Simone the cat

every time I burp I legally have to do a rick sanchez impression or they won’t let me see my family again

and every time we kiss i swear i could fly

i hate oversharing on this blue hellsite but like. what’s my alternative? talking to someone? another human? with words? i don’t fucking think so

at 2:52 AM, no less

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

i’m going to tell you this right now but no song in the HISTORY of music has ever SLAPPED HARDER than JUDY GARLAND doing THE TROLLEY SONG

grow weary of your husband’s neglect. tell tales to the servants and your companions of his violence and brutality. disappear into the night without even your trusted maidservant. spill the blood of a chicken on the floor of your husband’s studiolo. create panic, as your chastity, virtue and the nobility of your blood is well known. your letters telling of your fear and panic are found and read. flee to the villa of one of your suitors before your marriage. he is still charmed by you. make him promise to hide and shelter you. you have brought your jeweled dagger with you. open his throat. stagger onto the road, telling of your violation and pain. all of italy is in a frenzy at the actions of this cur. return home. your husband will see his peasant concubine no more. finally prepare for the birth of an heir.

i wanna know who spent a once-in-a-lifetime event to take this horrifying aesthetically-pleasing picture