i am alive! alive! alive!

oh wow the glass-tower office buildings we constructed when we thought air conditioning and central heating would never have downsides...have downsides?

and we're still building them?

while the Victorian house museum where I work, with thick walls and small windows and big wooden shutters stays ~10 degrees above (winter) or below (summer) the outside temperature for days on end with no help at all?

uh. okay then

Before Steve got injected the serum, he suffered from a lot of diseases as you all probably know. But maybe you don’t know all of them or what they really mean for little Stevie.

At first I wanna say Steven Grant Rogers weighed 95 lbs or 43,1 kg. He was 5′4″ or 162 cm tall.

Now to his diseases. Many people seem to forget that he had more than only asthma and if you’re a writer like me (mostly fanfiction *cough* Stucky *cough*), you probably feel the urge to portray the characters as accurate as possible. So here’s a list of Steve’s diseases (of the MCU) so you can do that:

- He had scoliosis. This means his spine bends in a way that isn’t part of the typical S-shaped curve, so his spine would’ve bent to the side. It’s not a life threatening condition but it can be quite noticeable (like one shoulder is higher than the other, or one hip appears higher than the other one etc.). Pain isn’t a typical symptom.

- He was partially deaf. He could hear but his hearing was restricted so he might doesn’t hear you if you speak quietly…

- Steve had arrhythmia, an irregular heartbeart and he had also heart palpitations and the more generic heart trouble. All these have symptoms like shortness of breath, fainting, chest discomfort, dizziness or feeling light-headed, weakness and fatigue. 

- He had high blood pressure. Blood pressure is the force of blood pushing against the walls of the arteries as the heart pumps blood. High blood pressure, sometimes called hypertension, happens when this force is too high. It increases the risk of a heart attack or stroke and can also cause heart and kidney failure. When blood vessels in the eyes burst or bleed, the vision changes or it leads to blindness.

- This may is the reason of his astigatism. It means he had a poor eye sight.

- He had also rheumatic fever at some point. It is most common in 5 to 15 year old children. It can cause permanent damage to the heart (what Steve already had or the reason for his heart problems is the rheumatic fever) and can affect the brain. It is treated with aspirin (or was treated with aspirin at least in the 1930s) and unfortunately…

- Steve had also stomach ulcers. They are extremely painful and can be caused or made worse by drugs like aspirin. They occur when the thick layer of mucus that protects your stomach from digestive juices is reduced, thus enabling the digestive acids to eat away at the lining tissues of the stomach. The most common symptom is a burning sensation or pain in the area between your chest and belly button. Normally, the pain will be more intense when your stomach is empty and it can last for a few minutes or several hours. Other symptoms can be dull pain in the stomach, weight loss, not wanting to eat because of pain, nausea or vomiting, bloating, burping or acid reflux, heartburn (burning sensation in the chest) and the pain can improve when you eat, drink, or take antacids.

- He had another stomach complication as well: Pernicious arnemia, which until the 20s was basically a death sentence. It’s a condition where an protein called Intrinsic Factor, necessary to absorb vitamin B12 (which is important for cell devision, formation of blood, synthesis of hormones - it’s essential), is not produced and the patient becomes progressively more anaemic until they suffer complications such as neurological damage or simply die. Until 1928 the only treatment was to drink copious quantities of the juice from raw liver (more than a pint a day) or eat half a pound of raw liver a day. Poor Stevie!

- Steve had fallen arches. Also called flat feet. Less serious but I’m gonna list everything. Many people have flat feet and notice no problems and require no treatment. But others may experience the following symptoms:Feet tire easily, painful or achy feet, especially in the areas of the arches and heels, the inside bottom of your feet become swollen, foot movement, such as standing on your toes, is difficult or back and leg pain.

- He had scarlet fever as a child, which causes a sore throat, bright red rash and can kill - especially because it can cause heart complications. (Maybe another reason why Steve has them…)

- He had a higher risk for diabetes because his admission form states he has a parent or sibling with diabetes. As far as we know Steve had no siblings in the MCU, therefore it has to be his mother because his father has been a soldier (He couldn’t have enlisted with diabetes… well, except he has lied on his enlistment form…)

- Generally his respiratory system was struggling. He got sinusitis and frequent colds to go along with his…

- Asthma. Which is pretty dangerous for someone with heart condition since symptoms of a severe attack can include arrhythmia. In the 1930s, inhalers were difficult to use for one person (especially if that person was having an asthma attack), but asthma cigarettes were easily available and consideriably cheaper. But they were hallucinogenic. Beyond this, in the 30s, 40s and 50s asthma was considered a psychosomatic condition, so talking therapy was used as a treatment as well. Steve would have been considered both physically frail and mentally ill because of his asthma. 

- He had also “nervous trouble of any sort” and easy fatigability. That isn’t a surprise because it has to be tiring to be Steve. So many illnesses to fight with… It’s also no wonder that he’s so small, considering that his body was under so much sress while he was growing.

Steve always had been a hero. It hadn’t been the serum that had made him strong…

Everyone is going through shit. And it doesn't make it okay for them to treat others badly, but it also sometimes makes it difficult for them to recognize that they're treating you badly, like the person on the phone with 9-11 who no longer realizes that he's telling the operator about his day and not answering questions. When your friend of ten years who has a new boyfriend suddenly starts being a massive bitch to you about your weight maybe she's just being a cunt, or maybe she's internalized some bullshit. You don't have to take that, but you Can go "Hey, what the fuck?" And that is often more helpful than you realize. It is easy to assume that someone who does something cruel is acting with intent, but especially in cases where someone's behavior changed in a short span of time, they aren't, any more than the person who is convinced the beanbag chair is going to fix them.

it helps me pay for:

- bottom surgery

- laser hair removal

- college

it also gives me more time to devote to:

- my writing

- Transfem Voices Project

- development of my game, Enter the Wyrm, which is playable now for free in open alpha!

thank you 🫶

it seems like the screenshotted statement is trying to argue against god but making biology into something like a creator god that grants things reality.

given that we live in a patriarchal society that sexualizes any overt displays of femininity, and given that the zeitgeist around trans women in particular is getting. worse. it has been difficult to find ways do express myself as a woman without setting off reactions that kick down the vehemently sex-repulsed side of my brain. every time i hear someone talk about how trans women are important and good *specifically because of how fuckable we are* it makes me pull back into my shell all the further. every time i see a terf argue that all trans women transitioning for fetishistic, preadtory reasons, it makes me want to cut off from society and flee to the mountains.

and yet far far too many TMEs seem to think we are naive to the challenges of womanhood, that we are taken aback by them and regret opening ourselves up to them. the trans women I know embrace womanhood fully, difficulties and all. transfeminism is a movement of women planting our flags within womanhood and fighting misogyny. we are not keeping one foot in some exit door in case the going gets too tough. we are taking an active role in combatting the forces that oppress us as women