holding a flatline ♡

“It is attractive, actually. Highly attractive. Then again there’s not really a time when you aren’t attractive.” His fingers lightly trailed up her back as he kissed her back, completely lost in it until she spoke. “Traffic or couldn’t figure out what to where, or just having crazy sex with my girlfriend,” he joked, kissing her one more time before actually taking the shower seriously. It didn’t take as long as he thought but between kisses and laziness, by the time they were dressed and meeting the driver out front, they were already late but Jordan couldn’t find it in him to care. “It’ll be a total diva moment,” he joked, holding Cas’s hand in the back of the car, his thumb brushing over the top of it. “You ready for all the lights and cameras? Better get your selfie face ready.”

-

“Am I really going to be that girlfriend to your agent?” She rolled her eyes at that, but never really stopped smiling. Not even when they were getting ready. She could never really get used to it, the way he would make her feel. Casper was a stickler for being early, sure, but she was only really going to be there to support Jordan so she went by his flow. “Is that really how you want to step back into the spotlight again?” she quipped back, squeezing his hand in return. Sure she wasn’t much for being in front of a camera (she was getting better, though) but she did like letting people know they were together without actually having to say it. Which made this kind of perfect. “Not really, but they’ll be focused on you, so I think I’ll be fine.” Plus she opted for a more inconspicuous look. “How do these things work again? People will be asking you questions, right?”

“Oh well I mean if taking me in, is the goal,” he told her and struck a pose, flexing a bit so she could look him over. There were still a few boxes around, tons of paint swatches and catalogs. But they had mostly set up their room. Their room. The phrase alone made him giddy as he thought about it and as he looked at her in his bed. To think that all it started with a trip, a trip that was still his favorite til this day. A trip that had changed his life and made him realize that he was totally, definitely wholeheartedly in love with his dear friend.

“Shower,” he agreed, wiggling his eyebrows as he pushed off his boxers and threw it towards her with a laugh before he went off to turn on the shower. He got in before her, letting the water wash over him, smiling as he watched her come into the bathroom. He leaned back against the tile of the shower, his heart racing a bit as he watched her take off his shirt. “You are…so beyond sexy, get over here,” he teased, already laughing as she got closer. “We’re so gonna be late,” he repeated as he kissed her again.

-

Casper was quick to try and dodge his boxers he threw at her, protesting only with a quick·‘hey!’ and then a laugh. Genuinely, it felt a lot like home to her now. What they now share, what they’ve begun to build together. Well, it was mostly that he felt like home to her - and has for awhile. But this was the first place she could feel herself settling in.·

Undoubtedly, when she looked at Jordan already under the shower, she could feel her cheeks flush. Why’d he always have to look so good?She pulled off his shirt and dropped it off at her feet, and despite the way she rolled her eyes, her cheeks grew warmer at his teasing. “My bedhead must be real attractive to you, Jord.” It had taken awhile for her to feel comfortable when she was bare like this, but Jordan made her feel so desired and confident that there was no hesitance as she stepped in the shower. Casper couldn’t keep the grin off her face either when she approached, gladly kissing him back. She sighed against his lips at the feeling of the water running over her, wrapping her around his neck and going on her toes to better level their faces. As much as she liked being on time, Jordan made it really hard to stay focused - no matter the occasion. She only pulled back a bit then, grinning widely up at him and bumping her nose against his.·“What’re you going to say to your agent when we’re late, then?”

With a shrug Ben quickly glanced at Davie and Wiz again before looking back at Charlie. How did he explain that maybe they were acting weird because he and Charlie were acting weird. Maybe it was better to just… just not.

“What can I say, boys don’t make sense,” he laughed. He echoed the sentiment that he had often heard Charlie and her friends mulling over.

With a laugh, Ben shook his head.·“Yeah, about that,” he glared at her jokingly.·“I’m missing quite a few. My favourite tie-dye one in particular. Happen to know what gremlin might have stolen it?” he teased. It looked better on her, anyways.

