Stealing Beauty (1996) dir.: Bernardo Bertolucci

for a moment,  he was quiet,  as if struggling to process it all.  his jaw tightened as his eyes locked onto hers,  searching for any answer,  any explanation.  the part of him that held tight to his principles — the part of him that kept everything in order,  every situation mapped out — was failing him.  ❝i don’t know what to do with this, ❞ he admitted quietly,  his voice almost breaking.  ❝but i’m not going to let you just walk away again.  not after everything.❞  his tone softened,  his emotions betraying the hard edge he usually kept. 

she’s quiet , observant — soft stare remaining on elias as he orients himself. hand cautiously reaching out to take his , so that he can feel her touch & know this is REAL , that he isn’t losing his mind. “take all the time you need to process this. i’m not going anywhere.” she reassures with a warm smile.

give me a reason to stay, as if it's that easy. dean wishes that she can just use that skill of hers, to be able to read people and call them out on their shit, and just use it on him. to read him, but maybe keep the truth trapped between the walls of her pearl teeth, like a whispered hymn that only they know the chorus of; why can't that be enough? "don't make me say it," he grits out between clenched teeth, the line of his jaw taut with tension as he clenches his molars against one another to swallow the hard pill of knowing that he doesn't get what he wants in the end. not if he keeps going about it in the way that he has been; with glances over his shoulder, nearly there brushes of fingertips, lingering stares. "you know."

perhaps she did have an idea , but selfishly wanted to drag it out of him. “i’m tired of guessing. i want to hear you say it , dean.” she bit her tongue so hard the metallic taste of blood flooded her senses , heart thudding so loudly against rib cage , half expecting it to leap out of chest & into his arms. frankly , it pissed her off — feeling so much for someone who expressed so little. “i can’t do this anymore.” the defeat in tone unveiling how exhausted she truly was from his constant avoidance. “just say it & i’m yours.” it could be that simple. yet , both of them knew damn well nothing ever comes easy where they were concerned. it was just the BITTER , unfortunate reality stemmed from the lives they lived.

he gestures her closer , as if not wanting anyone else to overhear their conversation. the female takes a few steps towards him , hands coming up to wrap around small frame as the bitter bite of wind picked up , causing a shiver to run up & down her spine. “cult? i mean that’s exactly what it seemed like. the clothes , what they did.” a slight shudder when thinking back to it , those horrific images flashing before her very eyes. “never seen anything like it before.” dragging attention towards the scene momentarily , before exhausted hues return back on him. “what , you actually believe me?” quirking an unamused brow. “those assholes didn’t.”

“   when   i’m   thinking   too   much ,   i   realise   i’m   unkind  .   ” “   i   hope   that   our   few   remaining   friends   give   up   on   trying   to   save   us  .   ” “   what   are   your   intentions  ?   ” “   what   are   your   intentions  ?   i’m   ashamed   by   mine  .   ” “   i’ll   never   come   back   to   this   town   again  .   ” “   i   pretend   that   i’m   nicer   than   i’ll   ever   be  .   ” “   i   hope   you   die  .   ” “   i   hope   you   die  .   i   hope   we   both   die  .   ” “   i   am   selfish   and   deluded  .   ” “   enjoy   my   hypocrisy  .   ” “   i   hope   it   stays   dark   forever  .   ” “   i   hope   the   worst   isn’t   over  .   ” “   i   should   just   shut   my   mouth  .   ” “   i   hope   when   you   think   of   me   years   down   the   line ,   you   can’t   find   one   good   thing   to   say  .   ” “   there’s   evidence   piled   against   me  .   ” “   i’d   hope   that   if   i   find   the   strength   to   walk   out ,   you’d   stay   the   hell   out   my   way  .   ” “   i   am   drowning  .   ” “   you   are   coming   down   with   me ,   hand   in   unlovable   hand  .   ” “   i   don’t   like   walking   around   this   old   and   empty   house  .   ” “   your   mind   is   playing   tricks   on   you ,   my   dear  .   ” “   it’s   killing   me   to   see   you   this   way  .   ” “   there’s   an   old   voice   in   my   head   that’s   holding   me   back  .   ” “   just   let   me   go  .   we’ll   meet   again   soon  .   ” “   all   that’s   left   is   the   ghost   of   you  .   ” “   i   am   awful   just   to   see  .   ” “   the   hardest   part   of   this   is   leaving   you  .   ” “   i’m   a   half - empty   girl  .   ” “   just   let   me   cry   a   little   bit   longer  .   ” “   i’m   not   gonna   smile   if   i   don’t   want   to  .   ” “   i   want   you   to   stop   insisting   that   i’m   not   a   lost   cause  .   ” “   i’ve   been   through   a   lot  .   ” “   all   i’ve   got   is   just   to   stay   pissed   off  .   ” “   leave   me   here   a   little   bit   longer  .   ” “   i   don’t   want   you   to   see   me   cry  .   ” “   you   say   we’ve   gotta   look   on   the   bright   side  ?   well ,   maybe   if   you   wanna   go   blind  .   ”