Setting Forth

Every new year I am reminded of the new resolutions that the world makes as yet another year has passed. While some people had very successful years and actually met their resolutions, there are many of us who haven’t gone beyond writing them down. While I have been on both sides I constantly ask myself, why aren’t we all going for the resolutions and making them a reality rather than a dream?

Fear. I think we are all somewhat afraid of trying and succeeding. I know, I know. That sounds CRAZY! Haha why would anyone be afraid of success? There definitely isn’t a straight forward answer to that question, but here are some of my thoughts. I think that people are afraid to do what is necessary in order to reach those resolutions. Take me for example. I have wanted to stop drinking for years now.. I mean I can’t tell you how many times my family and friends have heard me say that I don’t want to drink yada-yada-ya. I think so many of us fall into social drinking because it’s what us kids (I’m 25… No where near being a kid anymore) do nowadays. I was afraid to take heat from others about why I stopped and feeling like I was ruining other people’s nights because I wasn’t drinking. I was afraid that no one would want to hang out wine anymore. And sure… All of that may be true to some extents, but not as much as my mind was making me think! Sure, it’s hard to stay out late and hard to be as lively when you aren’t inebriated but hat shouldn’t be enough to stop you. But it did stop me. Like I said, it stopped me for years and years. It has taken me until now, when I am thousands of miles away from my home to finally do just that. Now, I have only stopped drinking for 2 almost 3 weeks, but that is a better start than I’ve ever had before. I finally made the decision and realized that all of my fears were irrational.

Chef’s Table

I watched this documentary recently on Netflix and it was incredibly inspiring and very interesting! This documentary series has about 6 episodes that each follow a different chef. All of the chefs are some of the best in the world, but they also are all from very unique upbringings around the world. I have always thought of cooking as more than just calories in, however, we live in a world that is so fast paced that we don’t have time to think of food as anything other than the fuel needed to get through our busy days. How rare it is that we even sit down to dinner with a group of friends or even family. We live in a world where the way that we stay connected is now through the internet. There is nothing I appreciate more than hanging out with friends and family over a nice meal and drinks.. Just talking and catching up and laughing about old memories and all of our hopes and dreams about the future. This documentary series reminds us all of the importance of slowing down how we cook and how we live. The food companies now adays are only focused on producing as much food in the shortest period of time. But what these documentaries point out is for example, cow who are grass fed and free roaming on a farm versus cows that are corn fed (which fattens them up quickly) and kept in stalls, cows that are grass fed have a different taste and flavor than the corn fed cows. Most would argue that the food that is produced in more of a traditional/natural way are more delicious. I love the stories and genuine art that these chefs bring and make with their food. It is a rarity. Whether you appreciate art, are interested in culture, or just eat and enjoy food, this is a GREAT documentary series to watch!

THE REVENANT

Revenant: a person who has returned, especially supposedly from the dead.

My husband and I went to go see this movie last Saturday morning and let me tell you... I had HIGH hopes for this movie AND they were most definitely met! This film was amazing in so many different ways it’s hard to know where to begin! The directing of this film was SO COOL! But it would be a little difficult to shoot in such a beautiful area and not have it be beautiful. They way the film was shot, where there were some scenes that seemed to give you a 360 view of fights,etc was incredible! The camera would fog up because it was so cold which was cool because in a lot of movies it just looks cold, but in this film I head read about how extreme the filming conditions were. 

When I first saw that Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, and Domhnall Gleeson were all in a film together I didn’t even care what the story line was, I was seeing this movie ASAP! Its funny because there are not many actors out there who can convince you to go see a movie whether or not the storyline sounds appealing. I feel that way especially with DiCaprio but I also feel that I am beginning to feel that more and more with the latter two actors. I truly hope that Leo wins and Oscar for this role! 

The only thing that I didn’t like about the film were pieces of the storyline. There were parts that I wanted to see more of and other parts I thought dragged on a little longer than necessary. But overall the movie is one of a kind and DEFINITELY worth seeing! I wish I could have seen it in IMAX even! I would rate this movie an “A”.

