Mochi Bird

Lady calls in about a gift account she created for her granddaughter when she was less than 7, that she wanted closed and the money transferred to her other grandchildren. Her daughter on the call (not the kid's mother) tells me they don't talk anymore. Ok...

I told her that the granddaughter is 16, those gift accounts turn into regular youth accounts when the customer turns 8, and she doesn't have power of attorney, or custody of the child, and thus doesn't even have the right to know how much money it contains, much less the right to close it

She tells me a different employee at the bank told her three years ago that she as the creator of the account would have a perpetual right to withdraw the money, and I told her that wasn't true

They both start yelling that the granddaughter "Opted out of being part of the family" and didn't deserve the money anymore and definitely shouldn't fucking have it 😶

I tell them they have no rights to this account, the money simply belongs to the granddaughter (and has from the start, might I add)

They calm down eventually and start muttering between each other about how else they can get the money since they "definitely can't let her keep it"

I just left a note on the granddaughter's customer page warning about them trying this again, and said to not give them any info if they do

I just want to make it clear that these people wanted to rob a 16 year old, wanted me to help them despite it breaking every rule of the bank, and somehow considered themselves the good guys in the scenario

So me and my friend were going to go see Sinners, a late night showing, the last one in our city. We decided to go and get dinner together first, and picked a local food court

While waiting for my friend to arrive at the food court, I sit on a bench opposite, objectively, one of the most handsome men I've ever seen in my life. He had nice, long hair, a nice beard, and was wearing a very stylish suit, just trust me. Big Hozier vibes

I steal a few glances (more than a few) and we make eye contact a couple of times, and then his friends arrive, and then mine does too.

While ordering food, I tell my friend about the guy, and even confess I considered slipping him my number (objectively an insane thing that I've never done)

As we head out, we spot him and his friends sitting on the other side of the wall where we sit down. As we eat, my friend starts goading me and telling me I should go through with the number thing, and eventually they wear me down, and I write my number on our receipt

I walk over, freshly full of bahn mi and false confidence, and say "Hey, I really hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable". "I really doubt it would," he says. "I just thought you looked really sweet and wanted to give you my number"

His friends are fully here, and fully observing me, and he smiles, but doesn't say all that much, how would you. He seems flattered, smiling and all, and then we wish each other a good evening

Mortifying ordeal. But at least it's over now

As we head to the cinema (which is close enough, but not like next door), I'm shaking, my heart is racing, I'm still riding the high of actually going through with something so wild

We go and buy some popcorn, and as we're sitting in the lounge, WHO walks in?

The goddamn guy and his friends

My friend spills their popcorn, so we have to go get a new bucket. On the way in and out, we pass them, and I don't even dare to look.

We get back out, and AT LEAST it's over now.

Nope. They are also seeing Sinners, and their seats are right next to ours. They even have to walk past us to get to them

I could have sworn I saw them notice me, but it might be just my brain playing tricks.

Now, unlike the slow burn fanfic where God definitely got the inspiration for this from, I didn't actually talk to him after the movie. I was being driven home by some family friends, and getting home was very important cause there were no more busses running

So after making one of my wildest decisions in a long time, the universe conspired to put me next to this incredibly out of my league guy for the whole rest of the night, and it was horrifying