For some reason, her agreeing to find somewhere quieter with him made him let out a small sigh of relief.·“Cool!” he said, quickly grabbing a can of sprite and one more slice of pizza. The house wasn’t small but it also wasn’t a mansion·— he wasn’t so sure where they would be able to find any sort of quiet spot. Judging by how busy the staircase was and how noise seemed to come from every direction, he assumed the top level was crowded too.·

“Maybe outside?” he suggested. He craned his neck and saw that the backyard was no better than inside.·“In the front, maybe?”

“That just sounds awfully self-deprecating of you, Miller,” she said with a chuckle, raising her eyebrows at the joke, recognizing where he probably sourced the sentiment from.·

Charlie feigned ignorance, putting on her best innocent look (which, she had an extremely good one, what with her baby face and all that), before pouting.·“Hm, I don’t know. I mean if a gremlin’s gotten a hold of that tie-dye hoodie of your’s I’d say it’s as good as gone,” she teased back in feigned confusion, knowing exactly where that hoodie was at this moment, “I don’t know though, maybe you’ll see it again one day.”

Following his lead, she stocked up on the rest of the snacks needed before stepping closer to him, munching on her nacho as she watched him look around.·“Outside sounds good to me!” She stepped around Ben, storing and tucking the snacks on one hand under her armpit and grabbing his wrist before going to what she knew was the front door.

Thankfully, it did seem to be the quietest part of the party, no one in sight at least for the moment· on the porch. Charlie sat down, dropping the snacks between her crossed legs and putting the plate down before tugging Ben down to sit with her.·“We gotta dig in before the pizza gets cold.”

Seeing him collect his things only made Nora’s heart ache even more. “Yup,” was all she could spit out. She stood up to walk him towards the door, tightly crossing her arms over her chest. She felt herself glued to the spot instead, blinking at him. When he made his way towards the door, she followed, lingering behind him slightly.

She had no words. What did someone say here? A simple goodbye would feel so impersonal. Their relationship aside this was a boy she had known her whole life. Her heart was telling her to leap into his arms, kiss him, and promise to try harder. But her head told her to be smarter.

As he reached for the door handle her head and her heart cooperated for a moment. She strode towards him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice muffled.

Davie hesitated as he walked towards the door, feeling his throat tighten with confusion and assurance and fear all the same. He pursed his lips, breath shaky, eyes glazing over. His mind raced with memories  -  of her, of him with her, of everything that’s happened. His first love... He still loved her, who was he kidding. But this only felt like it was inevitable. Before it became worse. But why did his feet feel so heavy?

His breath caught in his throat when she hugged him, lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see it coming. “Thank you.” Davie quickly wrapped his arms around Nora, holding her tight to him. “I love you,” he whispered, almost too softly, but it sounded like a goodbye more than anything.

When he pulled his head away, arms still around her, he managed a tiny smile. “Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” It was impossible, anyways. They were inexplicably connected.

   “i’m just fine.” as if to prove his point, he raised his arms and made a full three-sixty for her to examine. tae stopped to smile at her, feeling a little disappointed at their distance, but he would put off his selfish thoughts for the time being. “i wouldn’t call you all the way over here just to flaunt my tattoo –” well … he kind of did, but he most definitely had more in mind than just that. “do you want to go get something to eat ? maybe go to the park ? both ? something else ??”

rowan let out a little laugh when he spun around  -  of course, all the while quietly appreciating him  -  her face scrunching to hold back anymore of her laugh. “ohmigod! the park! food!” she exclaimed, tucking her hair behind her ears. was this a date? no, it couldn’t be right, they were just hanging out. “we can definitely do both. there’s a cafe i’ve been wanting to visit too.”

