So this happened in a group chat today...

shark vs the universe

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@sirwalrusbutt
So this happened in a group chat today...

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Your life is literally a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.
Pigeon-Seal (talking to Sir-Walrusbutt)
It’s a very strange sensation to be pet by your own cat.
Pigeon-Seal: ~shudders~ Whoa this tastes like it was over mermaided.
Sir Walrusbutt:...
Pigeon-Seal: Marinated. I meant marinated.
Pigeon-Seal and Sir Walrusbutt watch the first few episodes of Seraph of the End. Sir Walrusbutt remarks about how in a post-apocalyptic world it seems strange that they can manage to get nice uniforms.
Pigeon-Seal: They can just go and steal out of the cash register.
Sir Walrusbutt: What are you gonna do with money when everyone is dead?
Pigeon-Seal: ...download the app?
Sir Walrusbutt: ...

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After Pigeon-Seal discovered a generator website she decided to try out the yes or no decider. Prior to browsing the website she cracked open a bottle of “Not Your Father’s Rootbeer.”
After a number of yes or no questions and lots of drunken laughter Sir Walrusbutt decided to give it a go.
Sir Walrusbutt: Is Pigeon-Seal actually drunk?
Generator: No
Sir Walrusbutt: Is Pigeon-Seal pretending to be drunk?
Generator: Yes
Pigeon-Seal was flustered because she actually thought she was drunk and supposedly “wasn’t acting”
Pigeon-Seal: Is Sir Walrusbutt pulling my goat?
Generator: No
Both laugh uncontrollably
Sometimes I eat donuts. But donuts don't give back. They take.
Pigeon-Seal
That's very observant of you Twinkie Pie.
Pigeon-Seal
Splat
Pigeon-seal: Even though we're both uncertain now
Pigeon-seal: we could look back on this moment in time five/ten years from now and go
Pigeon-seal: "why were we ever worried?"
Pigeon-seal: we just have to keep on going
Pigeon-seal: even if it's not the path we dreamt it would be there's something ahead
Pigeon-seal: I don't know what
Pigeon-seal: but there's something to look forward to
Sir Walrusbutt: I hope it hits me like a bug to a windshield then
Sir Walrusbutt: quick and painlessly
Sir Walrusbutt: Man, the kitchen reeks...
Dorkasaurus: It's the ghost of broccoli's past!
Sir Walrusbutt: ...

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Roccoli: (accidentally says diabetically instead of diabolicaly)
Sir Walrusbutt: ...
Roccoli: You shall rue the day that I rue the day!
Sir Walrusbutt: I don't even know anymore...
Roccoli: Diabetically, I'm okay.
Stoooop. You... butter, butter, butter...
Roccoli yelling at her word document... I don’t even know.
I gave myself goosebunks.
Roccoli after telling me a joke about “You're a lizard Harry.”
Today my laugh sounded like the beep at the Walmart registers.
There may be a lot of Dicks in the world but you are the only Dick that matters.
My professor. This lecture was about how there can be millions of companies with a common name (like Dick) but because names aren’t copyrighted they don’t have to go through paperwork when creating a company.

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I'm glad to help you word.
The afore mentioned sleep deprived design student (Roccoli) that also helps me remember words when I type essays
My brain can't brain.
A very exhausted design student (aka Roccoli)