destruction of pack is a penalty

A lot of things lately have been a lot.

Really, just everything's a lot.

Even today's been a lot.

Rafael comes down the stairs from fixing his hundredth or so light fixture toilet bomb combo and keys his way into the door of the suite they've been sharing for almost half a year now, spies Theo playing with Diego on the playmat, and plants a kiss on the top of her head as he passes, moving into the little kitchenette for long enough to hastily assemble some bread and some cheese and some ham. He watches them play while he does, and once he's got it together, he joins pads once more across the room, sandwich on plate and butt on floor.

He hunches over, shrimps up, and rests his chin on his hand and his elbow on his knee while he, silently, watches his fiancé play with his son.

Eventually she seems to notice he's doing a bit more thinking than watching and lets Diego toddle over to a playset and get to work... doing whatever he does with that thing.

Rafa watches him for a second, then looks, sidelong, to Theo. "So uh... babe, I've uh, I've been thinkin'..."

Yeah, they'd had weather back in Seattle. Hell, Portland had weather. But not hurricanes.

The Cliffsides weren't meant for this sort of thing, clearly. Theo isn't really sure what exactly it was meant for in the first place, given how often they're fixing the plumbing and cleaning blood out of sheets and avoiding eye contact as a courtesy and a life-preserving measure. That Harford guy clearly hadn't done much with the place except using it as a puppy playground, which... Whatever.

But a playground it is not, and she's glad Diego is still at an age where he's not really going to remember much of the little details. She does worry what he'll remember about all the pain of being a werewolf, or how he'll feel about the love from his parents. There's no doubt they've got that. The love and the pain are going to be there for his entire life.

"Hey, babe," Theo says when Raf pecks her on the head. She props herself up on her elbows as Diego loses interest in the tag-team drawing they were doing. Raf joins her on the floor and she wonders what it is he's been thinking about, and whether she should be thinking about it too. Oh shoot, what if it's wedding stuff?

"Yeah? Hit me, Raf."

“Shark does sound badass,” Romy agreed solemnly, as though Diego had made a profound executive decision instead of just giggling into his tiny fists. She flipped the sketchbook back around and gave the shark an extra toothy grin and some cool sunglasses for good measure. “Okay, but this guy definitely skates like he’s got sponsorship deals. I’m just saying, if we get a call from Tony Hawk later, don’t act surprised.”

She watched him scribble with the crayon like it was serious business and smiled, that soft, involuntary kind that came from somewhere unguarded. “He’s so damn cute, Theo. It’s unfair. Like, I’m trying to maintain a mysterious hot girl aesthetic here and you’re just out here... deploying toddlers.”

Her gaze flicked back up as Theo talked about Raf — the proposal, the surprise, the years stitched between them like threadbare denim that somehow still held. Romy tilted her head, listening more than reacting at first, letting the little bits that Theo didn’t say speak just as loudly. She could tell there were gaps, sharp-edged things being carefully avoided. She didn’t push — Romy never pushed — but her smile softened a little more at the edges.

“Honestly?” she said. “I love that for you. I think people spend their whole lives looking for that kind of quiet knowing. Like — the spark is fun, sure, but the real gold is someone who’ll help you build furniture without threatening divorce halfway through.”

She snorted into her coffee at Theo’s offer. “Oh, don’t tempt me. I will absolutely show up on random Tuesdays just to do finger painting and dramatically exit before any diaper-related responsibilities kick in. The perfect auntie scam.”

Then Theo flipped the spotlight back, and Romy leaned into her chair, dramatically groaning like she’d just been asked to solve world peace. “Ugh, De Chevres. Yes. Still. I am approximately eighty-five percent goat cheese at this point, thank you for asking.” She rolled her eyes affectionately, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she continued. “They’ve got me doing the specials board now, too, which sounds fancy until you realize it just means I draw little cartoon baguettes and listen to a French man named Luc tell me I’m pronouncing ‘rillettes’ wrong.”

She glanced down at her sketchbook like she was thinking of something else, then looked back up. “But it’s... you know, it’s good. It’s steady. Which is a weird thing to say out loud, coming from me. I’m still trying to decide if I’m nesting or just too tired to run anymore.”

There was a beat — not heavy, but real — before she flashed a grin again, letting the moment pass like a leaf on a stream. “Also, I may or may not have agreed to help paint a mural for the community center. So if I go missing for three days under a tarp smelling like primer and regret, send snacks.”