   “yah !” soorim hissed loudly, just enough that he could hear over the commotion, her eyes shifting from him and about the room nervously. she wouldn’t say that she was particularly uncomfortable, not in the slightest. embarrassed on the other hand ? definitely.  “i know,” she commented just as softly, her hands shifting to hold his cheeks gently in her palms. dan would never push himself on her, and soorim had gotten astronomically better with being vocal —  he’d be the first one to know if she wasn’t in to it. he almost knew better than she did. providing him with a smile, she stood on her toes to properly wrap her arms around his neck and bury herself comfortably. “i’m really … really glad you le- let me come ..”

daniel’s feature pulled into a cheshire grin the moment he felt her hands on his cheeks, almost purring at her soft words. he bumped his nose against her’s gently, still holding her hips, thumbs running up and down the fabric of her pants. soorim’s smile, however, threw him off kilter very quickly and because of it, he needed a moment pull himself back   -  they’re still in public, after all. “i wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t here, baby,” he purred, pulling her into another hug easily, “i’m glad you got to see me.” smoothly, he picked her up, moving and adjusting briefly so that she was in his arms bridal style, before moving to open the door into his dressing room. “c’mon i have to get out of these heels.”

   her aloofness never seemed to waver, even when he thought it did she was right back at it. it wasn’t something be paid too close attention to, it never bothered him — he would still be his same old self whether she wanted to act cold or not. in fact, this was a time when he would usually push his personality until she inevitable snapped her, but now didn’t seem the time. tae continued out on without hesitation, ending his practice with breath heaving just as hard as when the female had come in. he was still focused on the mirror, repeating some moves he thought weren’t quite perfect, his gaze flicking over to her a few times too many. “so late ?” despite dripping in sweat, he made way back to where she was, leaned on the wall and patting down with the towel he draped to dry during his last leg of practice. “technically you’re cutting my practice short today, and jo spends the night here a lot —  so who should really be getting the reprimanding ?” that was the extent of their little … tri-friendship. throwing each other under the bus to get min’s wrath redirected. “i’m here this late all the time, what’s your excuse .. mh ?”

she folded her arms across her chest when he came towards her, dropping her phone sloppily on to her lap. minseul was moving between the meekness of feeling like she could be open and the automatic response of pulling herself back like she usually would with tae. it was hard to do much of either when she was immediately distracted by the way his hair slicked down looked good. “i’m-” her voice came out steely at first, but she paused, eyes flickering away from him  -  allowing her to soften. “i’m not- reprimanding anyone.” her eyebrows furrowed gently, unfurling her arms away from her chest. “i’m just saying that this isn’t exactly any levels fucking healthy.” minseul finally looked back at him at his next words, rolling her eyes (though it was a lot less annoyance at him this time from the gesture  -  more like annoyance at herself). she paused for a moment before speaking up. “i just ended production for my last film this sem. and it fucking sucked and i don’t want to go home to mope because i already feel like a piece of shit and you don’t make me feel like a piece of shit.” the words seemed to spill past her lips without her realizing, but when she was done, she didn’t feel any regret. “is that a good enough reason for you?”

“Snacks,” he repeated eagerly, before remembering she wasn’t drunk·— just tired. She didn’t need further instructions. He cleared his throat and without realizing it his hand was finding to the small of her back.·“Let’s go, later guys,” he said, giving the boys a quick nod and peace sign before heading off in the opposite direction. Charlie was surprisingly strong and it took him a moment to steady himself when she began to drag him across the hardwood floors.

Of course, Davie and Wiz were acting weird, but in fairness, so were they. Plus, Ben wouldn’t be half surprised if Nora spewed all the thoughts she had on he and Charlie’s relationship, whatever it was, to Davie. And his had heard whisperings about Wiz, but he didn’t want to stir any pots.

“A little weird, I guess?” Ben scratched his neck and turned to look back at the two boys, who had already moved on and were deep in conversation.·“Who knows, though, it’s been a long day, everyone’s drinking, y’know,” the latter half of his sentence was murmured as he folded a slice of pizza in half and devoured it in three bites.

