✿ starry eyed ✿

Well that’s Tree Hill for you. The people might change but the scenery never does.

I’m not sure if I like that or not. It’s definitely a special town, that’s for sure.

Nick laughed, “Hm, Wonder where she gets that from.” Nick nodded his head, keeping silent as Simone asked him if he wanted to go back inside. He wanted to see her. Just as he was about to put his hand on the back door he froze for a moment. Nick sighed, looking back over at Simone. “How do we do this? I walk in there, you say she knows me, so I walk in there and she knows I’m her dad, but I haven’t been there? Does she talk a lot yet?” Nick asked, after this he would be ready he just needed to know.

Simone shrugged. “She talks a lot, but I’m not quite sure she’s able to comprehend the whole situation, you know? She’s a tiny human that retains the wrong information instead of the right stuff. She’s gonna be as new as you are.” Simone smiled warmly, trying to make it sound at least a little less nerve wracking for the man.

Yeah, I love you but how about no. I promised to keep it a secret if he ever asked, or came around but I’m not going to be the one to tell him. Good, Gavin misses you. I miss you. Is there anyone living there these days?

Fine, I’ll do it.. Maybe. If I even speak to him, that is. I miss you and Gavin, too. No, after the last tenant I decided that no one else was going to screw up the place, so it’s been empty since.

It is; but my journalism endeavors helped me improve, too. I guess we won’t know for sure until we take a good look around. But I’ve been nothing short of fantastic, really. How about you? It’s been…a while.

I’m sure they have. Speaking of which, I used to read my daughter some of your articles before bedtime. Sounds a little odd, but I’m not creative enough to make up a fairytale. That’s great to hear. I’ve been pretty fantastic myself, actually.

Sure, I’ll buy that people are like stars. I love to look outside to the clear night sky and watch them, watching me. But if people are stars, each and every one, then I am a planet and you are a sun. I like having all those stars around, but I’d die without my sun, shriveled up, frozen and lifeless the moment you burned out. As long as you keep burning, I keep moving. We hold each other up.

The more Simone talked on and on about their daughter,the bigger Nick’s smile grew, mesmerized at the thought of imagining it all. Delilah sounded like a handful, and she sounded a lot like her mother. It made him chuckle lightly to himself. “She sounds perfect.” Was all Nick could say. He had a daughter, and even though he had no idea how to parent a child, he loved the idea of her already. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not extremely happy with you right now, but I couldn’t hate you.” Nick shrugged, thinking his reasoning was simple enough.

Simone smiled, “She is. But she’s also very stubborn, so watch out for that.” She let out a small chuckle, knowing exactly who Delilah got her stubborn ways from. “Good, I’m glad. Wanna go back in now?”

I guess staying twenty-nine wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Yeah, I can imagine. Well, do you want to tell him about Lilah? Good, I’m holding you to that. It was a great house wasn’t it?

No. You can tell him for me, though. I’ll be soon back enough, I promise. It definitely was. It’s still one of my favorite places.

“Tell me about her, at least before we go back and she’s in there.” He had missed everything, her birth, her first steps, her crawling, her as an infant. He just wanted to know and try to connect with his daughter before he saw her again. A small smile crept onto his lips as he walked closer to Simone, closing the gap between the two as he hugged her lightly, kissing the top of her head lightly. He pulled back, and looked at her eyes. “I told you, I could never hate you.”

Simone nodded, trying to think of the right things to tell him. At this point she just thought that handing him her baby book would go over better, but she tried anyway. “Well, she was born on October 11th. She has this dumb, little stuffed cat that she takes everywhere -- cats are her favorite, by the way. Mason’s voice is basically the only thing that makes her fall asleep at this point.. Um, she’s a total girly-girl and absolutely despises naps.” As Nick wrapped his arms around Simone, the girl froze, not expecting his actions, but soon relaxed until he pulled back. “That’s good to hear. I’d definitely hate me if I were you.”

“I can’t go back. Simone, I can’t pretend she doesn’t exist.” Nick had no idea how this was going to work, especially with Simone and Delilah residing in Milan for half the year. He had no clue how to be a father, none whatsoever but she was a part of him to. “I’m a father.” Nick said out loud for the first time, uncrossing his arms as he sighed. “You should have told me Sim… but I’m glad I know now.”

Simone threw him a weak smile, “Yeah, you’re a father.” She had expected there to be a lot of yelling, but thankfully she was wrong this time. “I know, I should have. And I’m sorry that I didn’t.” After a few moments, she looked back up at him and tried to make light of the conversation. “So, do you hate me now?”