Theo watches Romy draw, a wide smile on her face both at the fact that her son is having a great time and that the shark drawing is pretty sick. She's never really had that kind of creativity, it's so cool to see her friend do it so easily. It's like, a way cooler superpower than being able to smell when someone's scared. Or when Diego's had an accident.

(To be fair, Raf also has that unfortunate power. Just, not in a wolf way.)

She laughs. "Yeah, I used to have the hot girl mystique thing too, but every time I did, I'd realize afterwards there was spit-up on my shirt. So that got shitcanned pretty quickly. He's a pretty good secret weapon, isn't he?" In her heart, Theo really wants to add that she should see him when he's literal puppy, but that's a bridge too far into a real bad tone shift for this little meetup she's not prepared to get into.

"You do finger painting just long enough for me to get a solid nap in and I think I can excuse the diaper dashing," Theo shrugs. She shakes her head, definitely not missing having to figure out the specials and make those calzone monstrosities. She's pretty sure she has a few oven burn marks still on her arm, though they blend in pretty seamlessly with the monstrous scar from her first wolf encounter. "But, hey, I bet the drawings you do are really cute. Get out that brand awareness and all."

Theo sympathizes with that 'too tired to run' thing. She'd tried it, after all, thinking she could outrun Rafael until this wolf thing was 'under control.' Only, it never would be, and he'd never be 100% safe as long as he loved her. But... she loved him right back, which is what made the separation agony. And she couldn't rightfully deprive her son of that either. The fact that she even tried brings hot shame to the tips of her ears.

"Oh my god, that's amazing, Ro! A whole-ass mural of your work, that's gotta be cool. I bet you're going to do amazingly, even if they won't let you paint a skateboarding shark on the wall," she says, taking a sip of her drink. "I take it I shouldn't send an emergency Doughfellas delivery to your place though?" The young mom leans over and looks at her son's drawing.

"So cool, buddy. So good, I love the colors," she praises, rubbing his hair as he continues to scribble wildly with an abandon that's about to crack the crayon in half. Theo turns her eyes up towards Romy again. "It's kinda weird... this whole adulting thing. Raf and I tend to get caught up repairing the Cliffsides and watching this little guy... but yeah, we should try to make more time for this sort of stuff. I don't know what I would have done without you having my back back then."

That's what it's been since March. The Cliffsides isn't a fun place to live, it's not pleasant. Theo and Rafael keep it clean as they can, keep it nice, keep it welcoming. But mostly it's just where she hangs her head in between the times it gets to shut off under the moon.

She wakes up. She drives into town. She takes AJ where he needs to go. She goes back. She sleeps.

Start over the next day.

Aut's trying not to isolate. Trying not to vanish. She sees Elyse. She sees Kevin. She sees Morgan. She sees AJ. She sees Jude. She sees more of them actually, because she sees less of her.

But everyone knows somethings up, as convincing as she tries to make the smiles.

"I don't... think people get a good vibe off of me." She says with a mock-shameful laugh from behind Theo. She still has her handful of fliers, the only ones missing from where she's hung them in spots neighboring the rink or just straight up left them on tables or stuffed them into hands.

"Annnd I think I made a kid cry earlier." There's a pout there as she remembers a time at the bowling alley where the same thing had happened, too, so she can't even blame Lycanthropy.

"That's their loss. Besides, plenty of derby girls have made it big off having big bitch energy," Theo explains. "Not that I think you do. But you do have to have a thick skin if you're serious about getting your shit rocked by your teammates in a scrimmage."

Theo likes having Autumn out here -- she knows the other wolf has been struggling a bit recently. Not quite like she herself did when she first fled to Port Leiry, five months pregnant and freshly furry. She's grateful she landed at New Moonlight instead of the Cliffsides to start, but Autumn's not, like, destitute.

No, actually it seems like she's got a lot going for her, apart from some drama Theo has only gotten bits and pieces from, from both Autumn and Rafael. But they're pack now, as ragtag as Cerberus has always been. That's what derby is too, in theory. A pack of skaters from all different walks of life, ages, demographics. All ready to sweat and growl and slam each other.

God, she hopes this derby team thing works out.

"I appreciate you doing this with me," she says, fretting the corner of her stack of flyers. "Lot of people get too scared -- to play derby, I mean, not pass out flyers. Though, I guess they do that too. Everyone's so quick to tell themselves they can't do it, and they don't even give themselves a chance to see what they're capable of." Theo looks at a group of people who spot her and walk a little faster. Like she's about to ask if they've heard about her Lord and savior (which, sure, derby kind of is).

"Whatever, their loss. So, you given any thought to a derby name?"

