SINGLE MAN EXPERIENCE

Is it possible for a man who believes in chivalry and romance be turned off to dating? I mean traditionally, it's the man's role to chase and court right? You know that feeling of excitement when it came to dating someone that you really liked? Remember coming up with ways to surprise her? You would wanna take her places that she would never expect and just being creative was a part of it. You would wanna pick her brain, find out what she was into, take her on these adventurous dates and watch her face light up with excitement and satisfaction knowing that you've been paying attention. If you don't remember that then maybe I'm just talking about myself but what happens when you lose that excitement? I don't mean losing that excitement out of pure laziness but more out of disappointment.

 The disappointment that I'm talking of is not necessarily because of a specific person or situation but of a collection of both. Some people get discouraged after dealing with situations that they wished they could've avoided. It also comes from going on date after date but not quite being able to connect romantically with the people that you meet. It can be frustrating if you can't exactly point out why you aren't making that connection but it can be even more frustrating if you can. It can be a number of things ranging from lack of attraction, an imbalance of sexual attraction over personality attraction (I don't know about you, but that's a thing for me), and of course real life qualities needed to suit me. That last one may sound a bit selfish but keep reading and I'll explain.

 There's no one to blame here. My best guess is that it happens. Disappointment over a previous situation(s) can be hard to bounce back from especially when you've already been through a few big disappointments in your past. That excitement seems to dwindle for guys like me. The reason that I say that there is no one to blame is because meeting someone new with a lack of enthusiasm may create a vibe that can make her feel like you're not really interested. That's when an amazing girl walk out of your life as easy as she walked in but one thing will remain constant...the fact that you know that she probably wasn't the person that you will marry one day.

 I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine who's been dealing with the same issue. We tried to come to a conclusion to it. The best we could do was agree that things in our lives are pretty good as single men right now and the only way that it should change is if we meet someone who can add to that. Yes, traditionally it's the man's role to court but wouldn't it be nice to have a woman really show her interest as much as you do? Isn't it also nice to know that you have similar goals? It would also be nice to know that we are on pretty much the same level when it comes to our careers. You know, the real life qualities that I mentioned earlier. In layman terms, I'm more attracted to an educated career woman. Someone who doesn't exactly need to know where she's gonna land but sure of where she is headed. If she has a personal, spiritual relationship with God, I'm even more attracted. That's my personal preference. I think that any reasonable man knows that relationships are about love and compromise but is that enough to make a relationship last? But that's not what this is about. This is about the fact that as men we do worry about not having that enthusiasm when dating. I think inside we feel that there may be a problem. It makes us question whether we are aiming too high as far as standards go but I do know one thing about myself...I'm not willing to compromise my standards at this point in my life.

 -Jose Gems Torres