
Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER

#extradirty

pixel skylines

tannertan36

Product Placement

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
h
Three Goblin Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith


⁂
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Keni
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@sirius170103

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"early bird gets the worm" see i don't know enough about the circadian rhythm of worms to verify that statement
i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper
You’re really good at origami holy sh
i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation
Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?
same bitch
Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼
listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:
it weighed 68.6 lbs
same hellion yes
i get so freaked out by like. pictures of really big rope
I’d like to say that’s normal but I’m a frayed knot
i’m so fucking annoyed at this, just for that you don’t get photos of the rope
i changed my mind, this is just too horrifying not to share
it’s called a Hawser and is the thick cable or rope used for towing/mooring a ship
in conclusion, i have nightmares beyond description
NO it would NOT be cool
well i fucken disagree
@scumrunner do you have any cursed facts about hawsers to share ?
As a fiber nerd, i am personally very enthusiastic about them….
Ohhohohoho DO I EVER. Meet the “snapback zone,” not an area with cool hats, but instead the unintuitive range at which a hawser can kill you if it breaks under tension.
What if we kissed in the snap-back zone? 😳 😳 😳
I don’t think you guys understand how much force this is, a tow rope used to move a 20 foot boat snaps under tension with enough force to dent metal, shatter glass and seriously injure anyone in its way. A Hawser on the other hand… Well I’ve seen a concrete pier with a chuck the size of a sedan ripped out of it by a line failure, and anecdotally, I’ve heard of a 2 ton heavy cargo forklift being skidded sideways, then knocked over. These lines snap with enough force to noticably dent the hull armor of navy ships.
This is a line designed to hold in place a moving object that can be easily in excess of 10000 tons. AND THEY CAN BREAK FROM THAT TENSION ALONE.
THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING RUBBER BANDS FROM HELL.
Nope Rope
NOPE ROPE
I’m once again reminded of its much smaller cousin, the haywire.
You’ve heard of the term, “Going haywire,” right? Ever spared a thought to why that term exists?
See, time was there was a prototype automatic hay-baler. But this was in that magic period juuust before we really got into standardized sizes. So calibration of the machine was handled manually - a mix of guessing and learning from the results of guessing. If you’ve read Raising Steam by Sir Terry Pratchett you know that many people don’t get to learn from the results of their own guesses, due to being dead.
A poorly calibrated hay-baler had the mechanical strength to smush the hay into a tight bundle, wrap the wire around it, and tie that wire off to maintain the bale’s form. But the pressure of the over-packed hay was a constant outward force. Each bale made by an over-tight baler was potential energy in physical form. We have a word for “potential energy in physical form” and that word is “bomb.”
So sometimes, a man would toss a hay bale and it would land with a twang and the man who’d been reaching down to pick it up where it landed was dead.
And that is what “haywire” means.
oh nice. i knew hay bales occasionally spontaneously combust, didn’t know they used to have an explosion factor too
I am learning multiple things today
Normally I’d expect wet plant matter to be less likely to go up in flames, but not hay bales! Those pesky bacteria really like to party in damp conditions. And by party I mean “create heat.”
HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm
WHEN do you ever feel that
the worms yearn for escape
The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...
@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?
After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."
So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.
awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍
oh GOOD tags:
#exact same thing happened to me after my hysterectomy #my single remaining ovary is just wandering around in there now. we call him odysseus #we dont know where he is

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Carol's Competitive Side
(Minor spoilers for Chapter Five's festival)
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BONUS:
Snowblind - Shoulder Angels
One came to save one lost like them The other to save one they couldn't save before
credit for text @sirspud
Reblog to save a duck
Quack quack
It’s getting to be that time of year where more people are going outside to parks and stuff so i thought it would a good idea to reblog this again
Once I was feeding some ducks from a bag of birdseed I brought with me, and this woman next to me looked so confused and asked what I was feeding them
When I said it was birdseed she just went “oh- can they actually eat that? Is that safe?”
I didnt know how to respond like, at all, so I just pointed at the duck and said “bird”
She then had a look on her face like a new groove was just forcibly carved in her brain and said softly “oh my fucking god”
i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me
to be honest i forgot he did that
I don't want kids so I easily get out of it fr
help i forgot this was all over some baby too
i wont even lie i thought he was going to kill her
about to read rumpelstiltskin as an adult so i can get the facts
The boulder pushing punishment is iconic. But I think more people should know the reason Sisyphus was punished to begin with, which was for cheating death, twice.
The first time he cheated death, Sisyphus had just angered Zeus by revealing the location of the Asopid Aegina whom Zeus abducted. Which is super valid, fuck Zeus.
Sisyphus knew that Zeus would send the god of death Thanatos after him, so he prepared a trap and trapped Thanatos in the chains meant for him.
After that, nothing on Earth was able to die so long as Thanatos was in chains. Which meant no animals could be sacrificed to the gods. This angered the gods, who made Sisyphus' life so miserable with pain and illness that he would beg for death. And so he released Thanatos.
But then came the second time Sisyphus cheated death. As he was dying, he asked his wife to dump his naked corpse in the middle of the public square. Denied a proper burial, his soul ended up on the far side of the river Styx, unable to cross.
He complained to Hades and Persephone about how his wife disrespected him, and begged them to let him return briefly to the world of the living to scold her and make her bury him properly. They agreed, and Sisyphus returned to life. He then embraced his wife, and refused to return to the Underworld.
It's only when he finally died of old age that he was sent to Tartarus and punished with the boulder.
I don't remember where I've seen it, but I like the interpretation that Sisyphus doesn't have to push the boulder. He can choose to stay in Tartarus and rest. But he was promised that if he managed to push the boulder to the top of the mountain, he'll ascend to Elysium.
And Sisyphus, in his stubbornness and cleverness, refuses to give up on a challenge.
One must indeed imagine Sisyphus happy, planning and scheming about how he'll cheat the gods next.
@heydocverdant Don't hide this gem in the tags.
His wife was actually Merope, one of the seven Pleiades, and she was turned into a star by Zeus along with her six sisters.
Maybe he's trying to push the boulder to the top of the mountain so he could have enough height to reach up and rescue her (like she rescued him)

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you can make most fandom drama disappear with this one cool trick
GET THE FUCK OFF TWITTER
i watched the pizza in the oven. i am now dough and cheese
By suan_ringo
Pokemon Heritage Post
Everyone stop doom scrolling and look at this little guy that showed up at the campsite.
A second rabbit has entered the grove
Holy smokes a second bnnuy?! Is that even legal?!
Bunnies are above the law
EVERYONE!!!!! HERE ARE SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT/INTRESTING RESULTS FROM THE NEW ARG UPDATE

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thanks Marine
Jojo has forced me to relax for a second
She wishes for you to relax as well