Sims 2 Stuff

This is an update to AriesFlare's awesome Professional Comedian Career. I corrected some errors and switched some things to make more sense, but tried to keep as much as possible since I love the original :)

1. People Person Lv. 1  Th, F, Sa, S / 17:00—0:00

Salary: §185 / Promotion: 1 Charisma, 1 Friend You have a long way to go before you become a funny man who makes big cash. You should go out more and mingle with people. It's your mission to interact so that others can react. You should also work on your charisma in the process. You have a long way to go before you become a funny woman who makes big cash. You should go out more and mingle with people. It's your mission to interact so that others can react. You should also work on your charisma in the process.

Chance Card (50%): $Me is invited to an outing by a close friend of his. During a snack, one of $Me's friends just so happens to bring up a disturbing article in the news about a masked serial killer on the loose. Should $Me poke fun at the article to lift spirits or should he just find empathy for the victims? $Me is invited to an outing by a close friend of hers. During a snack, one of $Me's friends just so happens to bring up a disturbing article in the news about a masked serial killer on the loose. Should $Me poke fun at the article to lift spirits or should she just find empathy for the victims?

A. Make fun of article Req. for success: 1 Charisma

✅ Success: $Me feels an urge to be witty at the moment. He takes the paper and stares at it long and hard for a few seconds, then says, "Wow. There's finally some action in town." $Me's friends chuckle for a bit at the comment. $Me has gained 1 charisma point. ✅ Success: $Me feels an urge to be witty at the moment. She takes the paper and stares at it long and hard for a few seconds, then says, "Wow. There's finally some action in town." $Me's friends chuckle for a bit at the comment. $Me has gained 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: $Me suddenly feels the urge to poke fun at the article. "Yay! There is finally some action in this town!" $Me's friends stare at him with shocked expressions. "This is not funny, $Me. What's wrong with you?" $Me is embarrassed over his comment. $Me loses 1 charisma point. ❌ Failure: $Me suddenly feels the urge to poke fun at the article. "Yay! There is finally some action in this town!" $Me's friends stare at her with shocked expressions. "This is not funny, $Me. What's wrong with you?" $Me is embarrassed over her comment. $Me loses 1 charisma point.

B. Show sympathy for victims Req. for success: 1 Charisma

✅ Success: This is not a laughing matter. $Me responds to the article by saying, "How terrible for the victims. Let's find a way to help out." $Me and his friends think of a way to support the victims' families. $Me gains 1 creativity point. ✅ Success: This is not a laughing matter. $Me responds to the article by saying, "How terrible for the victims. Let's find a way to help out." $Me and her friends think of a way to support the victims' families. $Me gains 1 creativity point.

❌ Failure: $Me shows sympathy for the victims and gets carried away. He goes on about theories of how the killer is hiding and lurking. $Me loses a charisma point for scaring his friends. ❌ Failure: $Me shows sympathy for the victims and gets carried away. She goes on about theories of how the killer is hiding and lurking. $Me loses a charisma point for scaring her friends.

2. Comedy Class Student Lv. 2  M, T, W, Th / 14:00—22:00

Salary: §215 / Promotion: 2 Charisma, 1 Creativity, 1 Friend As a potential comedian, it's best that you still keep a job. Becoming a comedian will not come fast. Since you aren't sure how funny you are, you should find your inner jokester in a comedy class. Comedy class will give you the opportunity to exercise awareness in society.

Chance Card (40%): Today in comedy class, $Me has to do a stand-up assignment in front of his classmates. $Me has no idea what to joke about and he will be next to perform. What should $me joke about? Today in comedy class, $Me has to do a stand-up assignment in front of her classmates. $Me has no idea what to joke about and she will be next to perform. What should $Me joke about?

A. Joke about the class Req. for success: 1 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me's time has come to perform in the class. Everyone seems to be in a good mood due to the previous performances. $Me stands up front and pokes fun at how he feels like he's back in high school. $Me says, "When I started this class, I thought I went back to high school. The only difference is that I get graded on being the class clown!" The class laughs, and $Me gains 1 charisma point. ✅ Success: $Me's time has come to perform in the class. Everyone seems to be in a good mood due to the previous performances. $Me stands up front and pokes fun at how she feels like she's back in high school. $Me says, "When I started this class, I thought I went back to high school. The only difference is that I get graded on being the class clown!" The class laughs, and $Me gains 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: $Me’s turn to do a stand-up act is next. $Me has been watching lots of raunchy comedy, so he decides to take a big risk for big laughs. “This reminds me of high school, except this time I didn’t sleep with the teacher—yet!” $Me delivers a big, animated wink to the teacher, just in time to see her horrified expression and his classmates shake their heads in disgust. $Me is asked to leave and find a different comedy class. ❌ Failure: $Me’s turn to do a stand-up act is next. $Me has been watching lots of raunchy comedy, so she decides to take a big risk for big laughs. “This reminds me of high school, except this time I didn’t sleep with the teacher—yet!” $Me delivers a big, animated wink to the teacher, just in time to see her horrified expression and her classmates shake their heads in disgust. $Me is asked to leave and find a different comedy class.

B. Do a comic performance about your friend Req. for success: 1 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me strides to the front with confidence. "My friend Fred, he brought a ladder to the bar. Do you know why? Because he heard drinks were on the house!" $Me’s classmates howl with laughter. $Me gains 1 charisma point. ✅ Success: $Me strides to the front with confidence. "My friend Frida, she brought a ladder to the bar. Do you know why? Because she heard drinks were on the house!" $Me’s classmates howl with laughter. $Me gains 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: $Me whips out some stories about Fred. The instructor and classmates grow bored of $Me's ongoing topic. $Me loses 1 point of charisma. ❌ Failure: $Me whips out some stories about Frida. The instructor and classmates grow bored of $Me's ongoing topic. $Me loses 1 point of charisma.

3. Smile Cracker Lv. 3  Th, F, Sa, S / 17:00—1:00

Salary: §295 / Promotion: 3 Charisma, 2 Creativity, 3 Friends After taking up those comedy classes, you have become the life of the party. Though you are somewhat funnier than you used to be, you still are not at the position of the great comedians. It's now your duty to observe others more and make it your goal to find anything funny no matter how critical a condition may be.

Chance Card (50%): $Me was invited to a group outing with friends. During the outing, his friend's sister Rachel was a bit down over a break-up. Should $Me try to make her smile, or should he just leave her alone? $Me was invited to a group outing with friends. During the outing, her friend's sister Rachel was a bit down over a break-up. Should $Me try to make her smile, or should she just leave her alone?

A. Make her smile Req. for success: 3 Charisma

✅ Success: $Me tries to comfort Rachel with a joke. All effort is not lost. After a short and funny conversation between the two, Rachel feels a bit better and $Me earns a charisma point.

❌ Failure: $Me wants to see Rachel smile. He can't stand seeing people all doom and gloom around him. $Me finally makes a remark to Rachel about her ex. Rachel becomes highly offended at the remark, and $Me loses 1 charisma point. ❌ Failure: $Me wants to see Rachel smile. She can't stand seeing people all doom and gloom around her. $Me finally makes a remark to Rachel about her ex. Rachel becomes highly offended at the remark, and $Me loses 1 charisma point.

B. Leave her be Req. for success: 2 Charisma

✅ Success: $Me understands that people need their space when they just broke from a relationship. $Me mingles with the rest of his friends and tries to create a light-hearted atmosphere. Over time, Rachel begins to feel better in the presence of $Me. $Me has gained 1 charisma point. ✅ Success: $Me understands that people need their space when they just broke from a relationship. $Me mingles with the rest of her friends and tries to create a light-hearted atmosphere. Over time, Rachel begins to feel better in the presence of $Me. $Me has gained 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: $Me makes the decision to leave Rachel be. Rachel keeps to herself and $Me notices her drinking a lot. Rachel ends up getting sick and leaving early. $Me wishes he had thought of a way to include her. $Me loses 1 creativity point. ❌ Failure: $Me makes the decision to leave Rachel be. Rachel keeps to herself and $Me notices her drinking a lot. Rachel ends up getting sick and leaving early. $Me wishes she had thought of a way to include her. $Me loses 1 creativity point.

