i am alive! alive! alive!

We’re all multiply disabled and really really struggling to leave the house rn (on account of the covid) but we need groceries and toilet paper and stuff

I’ll add my links if anyone feels generous enough to toss us a couple bucks; even $1USD means a lot. I’ll also make this post unrebloggable once we’re more stable

c.a: $spaarkdust

vmo: @/sparkdust

DM for pp or if you have like. A gift card or something

I’m still testing positive for Covid (evil world!!!!) so money is still tight

$229 would help me no longer be in the negatives on one of my credit cards

If anyone wants to throw money at me to chip away at this, make the note “card” when you send money c.a @/spaarkdust, vm @/sparkdust

Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.

Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:

Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.

Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.

Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.

Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.

Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.

See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.

Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.

One of the common arguments I keep seeing in this community lately is some people saying "I am higher support needs, I just mask it".

But you're not higher support needs. You're not masking higher support needs. That's not what being higher support needs means.

The ability to do something, even through masking, is NOT the same as not being able to do it at all, or still having major diffulties doing it despite masking.

The ability to do something with mild prompting is NOT the same as needing physical help to do the whole activity.

Some of you have skills that have been learned, and you're trying to brush them off under the guise of "masking". Do we all like the skills we've learned? No. Do we think all the skills we've learned are easy? No. (Not even allistics think that some of the skills they've learned are easy).

If you're masking something like successfully looking after your basic needs for feeding, bathing, dressing, cooking, toileting, cleaning, etc., and you've been doing it basically your whole life? Then you're not high support needs.

If you're masking driving to work, and then working a full time job, then you're not high support needs.

If you are consistently, and successfully doing your daily tasks every single day because you're masking, then you're not high support needs.

Reaching autistic burnout due to masking is not because you're high support needs either.

Are you not getting the supports you should be getting and deserve to be getting? Yes, you very likely aren't. Are those supports you actually need the same kind of support higher support need autistics need? No, very likely not.

We're not dismissing the reality of you needing support and you having the struggles you face, but what exactly makes you think you're higher support needs?

The curb-cut effect makes streets better and more accessible for everyone, but this is still the result of combating a specific type of ableism in city planning.

This is easily understood by many, that even though a social force may affect many people broadly, it does have a specific target.

So why does this become so difficult to understand when we're talking about transmisogyny?

Transmisogyny can be weaponized against anyone, but as a social force it specifically targets transfeminine people, and thus non-transfems can leverage their position to mitigate the effects of transmisogyny, or indeed, exempt themselves from it.

This is why we have the terms TMA and TME, so that we're able to discuss this phenomenon.

If there's one salient criticism against this terminology, it's that the specific words used can trip up people unfamiliar with the terms; "affected" is pretty broad, and "exempt" is rather particular. This can be remedied by simply providing the definitions for the terms, however.

Start treating the unhappy "cis boy" friend — the one who prefers the company of girls and/or reacts to femininity in ways "other" boys don't — like the sweet, beautiful princess she is and help get her some cute dresses and estrogen.

And love and support her forever and ever.