My Fantasia ☾

It was a hot summer morning as we drove down miles upon miles of highway. There was an occasional breeze through the rolled down windows as I tried to get some shut eye since I’d had a restless and sleepless night just hours before. There was an ever changing scenery, from mountains taller than city skyscrapers with trees everywhere, to deserts will barren dried up fields and odd old western looking towns that could have been movie sets. My uncle decided to stop for gas and as he did my aunt went to get snacks, and I walked over a patch of dirt and rock to an abandoned swingset. I sat on the old creaking swing to have a smoke and clear my mind while I waited. We continued on driving and once we arrived in Castlegar, I scrambled in the car to change into one of my mother’s black dresses, and applied a dark red lipstick she’d have liked.

As we drove around Castlegar, a place I only vaguely remembered from a short visit during a road trip when I was small, we searched for our destination until we finally found it. The large grassy cemetery was in front of us, and we walked through the gate, remarking on the blistering heat. We waited for the rest of the family to arrive, exploring gravestones, some over a hundred years old, looking for long since dead extended family. Then the rest of the living onlookers, a few close but mostly unknown local extended family I’d never met before, arrived. Awkward sympathetic looks and hugs were exchanged while us closer, like my grandparents and aunt and uncle said how we hoped she’d be buried under the shade of a nice willow tree, or any shade-creating tree. “She always hated the sun, she’d hate to have to rest forever in it’s glare.” I said, laughing lightly, eyes stinging with tears that wouldn’t fall. There were discussions about who would be pallbearers, and I was furious to find out that I wouldn’t be  permitted to carry her since I’m a woman.

☯ My Fantasia ☾

Cool indie rock band recently discovered. Give em a listen. :)