4. Comedy Club Seeker Lv. 4  Th, F, Sa, S / 15:00—0:00

Salary: §325 / Promotion: 1 Body, 3 Charisma, 3 Creativity, 5 Friends Every day of the week you search for the best comic clubs. You went through classes, made people spit their milk, and now you think you know comedy ilke the back of your hand. You really have not started yet. It's easy to make your friend Fred laugh. Fred laughs at everything. Your duty is to go to the local comedy clubs and performances. It's time to observe some higher-ups on the stage. It's time to see the big picture.

Every day of the week you search for the best comic clubs. You went through classes, made people spit their milk, and now you think you know comedy like the back of your hand. You really have not started yet. It's easy to make your friend Frida laugh. Frida laughs at everything. Your duty is to go to the local comedy clubs and performances. It's time to observe some higher-ups on the stage. It's time to see the big picture.

Chance Card (30%): $Me is having a bit of a time deciding which comedy club to attend tonight. There are two comedy clubs nearby, "Roy's Hangout" & "Alpha 7". Both clubs are said to be great. Which nightclub should $Me attend?

A. Alpha 7 Req. for success: 3 Charisma, 2 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me makes the decision to have a laugh at Alpha 7. $Me can't help but marvel at the fluidity of one of the comics known as Lucy Loco. When a heckler tries to throw her off, she doesn’t miss a beat—turning their interruption into the highlight of the night. Lucy twists their words into a punchline so devastatingly funny that the entire room erupts in laughter. The heckler has no choice but to sit back down, defeated but entertained. $Me has gained ideas for new material along with 2 creativity points.

❌ Failure: $Me decides to check out Alpha 7. Unfortunately, the night takes a turn when a relentless heckler refuses to back down. The audience’s laughter fades into awkward murmurs, and soon, the energy in the room is completely drained. Frustrated, the comedian cuts her set short, shaking her head as she leaves the stage. $Me leaves feeling secondhand embarrassment and loses 1 charisma point.

B. Roy’s Hangout Req. for success: 1 Body

✅ Success: Roy's Hangout is a little further down the road, but $Me feels up for the walk. Once there, $Me can't help but marvel at the talent of one of the comics known as Van Coble. Van Coble's act lasts for 10 minutes and it's hilarious. The comedy is full of punchlines and the audience has a great time. $Me gains ideas for new material along with 2 creativity points.

❌ Failure: Roy's Hangout was a little further down the road, but $Me felt up for the walk. Unfortunately he misjudged. By the time $Me arrived at Roy’s Hangout, legendary local comic Van Coble was already finishing his set. $Me hung out to see the next comic, but the guy turned out to be a hack with tired jokes. $Me arrived home with tired feet, feeling uninspired. $Me lost a creativity point. ❌ Failure: Roy's Hangout was a little further down the road, but $Me felt up for the walk. Unfortunately she misjudged. By the time $Me arrived at Roy’s Hangout, legendary local comic Van Coble was already finishing his set. $Me hung out to see the next comic, but the guy turned out to be a hack with tired jokes. $Me arrived home with tired feet, feeling uninspired. $Me lost a creativity point.

5. Open Mic-Man Lv. 5 / Open Mic-Woman Lv. 5   Th, F, Sa, S / 18:00—2:00

Salary: §450 / Promotion: 3 Body, 4 Charisma, 4 Creativity, 6 Friends Your boldness has pushed you a few more steps. Making friends and getting exposure at the comedy clubs has given you the chance to perform on stage.

Chance Card (50%): $Me is ready for his very first performance at Club Bling. The club manager, Bling Cash, makes sure $Me is comfortable and set for the stage. $Me has written 2 scripts for his stand-up material. Should he use the "Bad Hygiene Script" or "Bathroom Dream Script"? $Me is ready for her very first performance at Club Bling. The club manager, Bling Cash, makes sure $Me is comfortable and set for the stage. $Me has written 2 scripts for her stand-up material. Should she use the "Bad Hygiene Script" or "Bathroom Dream Script"?

A. Bad Hygiene Script Req. for success: 3 Charisma, 4 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me takes a deep breath and steps onto the stage at Club Bling, gripping the mic with steady hands. As soon as $Me launches into the Bad Hygiene Script, the audience is hooked. Every punchline landed perfectly—groans of recognition mixed with bursts of laughter as $Me masterfully exaggerates the horrors of public transportation odors and suspiciously damp handshakes. Even Bling Cash is wiping away tears of laughter from the back of the room. By the time $Me wraps up, the crowd erupts in applause. Bling gives an approving nod and pulls $Me aside after the show. "That was solid work, kid. How about a regular spot?" $Me has gained 1 charisma point and has been promoted!

❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the stage at Club Bling, ready to deliver the Bad Hygiene Script. But from the first joke, the audience’s reaction is... off. A few chuckles, some awkward coughs, and one guy near the front muttering, “Gross.” Panic sets in. $Me pushes forward, but the silence grows heavier. Someone fake gags. Another checks their watch. By the final punchline, even Bling Cash looks unimpressed. $Me has lost 1 charisma point.

B. Bathroom Dream Script Req. for success: 3 Charisma, 4 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me takes the stage at Club Bling, nerves settling as the mic feels right at home in his hand. The Bathroom Dream Script starts strong—describing that bizarre half-awake panic of searching for a toilet that never quite exists. The crowd relates instantly, laughter building with every absurd twist. By the final punchline, people are wiping away tears, completely hooked. After the show, a man in a sleek suit approaches $Me, grinning. "Name’s Stan Biggs," he says, offering a firm handshake. "I own a nightclub, and I need a solid comedian. You interested?" Biggs' club turns out to be great experience for $Me, who gains 1 charisma and 1 creativity point!

❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the stage at Club Bling, ready to deliver the Bathroom Dream Script. But from the first joke, the audience’s reaction is... off. A few chuckles, some awkward coughs, and one guy near the front muttering, “Gross.” Panic sets in. $Me pushes forward, but the silence grows heavier. Someone fake gags. Another checks their watch. By the final punchline, even Bling Cash looks unimpressed. $Me has lost 1 charisma point.

6. Amateur Comedian Lv. 6  Th, F, Sa, S / 18:00—2:00

Salary: §585 / Promotion: 5 Body, 5 Charisma, 5 Creativity, 7 Friends Don't turn back now. You have made it to Amateur Comedian. Making others laugh is challenging. With your practice and people skills, nothing is impossible for you. As an amateur comedian, you will be attracting many people from all walks of life. Make sure your style makes others smile.

Chance Card (60%): Local legend Stan Biggs has heard that a famous movie producer is coming to town and has scheduled a party at his club. He wants $Me to perform at the party as part of the entertainment. Stan Biggs wants $Me to come up with the best material he can bring to the table. What should $Me come up with? Local legend Stan Biggs has heard that a famous movie producer is coming to town and has scheduled a party at his club. He wants $Me to perform at the party as part of the entertainment. Stan Biggs wants $Me to come up with the best material she can bring to the table. What should $Me come up with?

A. Impression of celebrities Req. for success: 4 Charisma, 4 Body, 5 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me takes the stage at Stan Biggs’ exclusive party, nerves high but confidence higher. The moment the first celebrity impression hits, the crowd bursts into laughter. One by one, $Me rolls through flawless impressions: a dramatic Oscar-winning monologue turned into a grocery store meltdown, a pop star ordering fast food with unnecessary vocal runs, and a deadpan director giving life advice like it was a movie trailer. The room is in tears and even the hot-shot producer seems amused. After the show, Stan Biggs pulls $Me aside, grinning. “That was worth every penny.” He hands over a fat bonus of §2,499, and $Me gains 1 charisma point from the experience!