The moment Romy spotted them — Theo, radiant and effortlessly grounded as always, and the impossibly cute toddler at her side — her whole face lit up like a marquee. She was already sliding her sketchbook out of her bag before Theo even sat down, flipping to a blank page like it was muscle memory. “Okay, so... elephant in a tutu or shark on a skateboard? No wrong answers,” she said with a grin, already half-sketching both just in case.

She leaned in to peek at the little one, her voice softening into something warmer, sweeter, like sunshine through café windows. “You’ve gotten so big since last time I saw you. Like, dangerously close to stealing my job big.” She tore the page out cleanly and slid it over with a purple crayon from her bag like she just happened to carry art supplies for toddlers — which, obviously, she did.

Then Theo said it — the cowboy drag, the proposal, the ring — and Romy’s jaw dropped in pure dramatic fashion, both hands flying up like she was trying to conduct an orchestra of excitement. “Shut. Up. Full cowboy drag?! That’s how I want to go out — spurred and surprised. That’s incredible, Theo. I can’t believe I wasn’t there to sob in the second row and ruin my eyeliner..”

She reached out and gently took Theo’s hand to get a better look at the ring, her touch light but reverent, like it was both a talisman and a badge of honor. “You know I’ve got like... zero romantic instincts, but this? This is stupidly perfect. I’m obsessed.”

When asked his preference, Diego looks at his mother like she'd have the answer. Theo smiles and repeats, "Elephant or shark?" Both are creatures he's seen in his baby books, but she's not sure if he knows the words. Instead, the toddler just giggles and hides his face, so Theo answers for him, "Shark sounds badass."

Romy is so sweet and her energy is just effortless. Theo loves that for her, and loves that Port Leiry hasn't managed to take that from her. She really wants to know how much the other girl really knows about this place, but it's never an easy conversation to have with anyone. Maybe her friend will say something that totally gives the signal for 'I'm cool with things that go bump in the night.' Until then, Theo is happy to focus on her own more human side of life.

"It was amazing. I honestly don't know how long he'd been planning to ask, but I definitely was surprised," she admits, sipping her coffee. "I mean, we'd talked about it waaay back when we made the plans for this little guy." Theo rubs her son's head as his chubby fist grabs at the crayon he was offered. "But with the move and everything... and we're still finding our footing out here and all... I guess I just kind of didn't think it would happen."

She almost trips up and says 'the wolf thing' but manages to stop herself before she does. It's hard to keep that part quiet when most of the people she's met out here are some flavor of Addams Family weird or worse. "Just a couple of high school sweethearts making it work. I mean, I don't know if I believe in soulmates and stuff but... yeah, Raf is my guy. No one else I'd rather figure this out with."

The compliments make Theo's face warm, but thankfully she's able to laugh and deflect with Romy's next comment. "Ten? Ooh, girl -- I know baby fever is contagious but... you are 100% welcome to get the urge out with Diego whenever you need," she says, shaking her head. "I think maybe... someday we might want one more? But I'd rather this little troublemaker is maybe in school first before we get there." She also has to think about the whole wolf thing and what kind of trouble that might make for another baby. It would be a lot to ask of Raf, but... they've managed so far.

"Okay, but enough about me -- what have you been up to? They still have you making De Chevres like there's no tomorrow?"

That hopeful expression blooms into a full-bore smile and he laughs out all that nervous doubt. "Yeah? Hell yeah!"

Not even high heels can stop him getting back to his feet at that point, as he fumbles to slip the ring onto her finger - it's like a magic spell itself, for him. A promise to be there, through thick and thin, to be there through good and bad, through, fang and claw if he's gotta be. It's all of her that he wants to spend his life with. Sure, they've done some of this 'out of order'. When have they ever really been typical?

"Hell yeah," she repeats, flexing the ring on her finger. Theo wants to look at it closer and gawk and show it off to everyone outside, but there's a performance going on already, and this moment is theirs. The girl goes back to kissing him until they pull themselves apart. Her chest feels hot with pride and excitement as Rafa gives his own howl. Oh, she wishes Diego was here with them so she'd have both of her boys, her pack, here. (But it's also better not to have the baby at the drag club for a late, loud evening.)

"OW OW WOOOOOOO," Theo bellows back, laughing. Her hands cup her fiance's face once again and she kisses him, and kisses him again, and knows that whatever challenges life throws at them next, they'll do it together. She doesn't know why she ever doubted that in the first place.

Theo begins to tug at her neck bandana and take off the extraneous bits of her costume -- one odd look in the mirror sees how much she's smudged her fake beard makeup in her excitement.

