Slayful Stories

Tomorrow we celebrate our beautiful country, friendly neighbours, breathtaking scenery, and our national superpower: apologizing when someone else bumps into us. 😄 May your coffee be double-double, your barbecue stay lit, your fireworks sparkle, and your mosquito bites be kept to a minimum. Have a fantastic Canada Day, eh! ❤️🤍

“What is that smell?” There was nothing I could say. I had grown nose-blind to it. I had only known one time without the stench – when I was dead. In death, the smell vanished. There was only mountain air and lake water, so clean it cleared my lungs in one breath. I had prayed I would return there someday if that place was heaven. I had been lost in that sweetness when something crept up behind…

The bane of my existence is my best friend, Paix. Naming this woman Peace was an entirely wrong choice, in my opinion. I sometimes wonder if it was some kind of inside joke, and then further muse about whether her mother knew what she was doing. Naming a storm like her after a harmonious concept – one would think – was a direct jab at the gods. Perhaps her mother had also known that the child…

Judas Terry spends the rest of his shift working and worrying about the encounter he’d had with Hartley. It was unusual for her to speak so directly about personal matters, especially those she shouldn’t have known about. The hours dragged along with the inner monologue repeating in his head like a bad soundtrack.  How did she know? He doesn’t share these things with just anyone, and the only…

One day, I received a message from Farren, inviting me to meet with her again. I make my way to her office, curious about what she wants to discuss. “Seamus,” she greets me warmly. “How have you been?” “I’m doing well,” I reply. “I’ve been exploring the different roles and learning a lot.” “I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress,” she says, her tone serious but kind. “And I think you’re ready…

Over the next few days, I continue my orientation, participating in a series of learning sessions and workshops. Each experience provides new insights and helps to develop a better understanding of this supposed Utopia and my place within it. One morning, I find myself back in the Guidance Department, shadowing Elara as she counsels a recently deceased man named Thomas. Thomas has died suddenly…

She brings us to a cozy little bar tucked away in a quiet corner of the ATLC. Shugar Skulls is a lively place, filled with a mix of Reapers, formerly human souls, and other Afterlife Denizens. The atmosphere is relaxed, and the drinks menu is surprisingly extensive. Best of all, there is no friction or conflict. Just a bunch of deadies blowing off steam together in friendship. We find a table and…

I am awakened by a gentle knock on the door. My eyes pop open with a glare. Where the fu- oh yeah. I’m dead and these are my new quarters. I sit up, rubbing away the sleep and call out as another, louder knock sounds. Someone is impatient. “Yeah, man, it’s open, come in. No need to bang the thing down.” The door cracks open slowly, a quiet ahem precedes the kind face of Marvin Leduc. He steps…

Kelsey’s voice carries down the hallway to where the other Harvester of Souls has entered a doorway I haven’t seen before and brings with it a chill. “Welcome to the Afterlife Transitional Learning Centre. Today is the first day of the rest of your death. My name is Kelsey, and I will be your liaison during your orientation.” I follow Farren through the doorway, my mind racing with more questions…

One moment I am asleep, then I am awake, and there is some sort of shrouded figure where my housecoat used to be. I lie there a moment, staring at it and trying to discern whether it is my overactive imagination or the leavings of the nightmares that have started about six weeks ago. It is neither. There is this instantaneous and hideous sensation of my stomach being pulled forcefully through my…

Hollywood sure did get it wrong. All those TV shows, movies, books, and pop culture references missed the mark completely. None of those so-called “guides” offered real preparation for any and all imagined creatures I’d be fighting for the rest of my life. Our lives. It affected humanity as a species, so forgive me if I speak for all of us.We should’ve known better than to believe in obvious…

You want horror? Try finding your partner collapsed in a tub of water and struggling to breathe. Try being told by 911 to flip them over to do compressions, though they are too heavy to flip over and do compressions Try doing back CPR after your own bypass surgery less than 6 months before and have them stop breathing. Try watching EMS and Fire Personnel pull them out; they find no heartbeat.…

As the guard continued her task, the man in pinstripes turned his attention back to us. “Everyone, please lie on the floor. Do it now!” his voice was sharp, leaving no room for argument. We obeyed, dropping to our knees and lying flat, our faces pressed against the cold, hard floor. The marble was a blessed relief. My heart pounded so loudly I was sure the others could hear it too. Then, out of…

The air grew thick with a sickening blend of gun smoke, sweat, and shit. The scent of fear was astringent; if I could smell it, I was sure the perpetrators could too, though they clearly did not care. Those maniacs hooted and celebrated as if taking a human life were a party invitation. It was truly horrific, and while most of the shocked hostages cried quietly in fear, not one dared to speak as…

They say—whoever “they” are—that when your life is in imminent danger, your entire experience flashes before your eyes. That’s true for some, but it wasn’t my experience. There were no cinematic flashbacks, no overlapping images of loved ones like a torturous PowerPoint presentation—no epiphanies or sudden changes of heart. Nothing like that happened at all. Initially, the noise was…

I learned a lesson today. Wait, let me rephrase that. I finally learned the lesson that life and the universe and everything has been trying to teach me my whole damned life.N O B O D Y   C A R E S N O B O D Y   I S  L I S T E N I N G Literally nobody. I can offer an instance if you need proof – Yet again, I am trying to talk about something important to me, and I am spoken over or…

They just don’t understand and I don’t know how to explain it in any other way than to laugh and walk away. I’ve tried every method I can think of to get the point across, but humans just don’t get it. I mean, some do, but for the most part, they ignore even the most blatant signs. Truly, I have no idea what God was thinking when She developed these naked bipedal mole rats that can barely…