❌ Failure: $Me takes the stage, eager to impress with celebrity impressions. But the material feels tired—old impressions of famous stars that have been done a thousand times before. The crowd’s response is lukewarm at best, with only a few awkward laughs. Even the movie producer barely looks up from his drink. Stan Biggs, standing in back, watches in disbelief as the performance fizzles out. As $Me finishes, Stan walks up, shaking his head. “That didn’t hit, kid. You’ve got to bring something fresher next time.” $Me has lost 1 creativity point.

B. Impression of random friends and family Req. for success: 5 Charisma, 5 Body, 4 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me takes the stage at Stan Biggs’ party, ready to impress with some spot-on impressions of friends and family. From mimicking the over-enthusiastic "motivational" cousin who sends five-minute voice messages to everyone, to a hilarious rendition of the uncle who always "knows a guy" for everything, the crowd is in hysterics. Laughter echoes through the room, and even the movie producer is doubled over, wiping away tears. Stan Biggs walks up to $Me beaming after the performance. “You’ve got something special,” he says, handing over a bonus of §3,450. $Me has gained 1 creativity point!

❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the stage at Stan Biggs' party, trying to impress with impressions of friends and family. But his jokes fall flat—the cousin's voice sounds more like a bad caricature, and the uncle's “knowing a guy” bit barely gets a chuckle. The crowd sits in uncomfortable silence, and the movie producer looks bored and leaves early. Stan Biggs walks over after the set, his disappointment clear. “That... wasn’t it. I expected better.” $Me has lost 1 charisma point.

7. Stand Up Comedian Lv. 7  Th, F, Sa / 18:00—2:00

Salary: §860 / Promotion: 7 Body, 7 Charisma, 5 Creativity, 8 Friends People really do like you. You have dedicated fans who come to see you perform. You have made many friends along the way and they are all thrilled to see your late night performances.

Chance Card (40%): A fellow stand-up comic by the name of "Joe Bossel" has been trying to come up with some material for tonight's entertainment. Joe has run out of material and needs some help. It comes to $Me's mind that he and Joe could do a stand-up performance together at the club. Then again, why not just suggest some material? A fellow stand-up comic by the name of "Joe Bossel" has been trying to come up with some material for tonight's entertainment. Joe has run out of material and needs some help. It comes to $Me's mind that she and Joe could do a stand-up performance together at the club. Then again, why not just suggest some material?

A. Suggest material Req. for success: 5 Charisma, 5 Body, 5 Creativity

✅ Success: Joe Bossel looks frustrated, pacing back and forth. "I’ve got nothing for tonight, $Me," he admits, rubbing his temples. $Me thinks for a moment, then has an idea. "Why not talk about the weird things we all do in public? Like, how we avoid eye contact with people in elevators but still manage to look at them out of the corner of our eyes." Joe's eyes light up. "That’s perfect!" he says, and heads straight for the stage. Joe nails it, effortlessly riffing on social awkwardness with perfect timing. The crowd laughs nonstop. $Me watches from the side, satisfied with his suggestion. $Me has gained 1 creativity point! ✅ Success: Joe Bossel looks frustrated, pacing back and forth. "I’ve got nothing for tonight, $Me," he admits, rubbing his temples. $Me thinks for a moment, then has an idea. "Why not talk about the weird things we all do in public? Like, how we avoid eye contact with people in elevators but still manage to look at them out of the corner of our eyes." Joe's eyes light up. "That’s perfect!" he says, and heads straight for the stage. Joe nails it, effortlessly riffing on social awkwardness with perfect timing. The crowd laughs nonstop. $Me watches from the side, satisfied with her suggestion. $Me has gained 1 creativity point!

❌ Failure: $Me notices Joe struggling with his material and quickly suggests, “Why not make a bit about the whole Janette Carson incident? It’s everywhere right now.” Joe hesitates, “But isn’t everyone already making jokes about her? What if it’s overdone?” “Trust me, spin it your way,” $Me insists. Joe takes the stage, diving into the Janette Carson joke with all the details. But the crowd? They’ve heard it all before. The jokes fall flat, and a few people groan audibly. After the set, club owner Stan Biggs shakes his head. “That’s not it, Joe. People are tired of hearing about her.” $Me watches the disappointment unfold, feeling the shame of his failed suggestion. $Me has lost 1 creativity point. ❌ Failure: $Me notices Joe struggling with his material and quickly suggests, “Why not make a bit about the whole Janette Carson incident? It’s everywhere right now.” Joe hesitates, “But isn’t everyone already making jokes about her? What if it’s overdone?” “Trust me, spin it your way,” $Me insists. Joe takes the stage, diving into the Janette Carson joke with all the details. But the crowd? They’ve heard it all before. The jokes fall flat, and a few people groan audibly. After the set, club owner Stan Biggs shakes his head. “That’s not it, Joe. People are tired of hearing about her.” $Me watches the disappointment unfold, feeling the shame of her failed suggestion. $Me has lost 1 creativity point.

B. Suggest a duo performance Req. for success: 7 Charisma, 5 Body, 5 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me and Joe put together a perfect plan. The stage performance is unique and crisp. The humor is complex and modern with a bit of raunchiness. Though this routine was not part of the plan, it sure does get the audience entertained. The club owner, Stan Biggs, is pleased, and $Me and Joe both gain 1 charisma point and 1 creativity point.

❌ Failure: $Me and Joe decide to create quick material for a duo routine onstage. During the act, people give confused stares. Stan Biggs, the club owner, is quite confused himself. Creating a stand-up duo was not part of the plan. $Me and Joe are now demoted.

8. Headliner Lv. 8  Th, F, Sa / 21:00—2:00

Salary: §1,320 / Promotion: 7 Body, 8 Charisma, 7 Creativity, 8 Friends Patience and dedication sure does pay off. Many well-known people in the entertainment industry want to get their hands on you. You are almost reaching your goal of becoming one of the Kings of Comedy. Patience and dedication sure does pay off. Many well-known people in the entertainment industry want to get their hands on you. You are almost reaching your goal of becoming one of the Queens of Comedy.

Chance Card (50%): Tonight is the big night for $Me. A big talent agent really wants to see $Me's potential. There are many other agents at the theater just waiting to see $Me's fantastic talent. How should $Me go about it tonight? Should he talk about the differences between males and females? Or should he base his comedy act on childhood? Tonight is the big night for $Me. A big talent agent really wants to see $Me's potential. There are many other agents at the theater just waiting to see $Me's fantastic talent. How should $Me go about it tonight? Should she talk about the differences between males and females? Or should she base her comedy act on childhood?

A. Comparison between genders Req. for success: 8 Charisma, 7 Body, 6 Creativity

✅ Success: After considering his options, $Me decides to go with a classic—talking about the differences between males and females. On stage, $Me nails it—his observations about how men and women approach everything differently, from packing a suitcase to ordering food, have the crowd in stitches. Every punchline lands perfectly, and the laughter is relentless. Once the set is over, $Me can’t help but smile, happy with the reaction. A man approaches him, introducing himself as a movie agent. “We’ve got an action/comedy film, Let’s Break It to Jessie, and we need someone with your timing. You’ve got potential!” The agent slips $Me a check for §3,450. “Welcome to the big leagues,” he says with a grin. $Me is promoted to Movie Comedian! ✅ Success: After considering her options, $Me decides to go with a classic—talking about the differences between males and females. On stage, $Me nails it—her observations about how men and women approach everything differently, from packing a suitcase to ordering food, have the crowd in stitches. Every punchline lands perfectly, and the laughter is relentless. Once the set is over, $Me can’t help but smile, happy with the reaction. A man approaches her, introducing himself as a movie agent. “We’ve got an action/comedy film, Let’s Break It to Jessie, and we need someone with your timing. You’ve got potential!” The agent slips $Me a check for §3,450. “Welcome to the big leagues,” he says with a grin. $Me is promoted to Movie Comedian!