It's almost romantic sounding until your guts start playing around like a slide puzzle and you learn what it feels like for a joint to invert.

"But yeah I uh... I have and it sucked a lot. Lot of bad. I just... I wanted to track you down and I guess. say sorry for being kind of a bitch at you. Well not kind of a bitch, just... for being an asshole when you were trying to warn me."

"Oof," Theo grunts sympathetically. She remembers counting, trying to keep track while everything was fresh and new. It hasn't been so long that she doesn't remember her own turn-iversary. It kind of comes part and parcel with counting her son's milestones -- why is everything for babies measured in months, even past the first year? It's bizarre.

She isn't sure whether it would help or scare Autumn to know she'll lose track eventually, so she keeps the comment to herself.

"I wish I could lie and say it gets easier, but... it's more like you'll get harder -- tougher, that is. Find your rhythm, your rituals."

Theo wonders about asking Autumn if she has anyone close she trusts, to tell them about it. But she doesn't want to scare the girl off again. Instead, Theo gently rocks back and forth as Diego clings to her shirt. He's not usually shy, especially not around other wolves, but right now he's being wary. "Esta bien, mijo," she whispers him, giving her son a finger to hold onto.

"Hey, no need to apologize. But it's appreciated -- tracking people down's a little easier now, isn't it? Weird as hell, but..." She laughs and shakes her head. "Don't worry. I wish I could say being a bitch is reserved for one night a month but I was pulling that before I got bitten. And even if someone had told me what was going to happen, I don't think I would have believed them either. You, uh... got somewhere safe to go? Met the packs yet?"

Ultimately he slides the wig off, just because it's kind of overly warm, and takes a big steadying breath. "Yeah... Yeah! You're right, for sure." He says, gripping on his little dressing table perch with his hands while he thinks about it - he misses old, quiet life, too - not quiet, maybe, but the way things were.There was less stress, in some ways, but really, they've kind of got a cadence now. They've got friends - well, Theo's friends are his friends at this point - he still keeps touch with some of the folks from his stint at Palmer's but busy is as busy does, and the Cliffsides is a fixer-upper of never ending proportions. But he has come to care for Theo's pals - her little pack - and she does do well in a pack.

When she asks after him he nods. "Yeah, not really my strong suit, but I had fun I wouldn't not do it again. Maybe less of a heel?" He leans in for a second after the joke, like he wants to share a quick kiss, but he hesitates before he steps back and fumbles around for something he's been smuggling around all night. "Uhm."

"Theo I uh... I've been actually thinking a lot, lately - about you know... here. Us. Diego. Everything you know, how much it means to me, and how we have... really kept it together, you and me and so... uhm, well, to hell with it-"

He sort of fumbles there, trying to kneel down in chaps and high heels that only kind of fit, and, awkwardly but confidently keeps himself upright while he opens the tiny box.

"Will, ah... wl'you marry me, Theodora Blackthorn?"

Theo will likely be buzzing with energy for a while longer, thanks to the whole werewolf thing. Maybe another Jell-O shot or three will help mellow her. But she notices Raf getting a little... nervous? Maybe he was replaying their performance in his head and getting a little self-conscious. Maybe he needed a Jell-O shot too.

She is sliding off a few easy pieces of costume -- the hat and bandana for one, as the sounds of the next performers' song take over the speaker facing forward into the club. "The heels will get you. Killer calf workout, though," she mentions, catching sight of her fake facial hair in the mirror and deciding it's not the worst. Like, she doesn't want it on her face after this, but it turned out alright, stayed on, and doesn't look like a creepy TikTok filter. So that's a win.

But as Rafael starts to talk -- and stammer -- Theo turns and pays attention. Her heart is thumping loud already and she can feel her pulse in her neck. But as he says sweet, awkward things, her racing mind kind of catches up to her eyes while her body stays frozen in its spot.

"Oh my god," she gasps. There's a ring, and her Rafa, and a cheering crowd outside and for a moment it's all for her. Shit, he asked a question. He asked the question. They'd talked about it a long time ago, worlds away, in another lifetime. But not even the whole werewolf thing or the baby or the cowboy drag could change her commitment to him. "Yes, holy shit -- yes! Rafael Garza, of course I'll marry you!"

Theo doesn't even wait for him to come to her, as she throws herself down towards him, wrapping his face with her hands and kissing him fiercely. That's gonna leave a beard mark.

