kd;

hindi ko maamin sa sarili kong, di ko masagot ang mga tanong; kung paano at bakit, sa lahat ng tao, siya pa ang nakita kahit na siya'y malayo.

parang isang malambot na dampi ng ulan, nakabi-bigla ang lamig, ngunit yumayakap nang marahan; wari bang isa akong larawang kaniyang kinulayan at binigyan ng panibagong kagandahan.

The words cannot escape my mouth, for some reason. I didn't know what to answer nor where to really construct my sentences. It was like a hurl of heat-seeking missile, determined to obliterate my body there and then. But my thoughts immediately scrambled and formed a grand constellation of words,

"I am finally happy, and she's the painter behind this art." I said.

It was a late night conversation I am trying to get out of as I am not familiar with the feeling.. there really are moments when you are so scarred you cannot even imagine the opposite of that exact feeling, and she made me feel all of it all at once.

She became my daily overdose of caffeine and rainshower, the comforting and cool breeze of summer, and the cold yet caressing wind of winter.

She's my one and only in every season.

Sa pagitan ng kidlat at ng kulog, sa kahit na anong dako pa ng silid, maaari mo akong lapitan, kausapin at iyakan; dahil alam ko kung gaano ka napapagod sa mga ingay na binibitbit ng tao sa paligid, alam ko kung gaano ka nanghihina sa yapos ng usok na sumusunog sa'yong baga.

Palagi kong maipapangako sa'yo na ang mga balikat ko'y iyong tahanan, sa bawat kalabit at pagtawag ay ako na agad ang haharap sa iyong kagandahan. Lumuha at malungkot ka man nang paulit-ulit, sana alam mong nandito lang din ako nang paulit-ulit.

Sa pagod na inihagis sa'yo ng kapalaran, asahan mo na ang kapalit niyan ang buong kalawakan, katapat ng iyong pag-iisa, ay ang aking mga yakap at halik na sa'yo lang ang hantungan.

But there are times when I feel like I'm one of the strongest when I'm with you; There are days when I feel like I cannot move but once you call for me, I'd become Barry Allen; There were days when I do not feel like chatting, but when it came to you, words rushed like an unstoppable wave;

To the universe, we're just the tiniest, like a dust, wandering aimlessly, but you're one of the greatest, remarkable occurrence that has flashed right before my very eyes, no, not just flashed- something that has kissed and embraced my cold and heavy soul.

You were the tiny speck that has raised me to the heavens, my not so tiny speck.

In short, yes, there were days that I could just feel the exhaustion seeping through my soul. All of my responsibilities are knocking on my door and I could not answer as I was just simply paralyzed. But there she is, opening doors left and right and I have no clue how does she keep on radiating that amazing aura that makes me want to float around her entity.

She is amazing, like my coffee in the morning. From other perspective, it's regular, plain and just a coffee, but for me, she's an energizer, something I will always need every morning, something that I will never refuse and yeah, a lifesaver. She is beautiful, like that morning glare of the sun; blinding but great to stare at nonetheless. The beautiful you would never get tired of staring at. She's intoxicating, like a cigarette, pushing you to jump to another dimension and never look back again; suddenly you're falling eternally.

She's lovely, like a flower on a morning weadow; slowly waving at you, pulling you in with its fragrance.

She's my Polaris, my northern star and my only guide. My Lumière.

Kung heto ang pagsubok o kapalit ng isang habambuhay na ligaya sa harap ng iyong matatamis na mga ngiti at mapupungay na mga mata, handa kong tiisin kahit na hindi pa tayo magkita sa mga susunod pang taon. Pero hindi ko aalisin ang isa sa mga panaginip kong masilayan muli ng dalawang mga mata ko mismo ang pag-sinag ng araw mula sa iyong mga labi.

Wala na akong nanaisin pang iba kung hindi mahimbing sa mga yakap mong kayhigpit at mga halik mong dumadampi sa malalamig kong kamay at mukha.

Ikaw at ikaw lamang, hanggang sa paglunok ng kalawakan sa mumunti nating planeta.

Kay sarap mong pagmasdan, Kay saya mong tignan.

Ang bawat sulok ng kalawaka'y nagliliwanag, sa mga ngiti mong hindi mabasag-basag. Mga ungol mong kay sarap sa tenga't kalamnan, pampagising sa isang umagang maulan.

Kung pagbibigyan ay habambuhay mananatili, sisikaping hindi mauuwi sa pagpapalamuti; dahil sa pagkutitap ng mga pailaw sa kalangitan, ay siyang pagsaklob sa lahat ng nakabibinging kadiliman.

Ang pagkawala mo'y isang sumpang tunay, at hinding-hindi ito hahayaang mag-tagumpay.

Huwag kang lilisan, dahil ang kasunod mo'y kadiliman.

Under the searing heat, trying to follow your hearbeat, I lost myself in the middle, I'm dying, little by little.

