You've Got A Killer Scene There Man

your ligaments

damn girl, your ligaments

mutual did not see the post i reblogged specifically for them. 13 dead, 65 injured.

after watching the shrek movie i politely bowed to the screen and left without a fuss.

liar.

Ok i did the shrek walk. this site sucks anyway

i forget that biden has an actual wife and isn't married to kamala harris sometimes

you go girl! and don’t come back!

Romeo bout to catch some cheeks

"I could fix him" well DON'T, I'm trying to breed a new generation of trembling pursedog freakboys and I need his cringefail loser genes.

“Kill them with kindness.” Of course. Just make sure you do kill them.

Glad this one resonated with people the one downside as to living in the modern era as opposed to the past is you can’t murder someone and then just fuck off to a new city and introduce yourself as “never killed a man Tom” or some shit. Too many cameras these days

my name is Elmo Sesamstraße and for the last three months i have been roaming the streets of Nowy Jork trying to uncover the mystery of who divorced me

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.