His mouth still full, he gave Charlie the brightest closed-mouth smile he could muster. He felt his cheeks puff up ridiculously at her words. He swallowed the pizza and reached to steal another from the plate Charlie was making.·“I wear comfortable sweaters for a reason.”

Feeling uncomfortable in the tight kitchen, he looked around before glancing down at Charlie.·“Wanna find somewhere to sit? Maybe somewhere quieter?”·

It was a bit of an anomaly, the way her brain seemed to shut off in almost the best ways when she was tired. Aside from the grumpiness, it really cut off a lot of her inhibitions  -  and really, this was the longest she’d gone like this. She’d normally find a place to nap by now so even this was kind of new to her, what with openly not caring all too much when she’d usually scramble with shyness. It also caused an oversight in her usual uncanny perception of situations, but then that was another issue.

“True... But I can’t be that late right?” she questioned casually, shrugging her shoulders before taking a nacho chip and dipping it in cheese, “They didn’t seem too drink drunk-y.” She ate the chip, the gears in her head very slowly clicking into place, trying to parse through the conversation. They didn’t seem to tired, either. But she could be wrong.

Her thoughts quickly dissipated the moment Ben smiled though, being pulled back to reality where she was with him. “Yeah, and I steal them for that reason,” Charlie said it like it was a joke, and not the truth. She couldn’t help but mirror his smile with one of her own, eyes crinkling with warmth. So when he asked that, to be alone with him without any other possibly prying eyes, she was quick to perk up.

“Yeah, sure!” She glanced around, realizing very quickly she was too sleepy to even have taken in the place properly when she walked in, “Uh... you got any ideas?”

Nora grit her teeth in a desperate attempt to control herself. Her eyes were already filling with fresh tears, she didn’t need her lips to tremble or for her mouth to betray her and let out a sob. She nearly flinched away from his when he put an around her. She wanted to shrug him off and tell him to leave her alone. She didn’t need him. Only she found herself naturally sinking into him. His hands were warm and comforting on her face and she no longer wanted to swat him away. Looking at him hurt. The smallest of smiles graced her face — a sad smile, one of nostalgia.

No, stay strong. She sat up straight and used her own hands to wipe her face as his fell.·“I guess we say goodbye.” She could hardly look at him. As she spoke her eyes focused on the window of her room, the streets roaring from down below.

Davie felt that spark again, of love, or memories, the moment Nora smiled her tiny smile. But that hurt all the more once the initial punch of happiness was over and he realized that it was only going to make him feel worse. 

But then he didn’t expect to feel worse so quickly  -  Nora sitting up straight did just that. He felt his breath catch. The way his chest crumpled under the pain made it hard to breath. “Yeah.” His voice was small, crackly. He knew this was the right thing to do but fuck, it hurt. “I-I’ll go.” He stood up from the couch and gathered his things, stuffing them into his pockets. Glancing at Nora occasionally as he moved timidly around the room, almsot holding his breath. So this was it, huh? He tightened his jaw, not wanting to give into more tears. He could save them later for home.

                                   ・   。   ◟     for    a    second   ,    in    the    quiet    between    them    ,    there’s    a    fear    that    runs    in    his    bones    .    he’s    an    acquired    taste    ,    he’s    learned    .    with    his    head    held    high    he    walks    the    earth    with    an    unprecedented    about    of    unearned    hubris    that    balances    on    his    shoulders    .    privilege    &    wealth    ooze    from    him    ,    an    aura    that’s    only    ever    accompanied    by    poised    glances    &    insults    hidden    within    unmeant    compliments    .    there’s    a    condescending    voice    in    the    back    of    his    head    that    chides    him    ;   reminds    him    that    he’ll    scare    her    off    because    he    scares    everyone    good    away    .    how    does    an    angel    learn    to    love    the    devil    ?    would    they    ever    risk    stripping    themselves    of    their    wings    to    love    a    horned    man    ?    would    he    ever    ask    that    of    bailey    ?    the    thought    that    usually    follows    springs    up    -    that    maybe    it    WOULD    be    better    if    he    scared    her    off    .    it’d    save    them    both    a    lot    of    heartbreak    ,    a    lot    of    pain    that    he’ll    inadvertently    cause    with    razor    sharp    canines    &    a    scarlet    stained    knife    (    a    wolf    in    sheep’s    clothing    ,    brutus    ,    with    a    tainted    knife    brandished    to    the    crowds    )   .    wouldn’t    it    be    better    if    she    took    his    joke    poorly    &    decided    she    was    done    with    him    ?