❌ Failure: $Me makes the decision to jester and poke fun at male and female issues and interactions. The crowd is enjoying themselves until $Me says something offensive about the female gender. The next day, $Me finds out he is #Cancelled and demoted. ❌ Failure: $Me makes the decision to jester and poke fun at male and female issues and interactions. The crowd is enjoying themselves until $Me says something offensive about the male gender. The next day, $Me finds out she is #Cancelled and demoted.

B. Joke about childhood Req. for success: 7 Charisma, 7 Body, 7 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me decides to make his act all about his childhood—taking the audience into the depths of his wildest, most shocking childhood memories. On stage, $Me brings out the most outrageous and hilarious childhood impressions. He nails the over-the-top tantrums, the overly serious arguments with imaginary friends, and the absurd "logic" of a five-year-old who believes they can control the universe with a crayon. The childlike antics are so spot-on that even the talent agents are gasping in laughter. Once the act ends, the applause is deafening. A movie agent approaches, smiling wide. “I’ve got a script for a movie called Little Busy Tike,” he says. “It’s about a man with the mind of a child, and you’d be perfect for the role.” $Me agrees, and the agent hands him a check for §3,450. “You’re now officially a Movie Comedian.” ✅ Success: $Me decides to make her act all about her childhood—taking the audience into the depths of her wildest, most shocking childhood memories. On stage, $Me brings out the most outrageous and hilarious childhood impressions. She nails the over-the-top tantrums, the overly serious arguments with imaginary friends, and the absurd "logic" of a five-year-old who believes they can control the universe with a crayon. The childlike antics are so spot-on that even the talent agents are gasping in laughter. Once the act ends, the applause is deafening. A movie agent approaches, smiling wide. “I’ve got a script for a movie called Little Busy Tike,” he says. “It’s about a woman with the mind of a child, and you’d be perfect for the role.” $Me agrees, and the agent hands her a check for §3,450. “You’re now officially a Movie Comedian.”

❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the stage, feeling confident about his childhood routine. He begins with exaggerated impressions of his younger self—tantrums, imaginary friends, and childhood "logic" that he thinks will have the crowd laughing. But it soon becomes clear the jokes aren’t landing. The childlike antics that seemed so funny in $Me's head fall flat. The crowd starts to shift uncomfortably in their seats, and then, slowly but surely, boos begin to echo through the theater. $Me tries to salvage the routine, but it’s too late—the laughter has turned into disapproval. He’s quickly booed off the stage, the sound of failure ringing in his ears. $Me loses 2 charisma points. ❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the stage, feeling confident about her childhood routine. She begins with exaggerated impressions of her younger self—tantrums, imaginary friends, and childhood "logic" that she thinks will have the crowd laughing. But it soon becomes clear the jokes aren’t landing. The childlike antics that seemed so funny in $Me's head fall flat. The crowd starts to shift uncomfortably in their seats, and then, slowly but surely, boos begin to echo through the theater. $Me tries to salvage the routine, but it’s too late—the laughter has turned into disapproval. She’s quickly booed off the stage, the sound of failure ringing in her ears. $Me loses 2 charisma points.

9. Movie Comedian Lv. 9  M, T, Th / 10:00—18:00

Salary: §2,880 / Promotion: 7 Body, 9 Charisma, 7 Cleaning, 10 Friends Movie moguls and directors have seen and heard of you. Your new job is being the comedy relief in the box office movies. You're becoming a household name.

Chance Card (60%): $Me is in a comic relief role for a movie called, "Deception at Conception".  $Me is aware that this movie is not a pure comedy and that it's really a drama. There is a scene where $Me must show the main character the whereabouts of his long-lost father. $Me will have to decide whether to use a more dry humor or to continue in his own style. $Me is in a comic relief role for a movie called, "Deception at Conception".  $Me is aware that this movie is not a pure comedy and that it's really a drama. There is a scene where $Me must show the main character the whereabouts of his long-lost father. $Me will have to decide whether to use a more dry humor or to continue in her own style.

A. Be yourself Req. for success: 9 Charisma, 7 Body, 7 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me stands on set for Deception at Conception, fully aware that his role is comic relief in a drama. The scene is intense—the main character is searching for his long-lost father, and $Me must guide him to the location. He knows he has to decide whether to play it straight with dry humor or stick to his usual comedic style. $Me decides to be himself, bringing his signature charm and energy to the scene. As he delivers his lines with a mix of absurdity and wit, the director watches, initially unsure. But then, something clicks. The dry humor paired with $Me's quirky delivery lightens the moment in a way that adds unexpected depth. The director laughs, nodding in approval. The scene ends up becoming one of the most memorable parts of the movie, and $Me earns 2 creativity points! ✅ Success: $Me stands on set for Deception at Conception, fully aware that her role is comic relief in a drama. The scene is intense—the main character is searching for his long-lost father, and $Me must guide him to the location. She knows she has to decide whether to play it straight with dry humor or stick to her usual comedic style. $Me decides to be herself, bringing her signature charm and energy to the scene. As she delivers her lines with a mix of absurdity and wit, the director watches, initially unsure. But then, something clicks. The dry humor paired with $Me's quirky delivery lightens the moment in a way that adds unexpected depth. The director laughs, nodding in approval. The scene ends up becoming one of the most memorable parts of the movie, and $Me earns 2 creativity points!

❌ Failure: $Me decides to be himself during the scene. Unfortunately, $Me overdoes it. The overly comedic acting nearly ruins the scene, and the director is furious. $Me is demoted and loses a charisma point. ❌ Failure: $Me decides to be herself during the scene. Unfortunately, $Me overdoes it. The overly comedic acting nearly ruins the scene, and the director is furious. $Me is demoted and loses a charisma point.

B. Dry humor Req. for success: 9 Charisma, 7 Body, 7 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me steps onto the set of Deception at Conception, knowing that the scene requires a more serious, subdued approach. As the main character searches for his long-lost father, $Me decides to go with dry humor—delivering his lines with a calm, deadpan expression and a perfectly timed pause between each sentence. The director watches closely, impressed by how $Me's dry delivery adds an unexpected layer of depth to the scene. It creates an interesting contrast to the drama, making the moment subtly humorous without undermining its emotional weight. Once the scene wraps, the director praises $Me for his choice and later sends along a gift basket worth §9,000. ✅ Success: $Me steps onto the set of Deception at Conception, knowing that the scene requires a more serious, subdued approach. As the main character searches for his long-lost father, $Me decides to go with dry humor—delivering her lines with a calm, deadpan expression and a perfectly timed pause between each sentence. The director watches closely, impressed by how $Me's dry delivery adds an unexpected layer of depth to the scene. It creates an interesting contrast to the drama, making the moment subtly humorous without undermining its emotional weight. Once the scene wraps, the director praises $Me for her choice and later sends along a gift basket worth §9,000.

❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the set of Deception at Conception, ready to use dry humor in the pivotal scene. However, as he delivers his lines, something feels off. His timing is a bit too slow, and the humor falls flat—his cleverness isn’t coming through as he intended. The director, expecting a sharp, subtle wit, looks disappointed. The scene feels awkward, and the intended humor misses the mark. Once the scene ends, the director sighs. “That wasn’t quite what I was hoping for,” he mutters. $Me has lost 1 charisma and 1 creativity point. ❌ Failure: $Me steps onto the set of Deception at Conception, ready to use dry humor in the pivotal scene. However, as she delivers her lines, something feels off. Her timing is a bit too slow, and the humor falls flat—her cleverness isn’t coming through as she intended. The director, expecting a sharp, subtle wit, looks disappointed. The scene feels awkward, and the intended humor misses the mark. Once the scene ends, the director sighs. “That wasn’t quite what I was hoping for,” he mutters. $Me has lost 1 charisma and 1 creativity point.