“And when I asked you about her father? You..” Nick stopped himself, he didn’t want to be angry with Simone, and he was trying to understand but he couldn’t. Nick had never seen himself as a father, and now he was one and it was terrifying. “So now what…?” Nick asked. He knew it wasn’t his fault but now he felt guilty that Simone had been a single mom for two years. 

Simone ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what to do or say. She didn’t even think he’d be back for this week or that she was going to tell him everything. “I don’t know,” she said once again. She was completely out of answers this time.

Nick stood there, a little taken back. “Okay, so she knows who I am. I don’t know who she is. I-.. I missed two years, I missed your pre-..” Nick shook his head allowing his voice to trail off. “Why didn't you answer my calls?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest while leaning against the railing. Nick sighed, moving his ice blue eyes to finally meet Simone’s. “When did you find out?” Nick asked cautiously. 

Her face fell blank, she didn’t have any good excuse this time. “I don’t know. I really don’t know why did that. I’m stubborn and stupid.” She gulped, unsure of what else to say. “Not too long after we broke up. Maybe a couple weeks after.”

The second Nick hit fresh air he let go of his breath that he had been holding inside, gripping the railing that went around the deck. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, shaking his head as he heard Simone’s voice and listened to what she had to say. He need to pick a fight, and his anger had been what had went wrong so many times before in his relationship with Simone that somehow yelling didn’t seem like the appropriate response. “You wouldn’t take my calls. Three years. You made a choice that was not yours to make.” Nick said in calm voice, releasing his grip from around the railing, turning to face Simone. “She’s two… and she has no idea who I am.”

Simone let out a small laugh, surprising herself at the sound of it. “She knows who you are, Nick.” Her voice was small, but it was true. She had talked about him often and showed her pictures. “It was a poor choice to make, and I know that. But she knows who you are. I’m not that bad of a person.”

Nick gave Kara a warm smile, thanking her when she invited him inside, he was wandering slowly behind Simone and was just about to ask where Gavin was when he saw her. Delilah looked so much like Nick it was scary, sure she had her mother’s blonde hair but she resembled Nick in many ways. The gnawing feeling in Nick’s stomach had been confirmed, it was clear that he had a daughter. A daughter that was two years old. He didn’t want to alarm the small toddler but he looked over at Simone with confusion, frustration, and pain in his eyes. “So this is your daughter.” Nick finally managed to form some words,as he ran a hand through his hair. “I need some air.” He stated lowly, making his way towards the back deck, not wanting to speak in front of Delilah.

Simone told Delilah that she’d be right back before chasing after Nick. Once she was outside, she knew a fight would probably break out, so she spoke quickly. “Look, I know that it was terrible, terrible of me to keep this from you, but I was pretty sure you didn’t want anything to do with me after that fight. It was stupid and childish of me and I know that. I’m sorry. I really am.” She took a breath and stood still, waiting for a reaction, whatever it would be.

Nicklas managed to walk a few steps ahead of Simone once she stopped on the side walk, he turned to look at her, arching his eyebrow as she spoke and then walked passed him. Nick rubbed his hands together for a moment, sighing as he followed after Simone shortly after. He waited for a few moments but when Simone didn’t knock, he reached forward pressing the doorbell. He stole a glance at Simone watching as she remained silent.

Once Kara opened the door, Simone ran inside, hoping that Delilah was laying down for her afternoon nap. Instead, she was surprised to find the blonde girl sitting on the living room floor surrounded by toys. “Hey babe,” Simone greeted her with a smile. Delilah faced her mom and Simone knew right then that Nicklas would get it. The girl looked so much like him that it had to be obvious to him. Instead of saying anything, Simone just looked down in shame. She knew she should’ve told him sooner. 

“Thanks,” she smiled and shot her glance down to the sidewalk. She continued to stay silent until they were about to walk up to the house, but Simone stood still for a moment. “Uh, so, Delilah...” She trailed off, trying to find her lost words. “She-- Nevermind. Let’s just go in.” She shook her head and headed up to the door feeling more nervous than she expected to be.

“You say potato, I say tomato.” Nick shrugged, the gnawing feeling coming back into his stomach as he got off the bar stool and followed Simone out the door. “So whats it like? Working and being a mom?” Nick asked, glancing over at the blonde.

The girl let out a shaky breath as they walked to Kara’s. Simone almost thought about telling Nick to leave so she could go spend time with Kara, but decided against it. She’d been keeping that secret for way too long at this point.. “It’s.. Crazy, to say the least. But it’s worth it.”