Well it wasn't the most direct route to where she wanted to go, that was for sure - the woman wasn't at the Diner anymore apparently, eventually, she'd found out from Jude Grigsby that Theo Blackthorn was part of the twosome running the Cliffsides now - that would have been fine, but then she'd been directed her back into town, here, to Primrose Park. A little roundabout - not the most inexpensive trip either in the Porsche, but she's finally sold off her old car - part of a play to shore up a bit of extra money to put into the bookstore, among other things.

Car door shut, boots on the ground, and she's a little nervous really - wonders if Theo will remember her, and there is a strange little moment when she comes upon her, with a little baby, no less, where she gets another glimpse into the idea that maybe things can be a little normal for her - 'normal' being subjective, of course.

She doesn't rush up on them, though, instead just slowly walking for them on brown, crunchy grass or the occasional patch of sleety, hard snow. "Hey, excuse me?" She signals. "I don't... I don't mean to bug you but..." Well, that's a lie, Autumn, that's... that's literally what you intend to do.

Now that they both work the Cliffsides, Raf and Theo are never really off the job. But parenting is also a job, one that they both share in the responsibility of. That doesn't mean they don't trade off small things, like taking Diego to the park because no toddler should have to be cooped up at that mangy motel. Even if the weather is a little less than idyllic, their kiddo seems content to go exploring in the city.

Even though Diego only spends one night a month as a wolf, he's definitely aware of how much it's part of his identity. That's why Theo is out here trying to help him get used to the sensation of walking on just two legs -- though she knows things must be much simpler for him as a wolf. No words, and yet his mother understood him perfectly then. Born to run wild.

Thankfully he seems to love the crunch of grass and powder and gravel beneath his boots, which prompts joyful stomps in and amid his awkward walking. But Diego seems to notice the other girl's approach just as soon as Theo does. It's not unusual to smell wolves here in Primrose, though it's with some surprise that the young mother recognizes the face of the one approaching. Ah, yeah -- she'd had her transformation now, she could tell.

"Hey -- no bother. I totally remember you. It's not every day you end up telling someone about the worst thing that could have possibly happened to them," she winces. Theo bends over to pick Diego up, marveling at how much he's grown in such a short time as she sits him on her hip. "I take it you've... gotten a whole dose of the moon stuff since then, huh?"

@sloedownwulf

It's crazy how much these outfits can dig into your hips - that's what he's been thinking for the entire runtime of that song.

Raf isn't sure how they did, but people clapped, and cheered, and Theo seemed to be having fun, and like, you know - its like X-Treme Karaoke kind of, so isn't all that the point? Having fun being free to be whatever and however?

A little extra meaning to that here in Port Leiry, maybe.

He picks Theo up once they're like, backstage back stage, and does a little spin thing, which sets his wig and tiny cowboy hat askew, and he plants a kiss on her before he sets her down and walks back with her to where they can rest a bit. Raf (Miss Van Queef, sorry) perches on the edge of a dressing table and smiles to her. "Well, pardner, did you have a good time?" It's a soft, but genuine question, asked as he's pulling his hair on straight.

Ooh, she’s all revved up after that performance. Theo had downed a few Jell-O shots for courage before their set, knowing the three and a half minute song would feel like forever and nothing at all, all at once. And for what it’s worth, she didn’t totally space out – she remembers playing the crowd and actually having fun with her pardner out there. Lee Van Queef – it’s fucking genius, she can’t stop laughing. The Good, the Drag and the Ugly. Fuck, this was fun.

It almost felt, for all the oddity and spectacle of it, normal.

“Woo!” Theo hoots as Rafael spins her. “I mean, yeehaw!” She has the giddy giggles, putting a hand on her man’s chest as they walk back to a place to get off their feet – but not before cheering on the next performer as their name and number are called out front.

“Oh my gosh, babe, it was so fun. I mean, I think I sweated most of my mustache off, but everyone is so drunk and supportive out there. I wonder if anyone recorded it,” she says, looking out towards the stage entrance. Theo reaches up and helps right Raf’s tiny hat, running her fingers through the tresses of his wig. “It reminded me of being back in Seattle with the team… I mean, I miss them a lot but… looking out there, I saw folks I recognize from the park we take Diego to, and some other wolves, and a metric ton of vampires – and even Jude from the pack is dancing tonight. And everyone’s here to celebrate being queer, which honestly is even weirder when you’re like, half-a-monster, but…”

Theo shakes her head and laughs. “Sorry, yes. I had a blast. I think I’ve got the post-performance zoomies, y’know? This feels… this feels like the community I knew Port Leiry could be. But most importantly, did you have fun? You are so brave doing this with me, amor.”

All of it.