for future reference (?? for myself), some of my favourite shoot from the hip quotes:
HUSBAND! HUSBAND! THE CHINCHILLA'S A FUCKING NAZI!
OOOOHHHHHH SOMMMERSEEEETTT
i look sssomething like a pond today
JUST A RANDOM GUY OPEN UP!
green leaves... on a summer's day?
what a mighty fine day it is to be sellin' a whole truckload of gas-o-liiiine
it's shit being jesus :|
DON'T TELL SCOTTISH BATMAN TO FUCK OFF! I AM THE NIGHT! I AM VENGEANCE INCARNATE!
small bottle of hand sanitizer?
turns out the cat was not disassemblable
we used to go through strolls in the orchard
please, grammatically continue
♪ I CAN SHOW YOU DESSERTS! SOME OF THEM INCLUDE TRU~UFFLE ♪
♪ I'M GLUTEN FREEE CAN'T HAVE NO BREAD IN MY SYSTEM ♪
"but peter, i don't know how to fly" "oh, it's easy, wendy, you just shove your finger up my ass"
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! WE'RE GOING DOWN TO CHIPPY!
i remember her final words: that looks like a trilobite!
upon the moor (upon the moor)
OO'S YER DAD?
turns out... we've all got the same... dad
yea, 'tis incest once again
"because you had DH...HA" "damn hot attention awareness"
i need to PEE AH NO
i've seen that aubergine... it's unrelenting
old lady margerie
♪ RAGTIME ♪
you HWHIPPERSNAPPER
FIRST DAY IN LOUISIANA?? uaoohh
I SLUT DROP FOR YOU!
all them sexy, sexy eggs...
i don't know to from fro! i don't know,, if i've got a fro!
i've gotta be honest papa, don't know what sisyphus is... is that what mummy said the milkman gave her?
NO I'M FUCKING BATMAN
HE ASTRAL PENETRATED ME
i'll leave you with a poem. rudyard kipling. when the wind does blow to and fro, you must get your shit together and fuck up them hoes
it's called... Be Careful
what a beautiful day... it might be my last!
hit me! hit me in the ballsack!
awww, but gandalf...
HO HO HO
"southern america-" "that's a myth"
"I'VE GOTTA TAKE MY RED TROUSERS OFF!"
can i give you cream, mummy?
why did you never fuck me chess in your mind?
ANDRÉ BEETROOT
TYRANNOSAURUS REX! .. TYRANNOSAURUS BEX!
don't tell me what i aaammm...
i think im being followed by a spectrrree...
i am a gentleman, but not a gentle man
oohhh, meine little liebchen...
gonna have to cancel all my cards...
i just feel SHATTERED, you know?
oh nein :(
no? you cheeky shit!
"nana-" "nananana nananana nananana nananana, ethel!"
oh dear. been eating the bees
the beautiful.... beautiful.... BEAUTIFUUULL
i saw you raise your EYEbrows
i love fast BYIRDS
sometimes my accent wavers into different.... words.....
when you're sitting in the front row, suggest "egg"!
oh, good, we didn't kill the lesbian
MAUUREEEN!
NO NO, CHANGE PAGE, TURN IT BACK! Diary, dear, letter on the front. Dear diar- Dear Inspector. D-Dear- My dear, dear Inspector, Deers- Deers are running around my forest currently in our- in uh... in our gardens. It usually is a sign of- hahahahahahaha AAAGHHH!!! INSPECTOR! LISTEN TO ME, INSPECTOR! INSPECTOR! INSPECTOR! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? LISTEN TO ME! I'M WRITING HERE! I'M SORRY :( that. your. friend. died. I'M REALLY SORRY! I was speaking to my son, the only one al-alive. The only man alive a-left.. FUCKING HELL. The only man alive left in my family. (please turn over) My son said there was a book. A book with leather engraved engravings. I have left it here for you, inside this package. Perhaps you could read it.
i've got limitations, okay? even though i'm FABULOUS
it's the shark ♪
you can't see that :/
DON'T LIE TO ME, GERARD!
otherwise me n my boy, we're gonna fuck you
BBC news. BBC news. BBC.. BBC news? BBC news. BBC NEWS!!! ahh, just BBC news.
(knocks over chair) i have canceerr.
i bow for no man, but i bow.. for a little girl
capoeira is another special.. dance
danananananananananana BATMAN!!
it perishes! quite quickly!
we've actually talked about not aggressively sliding pints to the customers
we have talked about sharing disturbing details about your failed personal life and causing customers to run off before they've had their full stay at the holiday inn
3 years of my tampons are stored in my shed
awww, simon is sick. really sick.
hey, don't let the constant mental breakdowns get you down
"sheila is GOAT." "sheila is jewish."
it's a dead bald man.. a nun's favourite prey!
"i was thinking of uh.. genetically altering one of them and turning it.." "into what?" "just another tiny giraffe! and let it loose on the island!" "what, just, like, an even smaller giraffe, or just-" "no, no. no, no. just the same size and i'll- and i'll let it loose on the island"
"you're fired" "i found your mum"
today embarks on change
today embarks a blood ritual
did you think he said ingmar BIRDMAN?
johnson, if the body was lying where i was lying now, then that... doesn't make any sense at all
bonjour. bonjour. bonjour. bonjour. ............. bonjour
you youngsters with your fidelty and your gay people
cuz you have one thing on your mind. always podcasts.
you can see a television in the dark. you fucking can!
"ive not seen a woman since 1975" "ive never seen a woman. never. i dont know what- what's that?"
and my wife is STILL ALIVE! 🖕🖕
for 15 years, i couldnt shit
ohh, the sheep arent shipping like they used to. it's that fucking lighthouse, im telling you, daughter. it's supposed to keep the sheep on course and the sheep shitting.
radio 4. radio 4. this- fuck... is radio 4.
i have a flick knife. ♪ stuck in the middle with YOU ♪
you had the electric cylinder on the wrong side. E = mc². now, you can penetrate time as many times as you'd like
and now a message from the UK president. i mean, from the UK- from the UK president. ladies and gentlemen, a dark, dark time has come upon the human race. we started this story thinking it was going to be about 2 city planners
SOMEBODY LET ME OUT THE TOILET
WAGA-WOO-WOO, GET READYYYY TO RUMBLLEEE!
"they hooked me up there, and day and night, they've been feedin' on my juices" "i've been thinking about your juices"
♪ WELLLL! oh, welcome to the barn daaaAAAnceee ♪
another has been terminated, your- my lord
"I-I... spy... with my little eye, something beginning with f-f-fffff... F" "is it fear?" "you can't see that :/" "what is it?" "it's an amorphus concept"
from the top, another sexual, uh- another genre of television
"what if he asks to see the raccoon?" "ya missed"
i wanna set fire to this building so you can fuck me!
AND THAT'S HOW YOU FUCK UP SOMEONE WHO'S TRYING TO FUCK YOU UP
PILE DRIVER! PIILE DRIVEEERR! PILE DRIVER! PIIIILEEEE... DRIVER!
i didnt ACT OUT mother, MM
NO! dont join in! it's just me who does it!
i was never sick. i just dont like working!
i shall die as i have lived: shirtless
NAT 20 BEANS!
why you just WALK STRAIGHT THROUGH MY FUCKING SOUP!
stag! stag! stag!
make your tampons attract joy, not bees













