B. E.

So I'm sitting here at the airport for the second time today. I have a career that requires me to travel a lot. I went back home for my grandmothers funeral this weekend and to do that, I had to take another flight for work right after I landed back home. Now, I'm not sure why I'm exactly writing this on here. Maybe it's just because I need to tell someone. Maybe it will make me feel better. Well like I said I was back home for my grandmas funeral (dads mom). It was already going to be a hard weekend considering. To top it off, I was going to see my two half siblings that I've always wanted to be close to be, but they don't want to be close to me. My other half brother (who I am close to) was bringing his new girlfriend to meet. My entire family has been fighting about the inheritance. And I have THE BEST relationship with my mother. Can you sense my sarcasm? Well my mom has to have her way when it comes to everything. I will spare you the details, but my mom told me this weekend "ever since you moved to xxxxx, you've become a horrible person! You are a horrible person!" Now if she meant it or not, that was so hard to hear. Not only because my own mother told me that, but because since I have moved, I've never felt more like myself. I'm happier. But that version of me is apparently horrible. I've been going through some other stuff and stressed out at work, so to hear that...I just don't know what to think. I keep replaying the moment in my head and it makes me question if I am a horrible person? Am I? Have I changed for the worse? Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally. Not the case in my life... How am I supposed to be close to my parents if I can't even be myself around them?

I got a call from a UK number last night and I answered. I have a few friends that live in London, Manchester, etc. So it’s some dude name Mike that calls. I have no idea who Mike is, but Mike knows me...lol Then another girl gets on the phone who I think I know who it is but then she starts talking to me about some party I was at and I have no idea what she’s talking about. Meanwhile, I’m at a party with people from work and everyone is looking at me like why the fuck are you on the phone? So I hang up. My boss looks at me and I tell him the situation and he tells me, “WTF Brooke? How are you always meeting/hanging out with people from London?! We live in America and you always seem to find the British people.” So I say, “Idk..Its like a have a radar for British people. Well that or my ears just follow the sound of their accent :D.”