MBMBAM sentence starters .
❝ you’re not my dad… like, later… LATER! ❞
❝ i was in my cage and broke out, and i’m doing just fine. ❞
❝ your eyes look like semicolons, so that must mean you’re tryna fuck. ❞
❝ sometimes, when god closes a door, he opens a bathroom mystery ❞
❝ what’d ya do, [name]? hey [name], what’d ya do? ❞
❝ i really do think i don’t have that many complex emotions. ❞
❝ i MIGHT die. i WILL get a boner. ❞
❝ does that mean that now, right now sitting here, i have a ghost inside me and so everyone is haunted? ❞
❝ but no - he was actually in a feminist punk band ❞
❝ what is your reason for calling aliens? ❞
❝ my ability to get off a horse is the only thing separating me from centaurs. ❞
❝ there’s been a terrible ham mistake! ❞
❝ because, apparently, i’m not allowed to talk about fifty shades of grey anymore. ❞
❝ how do you find a clown that hasn’t, at least, killed one kid? ❞
❝ oh yes, oats me, dog! ❞
❝ i brained him. i brained him real good. ❞
❝ oh, don’t eat those grapes yet. they need time to cool. ❞
❝ kiss your dad square on the lips. ❞
❝ what would i not do for $300,000? cause sit on a real human skull ain’t on that list. ❞
❝ i dropped a fidget spinner on my baby’s head. ❞
❝ idiot can’t even make his own pancake. ❞
❝ ready to go chin deep? ❞
❝ are you haunted? are you fucking possessed? you used to be my [brother/friend/wife/etc]! ❞
❝ i have not. i have not made ceviche for you. ❞
❝ hey, i came to court in a karate gi. am i good? ❞
❝ that’s a fucked up venn diagram you just weaved, [name] ❞
❝ remember last night when you punched my butt? ❞
❝ my cat took a dump in here and i’m dying! ❞
❝ [name], there was so much goddamn dumb stuff in that sentence you just said it would take us a week to tear it apart. ❞
❝ throw some fucking beyonce on your iphone and just blast it. ❞
❝ what i’m saying to you is that he has discrete jeans for sex. ❞
❝ now take some of these xanies and get out there and go fucking hog wild! ❞
❝ i told some kids in the neighborhood about how i was gonna die. ❞
❝ i’m trying to stay posi. i’’m trying to march into positivity this month. ❞
❝ you can either a. give me a free colonoscopy or b. dig a homemade colonoscopy camera out of my butthole in two hours. ❞
❝ you know it’s a sin if you wouldn’t do it in front of jesus. ❞
❝ you’re not right, but you’re loved. ❞
❝ are you a beanbagologist? ❞
❝ there’s a fucking wizarding war going on? i’m going to go get my fucking ged. this is ridiculous! ❞
❝ oh, wow, so, you are like, wanting sex TIPS? ❞
❝ i’m glad god punished blockbuster for their hubris ❞
❝ hey, [name!] why doesn’t the penis get fat? ❞
❝ i’m a fucking adult and they have no legal authority over me. ❞
❝ you can get a groupon, but everybody has to share the same thong. ❞
❝ no way, birds fuck me up! ❞
❝ okay, uh, i’ll test that theory - you’re an insane person.. ❞
❝ how do i make the garbage man fall in love with me? ❞
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