10. King of Comedy Lv. 10 / Queen of Comedy Lv. 10  F, Sa / 22:00—2:00

Salary: §5,955 You've made it to the top where you have become a legendary comic. The records you're setting are not laughable at all and you mean serious business. Everywhere you go, people smile in your presence.

Chance Card (15%): $Me has been invited to headline the most prestigious comedy roast of the decade, featuring the biggest names in showbiz. The audience is packed with celebrities, critics, and fellow comics. The pressure is on, and they’re all eager to see if $Me can truly live up to his reputation as the King of Comedy. $Me has a choice: should he stick with his signature style, or try to push the envelope? $Me has been invited to headline the most prestigious comedy roast of the decade, featuring the biggest names in showbiz. The audience is packed with celebrities, critics, and fellow comics. The pressure is on, and they’re all eager to see if $Me can truly live up to her reputation as the Queen of Comedy. $Me has a choice: should she stick with her signature style, or try to push the envelope?

A. Signature style Req. for success: 10 Charisma, 7 Body, 10 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me steps onto the stage, feeling the weight of the spotlight and the pressure of being surrounded by the biggest names in comedy. But instead of pushing boundaries, he stays true to his signature style—effortless wit, impeccable timing, and a blend of sharp humor that never crosses the line. With a smooth, confident smile, he launches into his routine, striking the perfect balance between clever wordplay and relatable humor. The crowd immediately feels at ease, laughing along with every punchline, completely engaged. His delivery is masterful—never too harsh, but always on point. Even the roast targets can’t help but laugh at his playful jabs, and there’s an undeniable warmth in the room. The applause is steady, not explosive, but filled with admiration for the smooth, easy flow of his performance. By the end of his set, it’s clear that $Me has delivered an unforgettable performance, and the entire audience has warmed to him, as if they’ve known him for years. Critics and fans alike are praising his comedy for its natural charm and brilliance. Soon after, $Me receives a prestigious invitation to a lifetime achievement ceremony, where he’s honored for his consistency, charm, and mastery of the craft. He’s awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award, along with a generous check for §20,000. $Me is now a beloved household name, adored by families and fans across the world. His style has become iconic, and he’s respected not just for his humor but for his ability to bring people together through laughter. ✅ Success: $Me steps onto the stage, feeling the weight of the spotlight and the pressure of being surrounded by the biggest names in comedy. But instead of pushing boundaries, she stays true to her signature style—effortless wit, impeccable timing, and a blend of sharp humor that never crosses the line. With a smooth, confident smile, she launches into her routine, striking the perfect balance between clever wordplay and relatable humor. The crowd immediately feels at ease, laughing along with every punchline, completely engaged. Her delivery is masterful—never too harsh, but always on point. Even the roast targets can’t help but laugh at her playful jabs, and there’s an undeniable warmth in the room. The applause is steady, not explosive, but filled with admiration for the smooth, easy flow of her performance. By the end of her set, it’s clear that $Me has delivered an unforgettable performance, and the entire audience has warmed to her, as if they’ve known her for years. Soon after, $Me receives a prestigious invitation to a lifetime achievement ceremony, where she’s honored for her consistency, charm, and mastery of the craft. She’s awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award, along with a generous check for §20,000. $Me is now a beloved household name, adored by families and fans across the world. Her style has become iconic, and she’s respected not just for her humor but for her ability to bring people together through laughter.

❌ Failure: $Me takes the stage, sticking to his signature style—light, witty, and relatable humor. But tonight, the crowd isn’t in the mood for his usual charm. His jokes fall flat, and the roast targets aren’t impressed by his gentle jabs. The audience is polite but unenthusiastic, and $Me can feel the energy slipping away with each punchline that doesn’t land. By the time his set ends, there’s a lukewarm round of applause, and $Me knows he missed the mark. The critics don’t hold back in their reviews, calling his performance underwhelming and lacking the edge needed for a successful roast. ❌ Failure: $Me takes the stage, sticking to her signature style—light, witty, and relatable humor. But tonight, the crowd isn’t in the mood for her usual charm. Her jokes fall flat, and the roast targets aren’t impressed by her gentle jabs. The audience is polite but unenthusiastic, and $Me can feel the energy slipping away with each punchline that doesn’t land. By the time her set ends, there’s a lukewarm round of applause, and $Me knows she missed the mark. The critics don’t hold back in their reviews, calling her performance underwhelming and lacking the edge needed for a successful roast.

B. Push the envelope Req. for success: 10 Charisma, 7 Body, 10 Creativity

✅ Success: $Me steps up to the stage, adrenaline pumping as he faces the audience of celebrities, critics, and fellow comics. This is the moment to push boundaries and cement his reputation. With a deep breath, he decides to go all out, taking the risk of delivering his sharpest, most daring material. He starts with a controversial joke that takes the crowd by surprise. Then, he goes deeper, cleverly mocking the roast targets with razor-sharp wit and bold humor. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, eagerly hanging on to every word, laughing, gasping, and sometimes even applauding in disbelief. The energy is electric. The roast targets, initially on guard, find themselves laughing along with the audience, caught up in the brilliance of $Me's comedy. As $Me finishes his set, the room erupts in a thunderous roar of applause. Critics are already buzzing, calling it a game-changing performance. The critics rave about the fearless approach to comedy, and the following days see $Me hailed as a revolutionary comic. The new era of comedy is born, and $Me is the face of it. Soon, $Me receives a prestigious invite to a lifetime achievement ceremony, where he’s presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award for his contributions to the art of comedy and innovation. Along with the award, $Me is handed a check for 20,000 Simoleons. $Me is now not just a comedian but a cultural icon, changing the comedic landscape forever. ✅ Success: $Me steps up to the stage, adrenaline pumping as she faces the audience of celebrities, critics, and fellow comics. This is the moment to push boundaries and cement her reputation. With a deep breath, she decides to go all out, taking the risk of delivering her sharpest, most daring material. She starts with a controversial joke that takes the crowd by surprise. Then, she goes deeper, cleverly mocking the roast targets with razor-sharp wit and bold humor. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, eagerly hanging on to every word, laughing, gasping, and sometimes even applauding in disbelief. The energy is electric. The roast targets, initially on guard, find themselves laughing along with the audience, caught up in the brilliance of $Me's comedy. As $Me finishes her set, the room erupts in a thunderous roar of applause. Critics are already buzzing, calling it a game-changing performance. They rave about the fearless approach to comedy, and the following days see $Me hailed as a revolutionary comic. The new era of comedy is born, and $Me is the face of it. Soon, $Me receives a prestigious invite to a lifetime achievement ceremony, where she’s presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award for her contributions to the art of comedy and innovation. Along with the award, $Me is handed a check for §20,000. $Me is now not just a comedian but a cultural icon, changing the comedic landscape forever.

1. Caretaker (Lv. 1)  S, Th, F, Sa / 22:00—6:00

Salary: §185 / Promotion: 1 Cleaning "Welcome to the world of home care! You’re starting with the least desirable hours, covering the graveyard shift on weekends. You'll handle basic personal care and companionship for your clients. Make sure those cleaning skills are up to snuff."

Chance Card: "Midnight Snack Time" $Me’s client wakes up at 2 AM demanding a very specific snack—an egg salad sandwich, cut diagonally, with exactly three pickles on the side. $Me is pretty sure there are no eggs in the fridge. Will $Me attempt to MacGyver an ‘egg salad’ out of questionable fridge contents, or politely remind the client that it’s lights out and hope they forget?

