Spit Polish the Universe

i will fucking die on this hill btw. carl is in that tier of side characters u could ponder forever off the crumbs 🤏 provided bc they are doing so much with him. he’s security. he’s the guy with the expense account. he’s brimming with fucking joy at doing Science Experiments. he’s a coworker. he’s a pal. he’s the guy watching over you like a guardian angel while you’re dragged into a long slumber. and probably your death. he’s the guy telling you “you’ll do great” as you beg for help. literally the character ever.

the ideal chai latte is one of the most amazing things on this earth. it’s a shame that most cafes think they have to serve either a cup of grit or milk that they whispered the names of spices to

when i become prime minister i will fund archaeology until we've dug up every car park and found all the kings we've got buried under them

Ochrophytes stole my oyster harvest. Can't have shit in Cornwall 😤

can i come over and touch your things and belongings

after much deliberation I have completed a simple task that took less than 10 minutes, and I'm happy to report that this time it only cost me about 3 days of dread