Where there is us, silently cuddling on the sound of raindrops, sitting side by side watching the elegance of sunset, with you sitting on my lap as the sun slowly goes up, in stormy nights, your warm lips tracing my bare skin.

We have these long drives, where you'd just sleep while our favorite music plays and adore the coffee in every sip. Chasing constellations, reviving the shooting stars; going home just to have each other be flooded with warm hugs and kisses. Enjoy your cooking while I fix everything inside our home.

Tears are shed because of shared laughter and enjoyment, while we scroll through our movie lists, where our only fights are because we cannot which one to watch.

I wonder if in these universes, I get to be yours, and you get to be mine until the end.

I wonder if in these universes, I found you first, and decided to stay with me forever.

Because darling, we have also met in this world, crying and searching for our soulmates, and I wonder, is this the universe where we are chasing our own forever?

dahil kapag naisipan mong ako'y talikuran,

kusa ko na ring iiwanan ang ating tahanan.

Sa paglalakad, hahanap ng sandigan,

sa hagupit ng bawat hangin at ulan,

sisimulang tahakin ang landas ng kapalaran.

Sa mga pagkakataong sisikat ang araw,

titingala na lang at ngingiti sa sinag na tumatanglaw,

aasang kaligayahan mo'y manatiling naguumapaw.

Ngunit pagtigil ko sa bandang gitna,

alam kong babalik nanaman ako sa umpisa,

susubuking hanapin ang 'yong kaluluwa.

At sa tuwing ako'y babalik sa ating tahanan,

ang himig mo'y maririnig at mukha mo'y masisilayan,

mangangakong hindi na muli pang lilisan.

Sa agarang pagbabalik ng kahapon,

susubukang ikulong ang lahat sa isang kahon,

at hahayaang sumaya sa walang katapusang pagkakataon.

I whispered: "just like that star, I wish you'll fall to me and only me." and then the star suddenly just vanished, and I was already looking at you.

That night, I cursed the fate for the circumstance it gave us. That night, I realized how pathetic my soul was-- finding your soulmate that is already intertwined with another.

It was a regular day, with nervousness flooding my mind along with unsolicited thoughts and broken memories. With my playlist, I know I'd survive this day.

When I've seen you, I felt the electricity gathering around my head. It was cute, but I never assumed anything- for I don't really have any clues in what's about to happen.

Walking on the sidewalk, I saw you stop, but I didn't bother because I don't really know what to do, and besides we're not close, right? It's not fair to assume things, you know?

Falling in love, blah blah blah. Things moved faster than what I've expected. If yesterday I was just a melancholic fellow who loves to cut himself up and takes his time to be alone, today I am now somebody who thinks that my destiny just flashed right before my very eyes. It's easy to deny these things; it's so easy to forget the dreams we had as children; but what is not easy is to face the reality that not everything I've thought of will ever happen. The dreams of having the perfect relationship, the perfect support system, and the only thing that could replace the love that I lost since when I was a kid.

But then again, if that's not what is supposed to happen, then maybe I will be forever lost. You know, I talked to myself, and I wouldn't want to walk alone- and I only want is you. Selfish, huh. But maybe we don't need to apologize, because if fate is wrong in this, she should be the one who needs to be sorry.

I mean, meeting you under the very cruel circumstances was a very maddening prank. I never believed that I'd fall for someone who has devoted most of her time in loving somebody else. I just fell, you know?

And now I'd hate myself even more because I will deny all the feelings I have for you inside- but maybe this is for the better. Maybe on our next meeting, I am the only one you're going to see, and I'm hoping that we can make another run for it- or maybe I can finally take you away with me, I don't know. I'm daydreaming.

I'm sorry for all the things I've done. I'm sorry if I love you, and I was so afraid of losing you- and I just did.

But hey, like I've always said, I will just sit in a corner waiting for you to pick me up again- this time, maybe I get to be alone with you. Until then, maybe I will forever blame the world for how cruel it has treated me. I'll blame myself for not being enough- for being selfish and toxic.

If ever you'll remember me, I'm just here, waiting for you, just like I always did.

So long, my home. I hope I will see you again. I'll always love you. Thank you for stopping by.

If loving you means that I am going to fight, that I am going to be punished, or I am going to wind up dead, let it be known here, that I don't want any other thing. All I want is to do everything, with you and for you. That every angel shall sing whenever I point at you on the canvas of the night skies.

If loving you means that I am going to drown, that I am going to be broken down, or I am going to be smashed, let it be known here, that I would promise to wreck all of the adversities that we have, that even if I break, I promise that you will be fixed. All I want is for you to be happy, and if that shit's not gonna include me, I'd be more than happy to watch you from above.

If loving you, is such a great deed, just let me bleed; If it's for you, let's plant the seed- and even if you let me go, please just let it flourish.

Maybe if I keep on loving you, the seed shall grow beautiful vines that's going to lead me back to you.