A. Fake the egg salad.

✅ Success: $Me’s client happily devours their "eggs" (actually finely mashed tofu with a suspicious amount of mayo) and proclaims $Me a culinary genius. $Me might just get a night off from snack duty. $Me uses the extra time to earn 1 cleaning point.

❌ Failure: The moment they take a bite, they pause, sniff, and say, “This isn’t right.” They proceed to lecture $Me for an hour about proper egg salad techniques.

B. Insist it's bedtime.

✅ Success: $Me’s client yawns mid-protest, forgets why they were mad, and drifts back to sleep. Peace returns. $Me uses the quiet time to earn 1 cleaning point.

❌ Failure: They call their adult daughter, who immediately calls $Me’s supervisor. $Me now has to explain why he "denied basic sustenance to a helpless elder." ❌ Failure: They call their adult daughter, who immediately calls $Me’s supervisor. $Me now has to explain why she "denied basic sustenance to a helpless elder."

2. Junior Caregiver (Lv. 2)  S, M, Th, F, Sa / 22:00—6:00

Salary: §215 / Promotion: 1 Body, 2 Cleaning, 1 Friend "You're still working late into the night, but now you’re helping with meals, mobility assistance, and light housekeeping. Your patience is starting to pay off. Keep building that muscle so you can assist clients with limited mobility."

Chance Card: "The Blanket Incident" $Me’s client insists they are freezing and demands five extra blankets, even though the thermostat is set to a tropical 85°F. However, if $Me complies, they’ll likely be sweating through the sheets in an hour. Does $Me bring the blankets and prepare to strip the bed later, or subtly nudge the thermostat down and gaslight them into feeling cozy?

A. Give them the blankets.

✅ Success: They’re snug as a bug and sleep like a rock. $Me, however, still has to strip and remake the bed tomorrow. On the bright side, the extra workout gives $Me a body skill point!

❌ Failure: Thirty minutes later, they’re drenched in sweat and demanding “a full linen refresh, immediately.” $Me can’t help but regret indulging their request for extra blankets in that hot room, and sure enough, his cleaning skill takes a hit. ❌ Failure: Thirty minutes later, they’re drenched in sweat and demanding “a full linen refresh, immediately.” $Me can’t help but regret indulging their request for extra blankets in that hot room, and sure enough, her cleaning skill takes a hit.

B. Adjust the thermostat and gaslight them.

✅ Success: They sigh contentedly and mumble, “Much better.” $Me pats himself on the back for his psychological warfare. The stretch gains $Me a body skill point. ✅ Success: They sigh contentedly and mumble, “Much better.” $Me pats herself on the back for her psychological warfare. The stretch gains $Me a body skill point.

❌ Failure: They catch $Me turning the dial and scream, “SABOTAGE!” Now $Me’s getting side-eyed for the rest of his shift. To avoid the awkwardness, $Me camps out on the toilet for the rest of his shift, keeping an eye and ear toward the door. He’s spared any more glares, but $Me’s leg cramps cost him a body point. ❌ Failure: They catch $Me turning the dial and scream, “SABOTAGE!” Now $Me’s getting side-eyed for the rest of her shift. To avoid the awkwardness, $Me camps out on the toilet for the rest of her shift, keeping an eye and ear toward the door. She’s spared any more glares, but $Me’s leg cramps cost her a body point.

3. Night Shift Aide (Lv. 3)  M, T, W, Th, F / 22:00—6:00

Salary: §295 / Promotion: 2 Body, 3 Cleaning, 1 Friend "The night shift is your world. You’re now trusted with administering medication and assisting with more personal needs like bathing and dressing. Healthy habits will go far in this field."

Chance Card: "Mystery Meds" You notice your client has a collection of unmarked pills in an old margarine container labeled "Emergencies Only." They insist it’s fine and that “the pink ones are for Tuesdays.” Will $Me call the family and risk an earful about ‘overstepping’, or smile, nod, and make a mental note to check their vitals more often?

A. Call the family.

✅ Success: Turns out, the client’s daughter has been trying to get rid of the "Emergency Pills" for years. She thanks $Me profusely, who might have just saved a life. $Me receives a “Thank You” card with 300 Simoleans, and some good karma.

❌ Failure: The family chews $Me out for interfering with “Grandpa’s independence.” They take the pills back and glare at $Me like he personally set fire to his stamp collection. Next shift, $Me finds out he’s getting demoted due to a complaint. No good deed goes unpunished… ❌ Failure: The family chews $Me out for interfering with “Grandpa’s independence.” They take the pills back and glare at $Me like she personally set fire to his stamp collection. Next shift, $Me finds out she’s getting demoted due to a complaint. No good deed goes unpunished…

B. Ignore it and watch their vitals like a hawk.

✅ Success: Nothing terrible happens, and $Me manages to subtly transition them to actual prescribed meds. Crisis averted. $Me’s able to apply that cleverness elsewhere in life to earn 1 cleaning point.

❌ Failure: The next morning, they proudly tell $Me they took “a little something extra” and feel “tremendous.” $Me sprints for the blood pressure cuff. The client turns out just fine in the end, but $Me has to spend a day sitting around documenting the incident, and loses a body point.

4. Evening Aide (Lv. 4)  S, M, Th, F, Sa / 15:00—23:00

Salary: §325 / Promotion: 3 Body, 4 Cleaning, 2 Friends "You’ve earned the shift change! Now you're working evenings, helping with dinner prep and evening care routines. Your experience shines as you help clients wind down. You’ll have more time to socialize outside of work now, but don’t let your skills slip."

Chance Card: "Dinner Disaster" $Me’s client insists on making their famous tuna casserole, but their last attempt resulted in an oven fire and a very angry cat. Tonight, they seem determined to do it again. Does $Me offer to ‘help’ by taking over completely, or let them do their thing but keep the fire extinguisher within arm’s reach?

A. Take over the cooking.

✅ Success: $Me whips up a decent tuna casserole while making them feel like they "did most of the work." They’re delighted. $Me still has to clean the kitchen afterward, but gains 1 cleaning skill point in the process.

❌ Failure: They accuse $Me of ruining their secret recipe. $Me now has to eat three guilt-trip slices while they watch. $Me loses a body point.

B. Let them cook but stand by.

✅ Success: $Me subtly guides them away from disaster, and the casserole turns out fine. They take all the credit, but hey, at least the house didn’t burn down. $Me gains a body point scrubbing mayonnaise out of the carpet.

❌ Failure: The oven catches fire again. $Me is now on a first-name basis with the fire department. There’s more soot than $Me can handle, and he loses a cleaning skill point. ❌ Failure: The oven catches fire again. $Me is now on a first-name basis with the fire department. There’s more soot than $Me can handle, and she loses a cleaning skill point.

5. Senior Aide (Lv. 5)  S, M, Th, F, Sa / 15:00—23:00

Salary: §450 / Promotion: 4 Body, 5 Cleaning, 3 Friends "As a Senior Aide, you’re trusted with more responsibility—managing daily care routines, medication schedules, and offering emotional support to clients during your evening shift. If you’ve got your eye on those prime day shift hours, now’s the time to put in the elbow grease."

Chance Card: "The Television Turf War" Two of $Me’s clients are locked in a bitter dispute over the remote—one wants a 24-hour crime documentary marathon, the other insists on soap operas. The tension is palpable. Is $Me going to flip to a random cooking show and pretend not to hear their protests? Or will $Me declare an emergency ‘TV Timeout’ and enforce a round of Bingo instead?

A. Switch to a cooking show.

✅ Success: They become weirdly invested in a cake competition. $Me has achieved peace and finds the time to build a cleaning skill point.

❌ Failure: One of them hates cooking shows. $Me has made a new enemy. $Me loses a body point when he throws his back out trying to transport his new favorite client back to his room after he pretends to fall asleep in the TV room. ❌ Failure: One of them hates cooking shows. $Me has made a new enemy. $Me loses a body point when she throws her back out trying to transport her new favorite client back to his room after he pretends to fall asleep in the TV room.

