messed up.

and when you are ready to view the world with newborn eyes you will find that the stars still shine, the waves still crash, the sun still rises, and your heart still beats.

I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.

And I wanted nothing. Simply to disappear. Silence, muteness. I didn’t know why.

“Describe numbness,” he says. He sits opposite me with his legs crossed. His broad hands enclose mine. “Well it’s like standing on the edge of a cliff and not feeling afraid,” I tell him. I can’t stand the look he’s giving me so I divert my eyes. “It’s like knowing you should feel something but not being able to.”

ambition is devouring her,