                                   but    ,    for    possibly    the    first    time    in    his    life    -    he    doesn’t    want    her    to    be    scared    off    .    tybalt    looks    past    her    to    see    a    future    where    they’ve   worked    it    out   ,    where    she    stays    with    her    hand    intertwined    with    his    while    they    settle    down    somewhere    cozy    together    .    HE    WANTS    THAT   ;    he    makes    the    decision    in    the    ruins    of    a    school    he    never    would’ve    stepped    foot    in    otherwise    .    &    when    she    finally    smiles    ,    laughs    his    joke    off    he    allows    himself    to    laugh    quietly    .    he    takes    a    hesitant    step    toward    her    (    hesitation    -    an    odd    concept    for    him    to    even    grasp   )    ,    following    her    slowly    while    she    talks    ;    reminds    him    that    he    won’t    fit    in    with    the    lower    class    that    easily    .    he    isn’t    one    of    them    ,    a    god    among    men    ,    blessed    with    titan    blood   &    graced    with    nectar    imbued    sustenance    ,    tybalt    will   never   stoop    down    to    their    level    -    but    ,    he’d    strip    himself    of    his    title    if    it    meant    being    with    her    .

                                   his    hand    ,    teasingly    reaches    for    his    heart    .    he    clutches    his    chest    as    if    her    words    were    knives    hurled    at    his    skin    ,    features    shifting    into    a    playful    grimace    .        ❝                   oh    ,    you    wound    me    .    how    will    i    ever    recover    from    this    ?    ❞    dramatic    ,    but    his    lips    spread    into    a    smile    before    he    can    even    really    think    about    stopping    it    .     ❝                   just    kidding    ,    i    don’t    need    to    embrace    the    essence    of    it    all    ,   i    have    you   -    you’re    my    guide    to    this    lonely    little    world    .    ❞

she feels a little foolish now. the clarity of it all is staggering. so much so that she can’t get the thought to sit quietly at the back of her mind until later, when she’d have time to mull over it sleeplessly in bed. but maybe, maybe, actually... tybalt is tybalt. that she’s just fooled herself into thinking that he’s so high above her because that’s what she thinks is the safest option. that anything else would spell a strangeness. because it’s not supposed to be like this. she’s not supposed to feel the comfort she does with him... neither is he supposed to be able to see her in the way that he does (and so easily too). but then nothing that’s ever how it “should” be has happened to her. not in the last year, especially.

his joke didn’t phase her   -   if not indicated by her response already.  she expected it almost, knew that he’d respond in that kind of way, because that’s just him. but his laugh that follows her’s makes her pause and finally look at him again. as expected, it’s still entirely distracting (maybe even more so now with the smile), but her eyebrows still raise playfully. “you see, ty, that’s where you’re wrong,” she says, noticing that he’s comes close enough in their walking that she can poke at his shoulder lightly. “it’s not lonely at all in this little world... actually i think it’s where i’m the least lonely.”

bailey’s steps wane as they reach a staircase, one of the largest ones in the old building, one she would use a lot last time. “and i think at the very least you’re starting to embrace the essence... maybe just a little.”  she pushes her hair back and smiles again, leaning her shoulder into the staircase railing, finally stopping. “plus, like you said... you have me to guide you,” she points out much too casually, especially with what she’s just come to realize (it’s the alcohol, it’s definitely the alcohol). “right?”