B. Enforce a Bingo game.

✅ Success: They begrudgingly play and actually enjoy themselves. $Me is hailed as a genius and gains 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: One of them flips the Bingo board. Now $Me is breaking up a geriatric brawl. When the dust settles, $Me gets a demotion for his trouble. ❌ Failure: One of them flips the Bingo board. Now $Me is breaking up a geriatric brawl. When the dust settles, $Me gets a demotion for her trouble.

6. Day Shift Aide (Lv. 6)  S, M, Th, F, Sa / 7:00—15:00

Salary: §585 / Promotion: 5 Body, 1 Charisma, 7 Cleaning, 4 Friends "$Me’s workday is now during the more desirable hours! You handle more complex tasks, like mobility assistance, meal prep, and coordinating medical appointments. You’ll need to learn to manage your time as a daywalker now!"

Chance Card: "The Wandering Client" $Me’s client insists they are late for work… at the factory they retired from 30 years ago. They’re halfway out the door with their slippers on. Should $Me try to convince them it’s a national holiday and steer them back inside? Or will $Me let them ‘commute’ by taking them for a walk around the block?

A. Convince them it's a holiday.

✅ Success: They nod sagely. “Knew something felt off,” they mumble, settling in for a nap. $Me’s talent for persuasion earns him a charisma skill point. ✅ Success: They nod sagely. “Knew something felt off,” they mumble, settling in for a nap. $Me’s talent for persuasion earns her a charisma skill point.

❌ Failure: They call a real factory and demand to be put on the schedule. Now $Me has some explaining to do. By the time the debacle is over, $Me has fallen behind schedule and loses a cleaning skill point.

B. Take them on a ‘commute.’

✅ Success: They walk the block, return satisfied, and thank $Me for "getting them to work safely." The exercise and fresh air nets $Me a body skill point.

❌ Failure: They reach a bus stop and refuse to go home. $Me now has to negotiate their "early retirement" again. $Me ends up getting so frustrated he loses a charisma skill point. ❌ Failure: They reach a bus stop and refuse to go home. $Me now has to negotiate their "early retirement" again. $Me ends up getting so frustrated she loses a charisma skill point.

7. Lead Caregiver (Lv. 7)  M, T, W, Th, F / 7:00—15:00

Salary: §715 / Promotion: 5 Body, 2 Charisma, 8 Cleaning, 5 Friends "The day shift is all yours! You are trusted to oversee morning routines, personal hygiene, and prepare clients for the day. You’re a trusted part of their morning routine. Your clients love you, but if you want more responsibility over your coworkers, you’ll have to work on those social skills."

Chance Card: "The Pet Situation" One of $Me’s clients has taken in a stray cat. Or possibly several. They claim it's just the one, but $Me hears suspicious rustling behind the couch. Will $Me turn a blind eye and pretend not to see a kitten dart under the recliner, or help ‘rehome’ the extras before things spiral into full-blown hoarding?

A. Ignore the extra cats.

✅ Success: They seem happy, and $Me never officially “saw” anything. $Me is happy to play with kitties each day and gains a charisma point.

❌ Failure: The house smells suspiciously like ammonia next shift. $Me has regrets. $Me loses a cleaning skill point as a result of his naivete. ❌ Failure: The house smells suspiciously like ammonia next shift. $Me has regrets. $Me loses a cleaning skill point as a result of her naivete.

B. Help rehome them.

✅ Success: $Me finds good homes, and his client thanks him (while still pretending there was only one cat). $Me receives 500 Simoleans from the happy owner of a new kitten. ✅ Success: $Me finds good homes, and her client thanks her (while still pretending there was only one cat). $Me receives 500 Simoleans from the happy owner of a new kitten.

❌ Failure: They cry about their "stolen babies." $Me is now “The Villain Who Took Mittens.” The Villain loses 1 charisma skill point.

8. Shift Supervisor (Lv. 8)  M, T, W, Th, F / 7:00—15:00

Salary: §855 / Promotion: 5 Body, 3 Charisma, 9 Cleaning, 6 Friends "You’re now supervising other aides on the day shift, managing schedules, and ensuring your clients receive the best care possible. Your leadership keeps everything running smoothly. Keep going with your personal development and you’ll surely keep moving up the ladder."

Chance Card: "Newbie Woes" A brand-new aide calls $Me in a panic because they weren’t prepared for a client’s "creative" method of using the bathroom. They’re considering quitting on the spot. Will $Me try to give them the pep talk of a lifetime and promise it gets easier? Or casually inform them that this is, in fact, one of the less horrifying things they’ll deal with?

A. Give the pep talk.

✅ Success: They take a deep breath and rally. $Me might have just saved the next generation of home health aides. $Me gains a charisma skill point.

❌ Failure: They quit mid-shift. $Me is now scrambling to find coverage and ends up having to clean the client’s bathroom himself. $Me rushes and does a poor job, losing a cleaning skill in the process. ❌ Failure: They quit mid-shift. $Me is now scrambling to find coverage and ends up having to clean the client’s bathroom herself. $Me rushes and does a poor job, losing a cleaning skill in the process.

B. Tell them it gets worse.

✅ Success: They laugh, relieved. “Good to know this is normal.” $Me’s manager is impressed with his ability to defuse difficult situations and promotes him to Client Liaison. ✅ Success: They laugh, relieved. “Good to know this is normal.” $Me’s manager is impressed with her ability to defuse difficult situations and promotes her to Client Liaison.

❌ Failure: They walk out the door and never return. Whoops. $Me is demoted to cover the workload until a new hire comes along.

9. Client Liaison (Lv. 9)  S, M, T, W, Th / 7:00—15:00

Salary: §980 / Promotion: 5 Body, 4 Charisma, 10 Cleaning, 6 Friends "You’re coordinating care for multiple clients. You ensure each client gets personalized care and manage their schedules, often handling more difficult cases. Your expertise and compassion make you a vital support system for both clients and colleagues, providing comfort and reliability to those who need it most."

Chance Card: "The Family Drama Bomb" A client’s adult children show up, arguing loudly about their parent’s care plan. They demand wildly contradictory things and expect $Me to take sides. Does $Me smile, nod, and try to diplomatically steer them toward a ‘family discussion,’ or will $Me pretend to get an ‘urgent call’ and make a quick exit?

A. Steer them toward discussion.

✅ Success: They begrudgingly talk it out. $Me barely survived. $Me’s people skills gain him 1 charisma point.

❌ Failure: The argument escalates. $Me is now an unwilling witness to decades of unresolved trauma. $Me emerges from the situation hours later, physically and mentally exhausted, and loses a body point.

B. Fake an urgent call.

✅ Success: $Me mumbles a few important-sounding words into the phone then swiftly exits stage left. $Me’s escape is so clean he earns a skill point for it. ✅ Success: $Me mumbles a few important-sounding words into the phone then swiftly exits stage left. $Me’s escape is so clean she earns a skill point for it.

❌ Failure: $Me’s phone actually rings—loudly. $Me is caught. Busted. $Me loses a charisma point for the failed deception.

10. Head Caregiver (Lv. 10)  M, T, W, Th / 7:00—15:00

Salary: §1,405 “At the peak of your career, you’re the beating heart of the home care community—an anchor of support, wisdom, and compassion. You have ultimate flexibility and control over your schedule, overseeing client care and guiding a team of aides with expertise and kindness. Your dedication has changed lives, ensuring every client and colleague thrives under your leadership.”

Chance Card: "The Most Important Meeting of Your Life" $Me is supposed to meet a major donor who could improve home care services for all clients… but a regular client calls, begging $Me to come over immediately for an ‘urgent emergency’ (that may or may not be related to their cat knocking something over). Does $Me drop everything and go to the client, donor be damned, or send another aide and trust they won’t accidentally set off a full-scale catastrophe?

