Well, Ahoy there!

Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?

1) When you call them up (or email them, which I prefer, because PHONE, EW), you ask if they’re taking new patients.

2) If they say yes, say something along the lines of “Great! I’m looking for a new therapist. Would it be possible for me to schedule an appointment so we can see whether we’d be a good fit for one another?”

IF THEY SAY NO, THEY DON’T DO ‘INTERVIEWS’: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, don’t bother to make an appointment

3) Assuming everything is a go, head over to the appointment. Bring your notebook, pen, and questions. Also, if possible, have a very brief rundown prepared of what you’d like to accomplish with your therapy (or even what you think your biggest issues are).

4) Introduce yourself. Reiterate that you want to see if the two of you would be a good fit, so [a nice little social laugh or smile here, while holding up your notebook] you brought questions.

IF THEY DON’T LIKE THAT: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, cut the meeting short

5) Give the rundown of what you want, what your issues are, whatever. See how they react.

IF YOU FEEL WEIRD AT ALL ABOUT THEM: they may not be a dick, but if you don’t feel comfortable with them, then it’s going to be a shit therapeutic relationship

6) Ask your questions — about their therapeutic approach, why they entered the field, whether they feel comfortable working with *your* needs (I, for instance, specifically told my awesome therapist that I needed her to tell me absolutely nothing about her personal life or experiences — as much as possible, I needed a blank wall to bounce things off of. It’s been years now, and I THINK she’s seen at least a couple of episodes of Doctor Who. I THINK. That’s all I’ve got. It’s amazing).

AGAIN, IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEM: go with your gut — your therapy is not the time or place to try and soldier through

7) By this point, you’ve probably hit the 45 minute mark, and you’ll know if you want to see this person again.

IF YES, say that this was a really great meeting, and you’d like to set up a regular appointment.

IF NO, say “Thanks for meeting with me.” If it wasn’t too terrible, feel free to add in whatever social niceties you want to lessen the blow (“I have appointments with a few other people, still, but thank you again!”), or you could just skedaddle as soon as possible.

IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, go a bit heavier with the social nicety: “I still have appointments with a few other people, but I really enjoyed our meeting. I’ll let you know as soon as possible if I’d like to schedule another one. Thanks again!”

Regarding current therapists: If they’re toxic, get rid of ‘em before you even start interviewing others. Nobody needs that kind of garbage. Otherwise, you could keep seeing them while you interview others, and then the second you find one you like (and you schedule your next appointment), get rid of your current one. You don’t have to say why — just say that you’d like to cancel future appointments. Do it over email, if you want. If you like them, you can tell them that you just need something different now, but that you “really appreciate all the work we’ve done together” or something. If you don’t like them, just cancel. They don’t need to know jack.

IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOUR LEAVING — and I mean anything other than a positive hope for you in the future — then they were a dick and you were right to find someone else. Who needs passive-aggressive bullshit from a therapist? Nobody, that’s who.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

beedle:

ANYWAY. He donated it to the local city when he died and now a local historical reenactment society runs it. IDK why I didn't know about this because I got married there. The only recent revelation is that the reenactment society will accept, say, any local madwoman who messages them out of the blue going 'hey u need someone who can spin on a period wheel?'

Long story short, yes. The previous lady who could hand spin was 87 and died recently. Peacefully, of being 87, and they've been going mad trying to find someone else who knows how the fuck to refurbish and work a spinning wheel. I'm eyeballing Frigga rn hardcore for that 'hey I should google that place' thought.

HOWEVER. I encountered a reality check.

Namely, Liz, the lady who runs the group, texted me 'omg do you know how to work a loom?'

Me, who has been marinating in a bubble of fiber artists online for years; I mean not like super well? I've dabbled but I've not attempted anything more adventurous than a regular plain weave, fair warning.

Liz; what's a plain weave

Me; .....

Me; Okay so like what kind of loom is it.

Liz; it's a big one (sends a picture of an antique floor loom)

Me; oh shit six pedals, nice, well, the heddles look in good shape so...

Liz; what's a heddle

Me;

Me; Yes I can clean it, set it up properly, and warp it. What do you want to weave.

Liz, after sending about 48 delighted emojis; rag rugs to sell in the gift shop omg omg thank you so much it's so complicated looking all of us have been afraid to touch it

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.

- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks

- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently

The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around: