and heâd sit up for hours without sleep trying to sooth Dollie. The concerned look on the doctors faces when heâd take her to appointments and ask questions that he didnât know the answers too that made him look stupid, the reputation that came with his name making it hard for him to make friends with other parents when heâd take her to baby groups. The constant loads of washing, cleaning bottles, teething.
Would you find it hard like Dollieâs mama did? Would you walk away when it got too hard? Was he about to do it all alone again?
Gator tried his best to push the feelings away, you needed him right now.
âBut mâhappyâ he let his head fall to the side so he was looking at you, smiling softly âsâgonna be funâ
You laugh at the thought.
âDo you think doll will be happy?â
âFuck yeahâ he laughed âsheâs gonna fuckin flip her shitâ
You smile at him, the thought warming your heart. Sheâd wanted this for so long, you couldnât wait to tell her.
âSo weâre doing this?â You whisper
âIâm in if yer inâ his hand shuffles against the sheets to find yours, fingers gently stroking over it âcan we try again?â
âMaybe we should try co parentingâ The words tasted sour as they left your mouth, it didnât seem right to give up this easy but you didnât know what else to do. It would be hard to move past everything that happened, it wasnât fair to keep lashing out at him when things got hard.
âDonât wannaâ gator sighed before moving closer to you on the bed âI love ya, I love our babyâ
âI canât just fall into it like nothings happenedâ you whisper, tears threatening to spill out again âtoo much has happenedâ
âI knowâ gator replies softly âbut can ya walk away from it? I donât think I can pretty girlâ
You couldnât. He was right again, so much bad had happened but there was so much good that had happened too.
âI donât know..â
âI ainât givin up on ya, Iâll keep showin ya every fuckin day if thatâs what it takesâ
âI donât know what itâll takeâ you replied honestly.
âIâll try everythinâ his hand moved back up to your face, cupping your cheek as his big eyes found yours âwe keep tryin till I get it rightâ
You let out a breathy laugh as you look at him, the thought of him trying to fix something you werenât sure could even be fixed.
âAn I will get it right, mama. Iâll get it right fer all three of yaâ he smiled softly, his thumb stroking your tears away. âIâll take all of tha bad, fuck I deserve itâ he half smiled making your heart hurt âbut I canât do another broken family mama, canât do it all alone againâ
Your chest hurt at his words, he thought you were going to be like Dollieâs mama. Did he think that was normal?
âGator..â
âLet me finish.. jus one last shot baby. If I fuck up or it ainât workin out Iâll let ya goâ gator felt sick as the words left his mouth, he dont think heâll ever be able to let you go. Coming into his life so easily, watching you brighten Dollieâs life and be the mama she always deserved. âBut we owe it ta them, ta tryâ
You listen, the desperation in his voice sending a chill through you.
âI canât promise Iâll ever forgive youâ you whisper.
âI can work with thaâ
âOkayâ
âYeah?â He smiles softly, letting his hand drop down to your neck, thumb tracing circles against the soft skin there.
âYeahâ
Gator smiled as he looked at you, maybe this would be a do over for him. A chance to experience parenthood with someone he loved by his side, heart fluttering at the thought of it.
âCan I..?â He gestured towards your stomach.
âThereâs nothing..â you scoff as you pull your shirt up slowly to expose your completely flat stomach, no sigh of a bump or a baby.
Gators hand rests gently against the skin, exhaling as he looks down at your stomach.
âThereâs my world in thereâ
~
âYer first babyâ gator smiles as covers your stomach back up.
âDollie will always be my first babyâ you whisper, everything starting to settle inside you now. Maybe even a little excitement starting to creep in.
âYa really feel tha way?â Gator pushes up against the bed on his elbows so he can look at you.
âGator, I literally love that girl like I birthed her myselfâ you turn your head towards him and you swear you can see the love he had for you pouring out of him.
Gator let his forehead fall against yours softly, his eyes flickering shut.
âYer the best thing thatâs ever happened ta us mama, we wouldnât be us without yaâ you barely heard the words as he spoke, like he didnât want you to hear them. Like it was hard for him to admit how much he needed you. âFuck, yer the most perfect thing everâ he laughed breathlessly, the words he wanted to stay in his head tumbling out feeling overwhelmed that this was finally happening after being convinced heâd lost you for good.
âGet some sleepâ you whisper, nose brushing against his softly âwe can talk more tomorrowâ
Gator shook his head, still pressed against yours. His lips brushing against yours softly, not quite a kiss but letting you know thatâs what he wanted.
âDonât wanna sleep, donât wanna spend another minute away from yaâ
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