A. Drop everything and go to the client.

✅ Success: The donor hears about $Me’s dedication and doubles their contribution. $Me is a legend. The home care agency’s board of directors grants $Me a bonus of 2,000 Simoleans.

❌ Failure: It was not an emergency. Just a broken figurine. The donor is not impressed, and neither is the home care agency’s board of directors. $Me is demoted.

B. Send another aide.

✅ Success: The aide handles it beautifully. The donor loves $Me’s professionalism. The home care agency’s board of directors grants $Me a bonus of 2,000 Simoleans.

❌ Failure: The aide panics, somehow makes things worse, and now $Me has to fix it.

Sim Bio

Dorian Goth is a teenage genius with a singular obsession: proving science can conquer death—and possibly aliens. Raised by two eccentric minds, he’s currently fixated on winning the Extraterrestrial Reparations Grant, a prestigious (and entirely theoretical) prize rumored to exist for teen Sims who’ve been abducted by aliens. Like his namesake, Dorian believes that perfection—whether in youth, intellect, or immortality—can be achieved through science. His experiments, driven by a growing obsession with defying nature, may lead him to madness—or transform him into a legend of his own making.

Sim Bio

Cindy Burb was probably born running. With the boundless energy of a golden retriever and the competitive spirit of an Olympic athlete, she’s the family’s resident whirlwind. Whether it’s soccer, basketball, or an impromptu footrace to the dinner table, Cindy is always in it to win it. Her cousins, Angela and Lilith Pleasant, are fair game for sports competitions, but Cindy swears she didn’t mean to launch that volleyball at Lilith’s head that one time.

Peter & Samantha Ottomas

The Ottomas family is barely keeping it together—just barely. After the unexpected arrival of twins Kelly and Cody, the family’s routine went from chaotic to total disaster. Grandma's passing left a hole, and David's departure to start his own family hasn't helped, either. Peter, the sportswriter with a wandering eye, seems more interested in the sidelines than his own home life. Big-hearted Samantha is doing her best to juggle family life with her beloved work as a teacher, while young Sharla and Tommy try to find their place in the pandemonium. Will they survive this circus of chaos? Or will Peter’s philandering and the twins’ mischief turn the Ottomas household into a full-blown reality show?

Lilith Pleasant & David Ottomas

Who needs college when you’ve got passion and grit? Lilith Pleasant and David Ottomas are carving out their own path, proving that success isn’t just about degrees. Lilith spends her days elbow-deep in engines, loving every second of it, while David dreams big with his guitar in hand, hoping to make it to the big stage. Their life is simple, their love is strong, and they wouldn’t trade it for anything—except maybe a killer sound system for David’s next gig.

Dustin Broke & Angela Pleasant

Against all odds, Dustin Broke and Angela Pleasant made their young love work, despite a few detours along the way. Now, as newlyweds, they’re suddenly faced with more freedom (and income!) than ever before. After years of shouldering family drama—Dustin supporting his mom and siblings, and Angela playing the peacekeeper—they finally feel like they’ve earned a little time for themselves. Sure, they’ve always dreamed of a big family, but after grinding through college and working hard to build their future, the idea of settling down feels a little more frightening than exciting. Can they really take the plunge, or is the freedom they’ve fought for just too sweet to give up?

Don Lothario & Nina Caliente

Commitment? Overrated. Nina Caliente and Don Lothario are perfectly happy in their open relationship, living life on their own terms. Whether it’s late-night rendezvous, lazy mornings, or avoiding anything resembling responsibility, they wouldn’t have it any other way. But can two free spirits really keep things casual forever?

Dina Caliente

Dina Caliente believes love should be thrilling, passionate, and—ideally—come with a touch of luxury. Fresh off a divorce from Mortimer Goth, she’s landed on her feet financially, but settling down was never really her style. Now, as she raises her son Michael, Dina is figuring out how to balance single motherhood with her love for romance. Can she have it all, or will her heart lead her into trouble?

Isaiah Gavigan

Isaiah Gavigan has always been the life of the party—charming, confident, and never tied down for long. Fresh out of college, he’s got friends everywhere, romance wherever he looks, and… absolutely no idea what to do with his life. Settling down? Not a chance. But with adulthood staring him in the face, Isaiah might have to figure out what he really wants—before the fun runs out.

Alexander Goth

Alexander Goth has always been caught between two worlds—his love of knowledge and his desire to connect with others. Shy but well-liked, he’s built a solid circle of friends, but something still feels missing. Fresh out of college, he’s unsure what comes next, except for one thing—he wishes he could find the one. Will Alexander step out of his comfort zone and write his own love story, or will he get lost in the shadow of his family’s legacy?

Nathan & Mary Gavigan

Nathan and Mary Gavigan’s life is a survival game at this point. With their oldest son, Isaiah, already out of the house, they thought they’d finally have some peace—until surprise twins Brandon and Andrew arrived. Now, they’re stuck in a chaotic whirlwind of diapers, tantrums, and endless bottles, while Nathan spends more time chasing promotions than his kids. Mary is holding it all together with a smile, but behind closed doors, she wonders if Nathan even remembers what it’s like to parent instead of collecting checks. Will their marriage survive the madness, or will Nathan’s obsession with wealth leave him bankrupt in more ways than one?

John & Jennifer Burb

The Burb household is running on love, ambition, and just the right amount of chaos. After three kids, John and Jennifer are still passionate about each other, despite balancing work, romance, and some very lively debates about expanding their family. John, a die-hard Family Sim, dreams of another child to complete their crew, while Jennifer, who’s busy dancing her way through life and building her career, isn’t so sure. Will they add another Burb to the bunch, or is their hands-full, hearts-full life complete as is?

Dirk Dreamer & Lucy Burb

Some couples have sparks—Lucy Burb and Dirk Dreamer have a full-blown inferno. Their chemistry is undeniable, and despite their different ambitions, they just work. Dirk is chasing success, determined to make a name (and a fortune) for himself, while Lucy dreams of cozy family dinners and movie nights. Can they blend love, career, and passion into the perfect recipe for happiness, or will their red-hot romance burn too bright?

Cassandra Goth & Darren Dreamer

Cassandra Goth and Darren Dreamer have somehow blended spooky aristocracy with bohemian chaos, creating a home that’s equal parts museum wing and art studio explosion. Cassandra enjoys warping young minds as a science teacher, while Darren wrangles the kids and occasionally remembers to finish a painting. Teenage Dorian is one experiment away from summoning something deeply concerning… His current goal? To win the Extraterrestrial Reparations Grant. Will young Jasper and baby Lysandra follow in the family's footsteps and don either a lab coat or a beret? Or will they forge their own path? Time will tell—if they can survive the madness, that is.

Mortimer Goth & Brandi Broke

Mortimer Goth thought he’d seen it all, but he never expected to fall in love again. After years of heartbreak after Bella's disappearance, he found himself unexpectedly smitten with Brandi Broke, the one woman who could capture his heart. Brandi, who spent her own life struggling, now wants to share her newfound privilege and love with as many kids as possible. She dreams of having more babies and adopting children in need, determined to give them the childhood she never had. Can this unlikely love story turn into the biggest, happiest family Pleasantview has ever seen?

Daniel & Mary-Sue Pleasant

The Pleasant marriage has more lives than a stray cat, but even they are pushing their luck. After yet another scandal—this time, Daniel’s wandering eye landed on the gardener instead of the maid—Mary-Sue was ready to call it quits for good. But after a rejuvenating vacation with her recently (and miraculously) reunited daughters, she’s decided to give it one more shot. By day, she’s a career-driven powerhouse; by night, she’s a DJ with a smustle routine that can shake the foundations of Downtown. Daniel, meanwhile, swears he’s a changed man…but can he resist temptation one last time, or is this marriage one rose bush away from the compost bin?