Today I went to see this movie. I love Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper together so I really wanted to check it out. This movie is also up for a couple Golden Globe awards, including Best Leading Actress- Jennifer Lawrence. She did a phenomenal job. The way that the movie was shot was pretty cool too. I knew going into this movie that it got about a “B” rating. I think I would have to give it about the same rating. There were parts of the story in the end that I wish were better portrayed but it was still a great movie.

I just read an article that changed my perspective on myself and on life. For what feels like so many years now I have been at war with myself over whether or not I want to be a Physical Therapist or a Physical Therapist Assistant. I have gone back and forth so many times that I feel embarrassed and somewhat ashamed of myself. Even with those feelings I still haven’t been able to come up with an answer. What do I want? It shouldn’t be that difficult. I love Physical Therapy and being a Physical Therapist has so many more perks. But many reasons I have talked myself in and out of going that route. I have always veered away from being a PT primarily because of the debt that it will cause me. But there is more to it than just debt. Throughout my whole life I have wanted to be nearly anything you can name: A writer, photographer, interior designer, nurse, chef, therapist, lifestyle coach, teacher, self sustaining farmer, stay at home mom, etc. The list could go on and on. Something that I have always loved about myself is that fact that I LOVE so many different things. It has made choosing ONE career the most hair ripping choice of my life. How on earth can I choose just ONE career? How can I choose just one part of myself to go all in on? I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like very good odds.

Now, I know that I don’t live in a dream world. I know that there are bills and responsibilities that require me to get a job and to make money. I understand that I can’t do all 10 things that I previously listed off. An frankly, I really just want to incorporate pieces of all of them into my life. Through this article I have realized that I have known all along that I don’t want to go all in on one career. I want to expand on many of my interests, which luckily, many of them overlap anyway.

In today’s society we are told to strive towards “success”. For a lot of people success means having a lot of money and reaching towards that almost unrealistic dream that you have. Although I know that becoming a PT isn’t all that unrealistic, I do think that I truly haven’t wanted to go through the struggles or burdens of what it will take to become a PT. For years I have blamed it on myself being lazy and unmotivated. However I am one of the most determined people I know. (Yes.. I am aware of how conceited that sounds, but who cares! haha) I don’t want to have to work for 40 hours a week (plus extra hours to catch up on notes, as most PT’s do) and possibly work weekend shift to help pay off this huge debt that I have gotten myself into. I will blink and in the future after 20 years have gone by, I will not have had the time to enjoy my life and youth as I should.

This is not the case for all people. This is just the case for me. I have finally come to the realization that, yes... I would LOVE to be a Physical Therapist.. But for all of the extra costs (literally and figuratively) that come with it, I don’t really want to. I have always wanted to have kids at a younger age. I have always wanted more time to spend at home to raise my kids and grow an elaborate garden. (Yes, I am becoming my grandmother in rapid time.) I want to actually own a home that is mine. I want to travel that world! I want to study and read about as many different topics as possible in this life that I have been given. I’m not really sure that I WANT to become a master of just PT. I want time to become knowledgeable in many different areas. Who knows.. I may go back and forth some more. But this time I am going to decide what I truly want to do and whether or not I am willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to get there.

Cheers xx

“My life is not an apology, but a life. It is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

For many years now I have been trying to self reflect and figure out what I want out of my life. It has been a real battle… Let me tell you. One minute I think I know what I want and the next I contradict that thought. I have felt so much pressure from the judgment of my peers. What I realize now is the only judgment that should matter, is my own.

Easier said than done.

I am hoping to use this blog as guidance towards inner self. I am constantly looking to better myself and discover what makes me happy and how I can make the most out of this life that I have been given. Yes.. I am going to be crazy philosophical and find the greatest meanings in the simplest things. That is my nature. I am going to embrace myself, share books, quotes, movies, etc. that bring some sort of importance to my life. I truly believe that there is something significant in nearly everything around you. It is in those minimalistic instances that pure happiness can be discovered.